pity party vent

[jcarlylew]

this thread is SOLEY for a pity party vent - feel free to add your own here too!

location- since we''re on a tight budget, i figured a park, or home wedding would be perfect..until...
dress - the (new)dress i tried on thats within my budget is GORGE (maggie sttero, Adelaide ) until my mom reminded me that an outdoor wedding would ruin the dress (any one have any suggestions)
Location again - most all is just not affordable, and meets both of our criterias. hopefully my old church will work out, but i know E is not keen (meaning, orginally he said he would never get married in a church) on the idea.
food - we were really hoping for BBQ, but might not work out if we have an indoor wedding. and honestly (with my sister being a chef, and my parents being great cooks) all the vendors food looks like poo to me.
money - never enough of it! just when i think we might be able to afford a wedding, all those fun surprises always come up


phew. thanks for letting me vent. problems may not be solved, but at least i got it off my chest!

 

[ficklefaye]

why would that dress be ruined at an outdoor wedding? i think it''s beautiful

 

[ficklefaye]

would you be able to have the wedding in someone''s backyard? so you can still have the bbq and keep things simple

 

[Rock_of_Love]

I think you should wear whatever dress you want!!! Who cares if it gets a little dirty on the train, are you reselling it?? Well, even then, you can always have it cleaned!! BUT, I do think it is a little formal for a backyard BBQ wedding...however, you should wear whatever you want!!!

 

[MonkeyPants]

Boo jcar. I''m sorry about all the issues you''re having. I am also having money issues. L and I found our perfect ceremony and reception venue even though it was waaay over budget. Since the site was very flexible with letting us choose our own caterers and bring our own alcohol, we''ve made up for it in that department. Also it''s such a naturally beautiful location that we cut on our floral as well. I found that using an online budget calculator (I use www.marthastewartweddings.com) really helps you to see where you can afford to spend if you splurge on one item like your dress...Good luck lady!

 

[sunnyd]

How many people are you having jcar?

 

[NakedFinger]

Who cares if the dress gets dirty? You are only wearing it once!

Plus if it doest get ruined, it will most likely only be on the underside of the bottom/train as it rubs along the grass. No different from taking outside pics in a park or something before going to a venue.

 

[House Cat]

Hmm..in my neck of the woods, most weddings are held outdoors. Most weddings are in the spring and summer...sooo, these dresses, they go outside, they get dirty on the underside, and the fabric is thick enough so that they can withstand it.

If you''re really worried, hem it one inch off the ground and bustle the gown. But wear the gown and have the outdoor wedding you want! There are no rules!

 

[tlh]

Date: 7/24/2009 1:11:56 PM
Author: NakedFinger
Who cares if the dress gets dirty? You are only wearing it once!

Plus if it doest get ruined, it will most likely only be on the underside of the bottom/train as it rubs along the grass. No different from taking outside pics in a park or something before going to a venue.

agreed!

 

[lala2332]

-since your sister is a chef, does she know anyone nearby that could cater it? Or if you went to culinary school and got some students to actually cook a menu that your sister created and shows them? If your sister is a chef at a nicer restaurant, could you have the reception there? or see if they will cater it?

-do you know anyone with a home/backyard large enough to hold the wedding? that might be the least expensive option. We are having the reception at my parent''s home b/c it is sentimental to me, but I think its also saving a lot of money.

-where whatever you want. My only hesitation on such a fancy dress, is make sure that you won''t be too hot! We forget how heavy and how unbreathable most silks and satins are, and it will invarably be way hotter than you anticipated on your wedding day (murphy''s law), but other than that...get what you want!

 

[jcarlylew]

ahh i love my BIW''s!

thanks for all the support!
i figured the maggie dress is that i am settling because of the price, even though it is BEAUTIFUL on. so i am going to revist the dresses that i like, and make a decision next month.
I think i was just getting stressed with the age-old issue of time frame.

Thank you again for your sugguestions and support - i am definately going to ask my sister for (affordable) suggestions. someone suggested my sister run it, but honestly i would only want her to create the menu, not run the show. she should be able to enjoy the wedding!!

Fickle - Thank you i guess i am just worried becuase washington is WET. but we are thinking about renting a dance floor (hello $)
Rock - you''re right, it is a bit fancy for outdoors, but then again, i am not one to match my surroundings

Monkeypants - thanks for the money saving tip! i am definately going to barter (hey, i just got 105 back from BOA, i can do anything!!)
sunny- i think we''re going to be about 80 over all. pretty standard, right?
Naked - yep, good point about the train getting the most dirty. i would have a bustle too, so i know that would help.
House Cat - thank you for letting me know!
THL -
Lala- thank you for the advice about the dress - i cant believe how hot i get just standing in one dress

. hopefully my sister will be able to offer up some suggestions. We''re thinking about using E''s families house but the additonal rentals will jack up the price.

thank you again ladies for letting me have a pity party! i have renewed my faith in being able to not have to settle!.

 

[ficklefaye]

oh no, jcarlylew, do not settle for your wedding, do what''s right for you, i''m sure you can find ways to splurge on some items and save on others

 

[cocolaw]

ditto on the dress........at best you wear it and look beautiful on your wedding day, and later it hangs in the back of your closet looking clean. at worst you wear it and look beautiful on your wedding day, and later it hangs in the back of your closet with a few stains......buy the pretty dress!!!!!

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 7/24/2009 4:48:41 PM
Author: cocolaw
ditto on the dress........at best you wear it and look beautiful on your wedding day, and later it hangs in the back of your closet looking clean. at worst you wear it and look beautiful on your wedding day, and later it hangs in the back of your closet with a few stains......buy the pretty dress!!!!!

Exactly! FMIL''s dress has a footprint on the train and it''s still beautiful.

80 people...you want me to see what I can find in the area?

 

[jjdav]

I recently got married at a lovely restaurant because of a problem with getting a venue (long story), but since the restaurant provided the food & drinks, and our ceremony was around 5:30pm, they agreed to keep the restaurant closed until after our ceremony. We were also able to bring in our own decorations

so in the end we didn''t pay anything for renting the space, just what was consumed.

By the way, that is one great dress!

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

stick to your guns with your orginial plans...who cares if your dress doesn''t really suit a backyard bbq wedding? Personally, i love the your idea. (however i may be a little biased since i am having a backyard bbq wedding too). PS, if i had a sister who was a chef i would be utilising her any way possible! You are soooo lucky to have her. I agree that caterers can seem not that crash hot when you know what really good food tastes like.

 

[ilovesparkles]

I missed you finding this dress, it is GORGEOUS!!!! Looks like one I tried on and loved! I say get the dress you want the most no matter where or what the venue is! My BM had an early afternoon, luncheon buffet, and her groom wore tails. Why? Because he wanted to! You are the bride, you get to me a dressy and fussed up as you want no matter how casual the wedding may be!

Is there an outdoor grassy area at the church? I am lucky to have our synagogue next to some wooded land with a huge grassy area. Maybe if the wedding is outside the church building your FI would be ok with it?

 

[cindygenit]

Can i just say that i LOVE your wedding dress........

 

[honey22]

Your dress won''t be ruined with an outdoor wedding. Ourdoor weddings are incredibly popular especially in the warmer months, and many brides wear big beautiful dresses. You may get a few snags on the bottom, but in the end does it really matter? You are not going to wear it again so you might as well get married in a location that you love!

 

[jcarlylew]

i love ALL of you!!

Cocowlaw = you are 100% right, and i really thought about that yesterday. THANK YOU.

Sunny - hee hee, thanks.

I''ll let you ladies know what i decide on the dress. oh, i found it at a random bridal boutique in REDMOND, WA.

 

[junebug17]

I''m married and a lot older than you, and don''t have too much too add, but I had to pop in to say you should wear whatever dress you want! The dress you have shown is gorgeous, don''t let a little dirt keep you from getting the dress you love. And don''t worry about it being too formal, it''s your special day, you should do and wear whatever makes you happy! I also want to add that I sympathize with you, I feel badly for engaged couples these days, everything is just so expensive, I''m shocked when I hear how much weddings can run. (I know, I sound like the old lady I am!) I''ll be dealing with all of this down the road, I have a 20 year old daughter! Just wanted to tell you not to stress too much, your wedding reception will be wonderful no matter what you decide to do, because you will be celebrating your marriage with family and friends!

 

[Dannielle]

I think that dress is stunning and if you feel like that is *the dress* you should buy it, regardless if you get married in a backyard or the finest chapel