Picking a wedding dress with the groom in mind?

[Diamond Confused]

My FF and I have very different taste when it comes to wedding dresses. He loves very traditional ball gown dresses and I love anything that is non traditional. Should a bride wear what she dreams of or what her fiance envisions her in?

 

[trillionaire]

Honestly, I think he will love whatever you wear. He''s not going to see it until you are coming down the aisle. I don''t think you should wear anything that makes you feel less than 1000% fabulous! If you can agree on something, then great. Otherwise, will you be suggesting what he and the groomsmen wear? Probably not. He loves you, including your sense of taste. I can''t imagine that he will even be thinking about the dress. Unless it has a corset back... then he might plot how to get it off....

 

[FrekeChild]

I''m aiming for a happy medium. He wants me in a simple white gown. I want silver sparkles. What''s the compromise going to be?

Silver simplicity. With very sparkly shoes.

 

[bettina]

I wanted a Maggie Sottero and he is very flashy. So, I found a Maggie covered in crystals. To die for.

 

[AdiS]

I think you should find the dress of your dreams and wear it on your most important day. Guarantee he''s going to love it no matter what he envisioned you in. And honestly, grooms tend to focus more on the whole picture, not on the details i.e., YOU looking fabulous rather then what exactly you are wearing. On our wedding day my hubby kept telling me how beautiful I am. Later, when we received our wedding photos he was like "Wait, you were wearing gloves?"

lol

 

[aliciagirl]

Date: 8/28/2008 2:30:42 AM
Author: trillionaire
Honestly, I think he will love whatever you wear. He''s not going to see it until you are coming down the aisle. I don''t think you should wear anything that makes you feel less than 1000% fabulous! If you can agree on something, then great. Otherwise, will you be suggesting what he and the groomsmen wear? Probably not. He loves you, including your sense of taste. I can''t imagine that he will even be thinking about the dress. Unless it has a corset back... then he might plot how to get it off....

Hahaha... My FF has made it very clear how great and nice and wonderful it would be if my dress had a corset back. I think it is something I will do, even if it means alterations, because it really would make him happy.

I think that the others are right, he likely won''t notice the exact style and details of your gown. He will be too caught up in you looking better than ever and marrying him! Since he loves traditional, maybe don''t do something TOO over the top, but otherwise I''m sure it would be fine.

 

[lala2332]

BF is very plain and traditional and he knows i''m way more of a risk taker in fashion. He just doesn''t get trends when he sees them. He will something I''ve bought and wrinkle his nose and then once I have it all pit together, he is like....oh, ok, i get it. so funny!

anyway, he told me he is preparing himself for when he does NOT to like my wedding dress. He thinks I''m going to choose something very fashionable, but not necessarily traditional. We shall see!

 

[fieryred33143]

Normally I would say wear what you want. But in the case of weddings, one of the best pictures is of the groom when he first sees his bride. Despite all the love he may have for you, initial reactions when you see something is hard to control.

I''d rather get

And not get

 

[tessari]

Depends on the guy--does he notice these things?

I know mine will literally gag if he sees me in a pouffy white dress! So that''s definitely off the list even though I think those can be really fun to get married in, and what other time can you wear that?

 

[musey]

My fiancé didn''t have any specific ideas about my dress, but I knew he liked grecian styles on me in general. I tried on a lot of those dresses, and almost picked one (I still feel sad about that! haha).

Anyway, I think it''s good to shop with his preferences in mind, and give those gowns he''d totally love a chance--but in the end, it''s your dress that you have to feel beautiful in. No matter what, it''s how you feel in the dress that will make you look beautiful, not whether or not it fits his "image."

 

[decodelighted]

If the guy cared *too* much about my DRESS I'd be a little worried that he might turn out like the dude on Real Housewives of NY.

But seriously, I'd ask him how much it matters to him if you wear a princess dress ... on a scale of 1-10. And go from there. He may have a preference but not be NEARLY as invested in the "vision" as you are. In which case, please yourself.

ETA: Let's hope the DRESS isn't what he'll be noticing anyhoo. Even if he *hated* the dress ... I'm sure YOU'll look lovely!

 

[Diamond Confused]

I actually just finished watching a show that said you should look how you like to look so don't make your wedding style too different than what your regular style is.
Since we started dating he has always told me he loves how I dress. I guess if he loves my style I should stick to that. He has mentioned a few styles he hates so I'll stay away from those.

 

[Bia]

He might think he knows what he wants you to wear but I SAY, GO WITH YOUR GUT...as long as you look strunning (which you will) he won''t even remember what he said when he sees you.

He will just be

...trust me

 

[absolut_blonde]

SO had zero input to offer when I asked him about dress preferences! But even if he did... I would ultimately go with whichever dress was the most flattering.

Often, you hear about brides selecting a dramatically different dress than they thought they would because their preconceived fantasy dress wasn''t all that flattering (or they just didn''t like it much actually on). Wedding dresses seem a bit tricky, in that way. So if women can miscalculate what would be best on themselves, I don''t think a SO''s idea is necessarily going to be any more accurate. Even if he does have a strong idea that you should wear ''x'', that doesn''t mean it''s what he would ultimately like best ON you given all the choices!

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

My bf has commented several times over the six years that I''ve known him about backless dresses that he sees at formal events. I get the impression that he really likes that look. So while I''m not going to wear a down to my **ahem** backside cleavage type of dress, I will be looking for something sort of lowcut in the back. Ultimately, I''ll buy whatever is the most flattering on me.

So I guess my answer is that I''d take his wishes into consideration, but I get veto power! I think his should be the same. A bride can have imput on the tux, but the guy gets to say no if he refuses to wear a pink vest!

Also, I think a groom should be able to veto a red bridal gown and a bride should be able to veto the groom''s converse sneaker idea.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

You know how women always look more beautiful when they love what they are wearing? This definitely applies to one''s wedding day. If you''re in a dress that you love, everybody knows it, most notably the groom.

I honestly didn''t realize that men had opinions about wedding dresses, haha. My own husband thought wedding dresses were the epitome of tacky clothing and I often threatened to buy the poofiest dress I could find. I think he expected me to show up in shorts. In either case, it wouldn''t have mattered even slightly--I think all brides look beautiful on their wedding day and it has absolutely nothing to do with the dress. So buy whatever you love and I have no doubt your groom will love it, too.

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

oh btw, BF has never said he liked backless wedding dresses. It''s just something I''ve picked up on from other events. I know he''ll think I''m beautiful no matter what, but I really want to shock him! (in a good way)

 

[mimzy]

haha, when i began shopping my FI was all about the super-poof frilly gowns with lots of embellishment, which really surprised me....and disappointed me a bit as they were not my thing at all. i found a dress that had the silhouette that i liked, but had some embellishment that i think he''ll like (i would have had it removed otherwise). i really wanted to take his opinion into consideration but i just couldn''t bring myself to buy a dress that i didn''t love on the ''off chance'' that he''ll like it better (which there''s really no way of knowing for sure!)

 

[PearlDahhhling]

As I''ve been looking through my wedding mags and looking at dresses online, I''ve been asking FI his opinion on different dresses and really the only things he feels strongly about are that it be strapless, and not super crazy poufy. Which is great because I pretty much had a strapless, a-line gown in mind anyway. I have found a few that have straps that are really pretty, but have no problem going for a strapless if that''s what he likes, because I like it too! Ultimately I want to pick something that will make me feel beautiful on my wedding day, and also something he will like me in, but I''m pretty sure that no matter what I pick, he will love it.

 

[Kaleigh]

This is funny, as my DH back in the day of getting married in the 80''s!! Said please do not pick a dress with those big pouffy sleaves!! I said no problem, I hate them too, so that was all I got from him. He didn''t see the dress I chose until I walked up the aisle, I got a HUGE smile from him. I loved that!!! And would wear that dress today, it''s timeless and elegant.... Not at all ''80''s.

 

[Pandora II]

DH had very definite ideas on my dress.

I always thought I''d go for some slinky sheath type dress. I showed him loads of photos in wedding magazines and he hated them all. In the end, he came up with the Tudor idea.

He picked one of the fabrics and worked on the designs with me - but he didn''t get to see the actual dress until I walked down the aisle.

Not only was he still blown away - sketches on paper are not the same thing as seeing the actual dress - but I knew we both loved my dress.

My dress is very special to both of us - we both designed it with huge amounts of research going into it, and my BFF''s husband custom designed and wove my fabric. I guess it''s a bit like my e-ring, the experience of designing them and choosing all the different elements is almost more precious to us than the finished article.

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

what about a modern ball gown... check this one out by Melissa Sweet! I love this dress!!!