paying for BM dresses and GM tuxes?

[CrownJewel]

For those of you who paid/are paying for bridesmaids'' dresses, are you also paying for the groomsmen''s tuxes or rentals?

 

[upgrading mama]

out of curiousity, why are you paying for the BM dresses?

I didn''t do either but I think if I did do one I would do the other, to be fair..

 

[CrownJewel]

Thanks Sophie. I guess I knew the answer before I even asked the question It''s only fair to pay for both.

I wanted to pay for the dresses mostly because my little sister is my MOH, and I don''t want her spending too much, especially since she just graduated from college and is not making much in her first job. Two others are also grad students. And those three just happen to live in Boston, so they will have to travel and take time off of work/school to be in my wedding. So I thought it would be a appropriate to pay for a dress that I''m going to pick for them.

 

[Pandora II]

I''m paying for the BM''s dresses.

They are all under 11 years old, and 2 are overseas, so it isn''t that expensive and just makes things easier.

It''s up to the GM''s to do their own.

I''ve just asked them all to wear black morning suits, with grey waistcoats and tie of their choice. Some of them own their own morning dress anyway, and they all earn a lot anyway so I don''t think it''s unfair.

 

[upgrading mama]

I''m not sure if you have chosen a dress or bufdget for the girls...but here is an idea, maybe you could pay for 1/2 of their dresses? I think it is very kind of you to offer to do that, however I think it is understood when you agree to be in someone''s wedding that there is an expense to it. I don''t think you should feel responsible to have to pay for everyone''s stuff... unless of course you are a millionaire, in which case, buy away!!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I budgeted to pay for both the BM dress and the groomsmen''s tuxes. I told my BM she could wear whatever she liked, I really couldn''t care less, but if she wanted a dress, I was happy to pay. She ended up using a dress that she was buying for another event, so I applied that money to a very nice MOH gift and paid for her hair, makeup, mani, pedi etc. for the day of as well as accommodations for the trip (she was flying in from OOT for the wedding). We did pay for the groomsmen''s tuxes and my husband bought them the ties he wanted them to wear for them to keep. We felt that if were going to ask them to be in the wedding, we should foot the bill. I think they all appreciated it, which made us happy.

 

[BlueKeet]

It probably depends on circumstances if you pay or not. From what I can tell if you can afford to pay for the dresses and tuxes do so. I think most people expect and are willing to pay for their own attire, but really appreciate any help you can provide. I would happily have paid any reasonable expense to be in a friend''s wedding, but since the most I''ve paid to be in a wedding were alterations on a BM gown my thoughts on this are a bit different.

I am paying for the bridesmaids dresses and their hotel rooms as I was uncomfortable asking them to be in my wedding let alone buy a dress I picked out and stay at the hotel I selected (yeah I want them at the same one as me and not driving 70 miles home after the reception). Interestingly enough, we are not paying for the groomsmen. FI''s logic being he has had to pay for tux rental and accomodations for the weddings of each of his groomsmen (yes, he is the last one to get hitched).

 

[CrownJewel]

Thanks ladies. This is tough! I am certainly not a millionaire; I just feel badly that there are so many expenses involved in being in a wedding party. You gals just reminded me of some I didn''t think of! If 3 girls are coming in from Boston for my Sunday afternoon wedding, they will probably stay the night. So someone will have to pay for hotel rooms for Sunday night. I sort of assumed I would pay for hair and makeup.

I know that the girls already assume they are paying for these expenses, but this is all new to me and it seems like there''s so much!

Sophie, I considered paying for half, but then it started to seem weird to me. I think I would rather just pay for certain things, like the hotel room, and/or the shoes, and/or the hair and makeup. But I don''t which expenses to pay for. FI and I can''t afford to pay for all of their expenses, because we are already paying for the whole wedding ourselves.

What to do?!

 

[bee*]

We''re paying for both. Any wedding I''ve been to over here (Ireland) the bride and groom have paid for both the bm''s dresses, shoes etc and the GM''s tuxes.

 

[zoebartlett]

We only have two people in our wedding party -- my sister as my MOH and my FI''s friend as his best man. I was planning on buying my sister''s shoes and her dress but she made it to the register before me.

I had told her I was going to pay but she wouldn''t let me. I will pay for her makeup and nails to be done (she doesn''t want her hair done). I think my FI is going to offer to buy (or rent?) his best man''s suit or tux. I''m not sure that he''ll take my FI up on it but at least put the offer out there.

 

[brgirl]

Hi! We paid for half of our bridesmaids'' dresses and a part of the groomsmen tuxes..mainly to get the cost for both down to $100 for each. We picked the BM dresses first, and the only one they all liked was $200 (and that was even discounted from netbride..they are watter''s dresses that are $320 normally). I felt like $200 was too much for them to pay, so I told them I''d pay half. Then, when we picked the groomsmen''s tuxes, they were going to be ~120, so we put some money down to decrease their price as well. Worked out that they each paid $100 for their ''outfit.''

 

[LauraSLP07]

My BM gown is here (it will be in cornflower blue): http://www.morilee.com/DressDetail.aspx?C=9&D=455&P=1

I love the gown as is (strapless), but my 3 BMs are all plus size and larger chested. To make them more comfortable, I decided to modify the removable stole included with the gown into a halter.

The alterations department at the bridal shop said that the halter modification would cost $25. To help out my BMs, I gave each of them a gift card to the bridal shop for $25. The extra alteration was my idea, so I figured that I could at least help them out with the payment.

 

[GolfGirl2008]

I haven''t chosen my dresses yet but since I have nine bridesmaids and a junior bridesmaid, and we are all in our thirties, except for the junior bridesmaid, no I am not paying for them. The groomsmen are all nearly or already 40 years old so we won''t be paying for them either. I will pay for the Junior BMaid and any flower girl, ring bearer outfits though.

I have been a bmaid 8 times and always paid for my own dress.

 

[flutterby]

i told my BM''s that they wouldnt have to pay over $100 for dresses and I paid the $120 extra...my DH also paid for tuxes.

Everyones situation is different, its by no means necessary to do the same for each.