Pix w/ Future Hubby right before the ceremony?

[jas]

Hi there...thanks for being patient with me...I''ve been overwhelmed this week -- and it''s only Monday!

Anyway, met with the Wedding Planner today (or, as I call her, Mrs. Stress Relief) and she said that 95% of her clients do a SECOND rehearsal (sort of a dress rehearsal) onsite in full gear to practice maneuvering down the aisle (and, in my case, up a few stairs to our theater-in-the-round chuppa and the dance of the 7 veils...er, the circling of the groom). Then she also said that we''d take pictures at that time so we can be with our guests during most of the cocktail hour (after our 15 minutes alone together). We would have a more full-blown rehearsal the night before at the rehearsal dinner.

I''m wondering if any of you did this, and if so, would you recommend it. My ONLY concern (other than tripping in the dress, so the rehearsal would be a plus) would be losing that "moment" when our eyes lock and he first sees me at the ceremony. However, I understand that, obviously, he would still see me for a first time, just without the throngs.

If you didn''t do this, would you recommend it?

Thank you for your input!

Jackie

 

[Faerievert]

I would highly recommend doing the pictures together before the ceremony. That''s what I did. And you can always arrange to have some sort of ''moment''. Mine was me walking down the grand staircase where we did our formal photos. Groom isn''t a softy though, so we didn''t get any good teary-eyed pics out of it. But it''s still a lot less stressful to have the pics done ahead of time- and you don''t leave guests waiting. We started photos nearly 3 hours before the ceremony so that we could take our time getting all the posed shots and have time to get over to the venu, etc. As for the dress rehearsal, if you have much manuevering to do in a big dress, it might be worth it!

 

[KimberlyH]

Hi Jas,

I''m not married yet, so I''m speaking future tense, but we will be taking pictures prior to the ceremony on the day of the wedding. My feeling is that the special moment won''t be lost as we will get to experience it (almost) alone...with only the photographer there to witness it. And then we have more time to enjoy our day instead of spending an hour of it taking pictures while our guests wait around for us to be through (we''re having a cocktail hour as well).

As for doing a full dress rehearsal, I don''t think I''d be game. It would, in my opinion, make the wedding feel more like a play than the joining of two lives.

But only you two know what is best for you! Good luck deciding.

 

[KristyDarling]

DH and I saw each other a couple hours before the ceremony during our pre-wedding photo shoot. We didn''t want to keep our guests waiting during cocktail hour so we opted instead to take our pics beforehand, and then join our guests immediately after the ceremony for cocktails. (something it seems our guests appreciated) DH and I wanted our "first sighting" of each other to be special and private, so we pre-arranged for everyone to vacate our hotel suite so that we could have some time alone. At the last minute, we asked our photog to hide behind the door and take pictures in an inconspicuous way, so that we could capture our first looks at each other on film. It was a very special moment.

That''s also when we exchanged small gifts -- just another little something to make the moment even more special. Afterwards, we and our parents, siblings, and wedding party spent about an hour and a half tooling around San Francisco doing our wedding party photos. Champagne was flowing and we had a BLAST. Doing all the photo stuff before the wedding was great because we got it all out of the way while having fun with just the inner circle. It also served as a great stress relief, so that the ceremony and reception afterwards felt more natural and relaxed for us.

 

[E B]

FI and I will be taking pictures before the ceremony as well. We''re not doing a cocktail hour, and since our wedding is in June (in TEXAS!) we''d like to have our pictures taken while we''re "fresh" (not sweaty).

 

[plantationcatt]

Since I''ve not been married, I have no personal experience...but I wouldn''t want to lose that "moment." I would say, do all the rehearsing that needs to be done at the ONE REHEARSAL. You can always rehearse in full gear while the groom isn''t watching--just improvising when necessary. And if things don''t go perfectly at the reception, oh well! Laugh it up to real life.
But at the last few weddings I''ve gone to, all photos were done that didn''t need the bride and groom in them at the same time (IE: groom and his groomsmen; groom and all bridesmaids; etc..) So that after the ceremony there are fewer that need to be done.

 

[anchor31]

I know my mom will be pissed (she says I just can''t do that, he''s not supposed to see me before the ceremony, yadda yadda yadda...

), and I really, really, really hope my traditionalist of a FF (*grumble grumble*

) will agree, but the pictures before the ceremony is something I want to do. I guess it''s depend on our ceremony venue, but it''d be really great. Less stress, less waiting for the guests, and a very special moment that''s much more private with just the photographer there. I''m sure I''ll find a way to make a grand entrance one way or another.

 

[RoseAngel04]

I''m not married yet, but when the time comes I personally would not do the pictures ahead of time. One of the big exciting moments will be when me and my FF''s eyes meet as my father walks me down the isle. I''ve dreamed about this moment for forever and won''t be doing the pictures before hand. For me it would lessen the excitement of walking down the isle to my husband to be since we already spent all that time together for the photos. I agree to take all the bridesmaid/groomsmen pictures ahead of time, but all the ones with the bride and groom will be done after we say "I do." Lol...it just made me think that you''d look back at your wedding pictures and realize, huh we weren''t OFFICIALLY married yet when we took these. To me I want them to be out first photos as man & wife. We will stick to the tradition of not seeing each other until I walk down the isle to him...ah can''t wait

With all that said, do it the way you and your FI feel most appropriate for it is your day.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

As of right now my FI will not see me until I come down the aisle. I did play around with the idea of having all our pictures before hand but my mom didn''t really like that idea. We are having a cocktail hour so according to the WP that will be plently of time to get our together pictures. We will meet with the photographer in July so unless they change our mind, that is the plan.

 

[JCJD]

Myself and others have said this before, and I''m saying it again:

SEEING EACH OTHER BEFORE THE CEREMONY WILL NOT TAKE AWAY THE SPECIAL MOMENT!!!!!!!!! IT SIMPLY MOVES IT!

It''s all a matter of preference - do you want to have the special moment alone (photographers perhaps) or in front of family and friends? The benefit of seeing each other beforehand is you actually get to take him in and kiss him without being rushed into the ceremony, which is what I did.

 

[E B]

Date: 6/20/2006 12:39:17 PM
Author: JCJD
Myself and others have said this before, and I''m saying it again:



SEEING EACH OTHER BEFORE THE CEREMONY WILL NOT TAKE AWAY THE SPECIAL MOMENT!!!!!!!!! IT SIMPLY MOVES IT!



It''s all a matter of preference - do you want to have the special moment alone (photographers perhaps) or in front of family and friends? The benefit of seeing each other beforehand is you actually get to take him in and kiss him without being rushed into the ceremony, which is what I did.

No kidding! Why do people think that "the moment" is only special if you''re walking down the aisle? Seeing eachother for the first time is going to be a special moment no matter when it takes place, and I''d much rather get the pictures over with (and have a little alone time) before everything starts.

 

[jas]

I thank everyone for their responses. It is certainly a choice that many people seem to have very strong opinions about. I will take everything into consideration and sort it out. It was just an option I had honestly not heard of and was wondering what people''s experiences were.

Best,
Jackie

 

[njc]

Date: 6/20/2006 12:39:17 PM
Author: JCJD
Myself and others have said this before, and I'm saying it again:

SEEING EACH OTHER BEFORE THE CEREMONY WILL NOT TAKE AWAY THE SPECIAL MOMENT!!!!!!!!! IT SIMPLY MOVES IT!

It's all a matter of preference - do you want to have the special moment alone (photographers perhaps) or in front of family and friends? The benefit of seeing each other beforehand is you actually get to take him in and kiss him without being rushed into the ceremony, which is what I did.

Very well said JC!

I do not regret for one moment that DH and I had "the moment" in private before the ceremony and pictures afterwards. It was quiet, private and I got to touch/kiss him which was my first reaction when he walked into the room. I could talk to him!!!

I also have a friend that had their "moment" before hand and they took the time to pray together, which I know for her was a VERY special thing.

ETA: Our pics took 1 1/2 to 2 hours! We would have missed half our reception along with any members of the bridal party... no fun!

 

[jas]

I hear everyone''s opinions. As I said, it seems to be a hot topic. Please know I am having a very very bad week, and right now I just want to gather people''s experiences. I''m feeing a little shouted at right now, like I opened Pandora''s box. But please please please understand that I know I am a little emotional right now. No harm, no foul. I''m sure I''ll feel foolish posting this one in a few days.

For some people, that special moment in front of everyone is their dream, for others it''s nicer to have that moment in private.

What is nice is that most of you have had positive experiences either way. My fiance is out of town, and I will certainly pass along all of the pros and cons when he returns. Then together we will make that decision.

Cheers.

 

[Rebemdee]

I took the pics before and it was great. I wish we made more ceremony of him seeing me the first time. I'm glad we did photos first. Everybody relaxed, laughed, I got used to being in the dress before the reception, and I think our hair and makeup was at its best. I wouldn't have done it differently, except again making that first sight more special, like having the photographer there with just him and me.

The best time we had was right after the ceremony. It's Jewish tradition for the bride and groom to spend a few moments alone after the ceremony (I think it had other uses way back when, we used it to eat something!), and we had such a great time. Then the bridal party trickled in, the officiant came in, we did the marriage license, they bustled my dress, and off to the reception, which was on site. It was so nice to just crack up with him right after the ceremony and take it in that we were married.

 

[AChiOAlumna]

jas...first...sorry to hear you''re having a bad week...take a deep breath and do something nice for yourself....

Second...this is really a personal decision. My DH is a traditionalist and wanted to see me first as I walked down the aisle. I was fine with this. Actually, during the cocktail hour, while our guests were enjoying the music, food and drink, we had an opportunity to sneak out with our photographer onto the grounds to give us that "special time" after the wedding for a few minutes, while the photographer followed us around taking pictures.

By the time we finished, the guests were seated for dinner and upon our entrance, dinner was immediately served....

It worked for us....do what works for you & feel right for you....

 

[codex57]

My cousin did it at his wedding. One dress rehearsal without the gear. It''s not a big deal. Unless you''ve got some 20 foot train, your clothes aren''t gonna screw things up all that much.

I liked how they took pictures together before the ceremony. It actually was much less stressful. We did it the traditional way (pictures together in between the ceremony and reception) and it was really rushed, with the guests getting impatient, parents all pissed cuz we were too busy taking pictures of ourselves instead of their friends, etc.

 

[lovelylulu]

i agree that the decision to take photos before or after is completely a matter of personal preference. for some it''s convenience, for others it''s timing. for us personally, and maybe this makes sense only to us, these are our marriage photos and if we take them before we are *married* it seems odd. we want to wait until after the ceremony, when we are actually husband and wife -- but, we don''t have a huge list of portraits, so hopefully, we won''t entirely miss out cocktail hour

 

[flopkins]

It''s a totally personal decision.

Most who take pics before want to have a special moment before where it''s just them two (and the photographer) and they want to get all the pics done early while the makeups still fresh and so the reception can start immediately afterwards.

I sorta did a bit of both. I saw DH that morning, we had breakfast together (not dressed or made up or anything) alone, on a beautiful overlook.... it was so nice to have some time together before the madness and I felt a lot more grounded. Actually our pastor recommended that to us and I totally thank him for that.

We did picture afterwards... and made our guests wait. I didn''t want it that way, but that''s how the chapel times and reception times just worked out. Oh well.

Talk about it w/your FI, and think about what kind of timeline you''re going to have for the day - if your ceremony''s in the morning, I''d consider doing them after... photos are best in the later afternoon, around 4-5ish... bc of the lighting/sun. but it really depends.