Planning a wedding in a different state?

[Callisto]

So here''s the situation. SO and I have been together 3.5 years now and are planning to get engaged sometime in 2010... (or at least that''s what he''s led me to believe so let''s hope). We are both from the Chicago area and the majority of both of our families are from the midwest, however we are currently in Texas while SO finishes school. So the plan was to move back to the midwest after about one more year. Well now I''ve gone and applied to grad school here at the school he''s at (and where I work) and we will probably be here for another 2.5 years at minimum. I''m happy with this choice, but I can''t help wondering where in the world we''ll get married. I really don''t want to have a 2 year engagement so it would appear that we would get married while still living in Texas. However, I''d feel weird not getting married in Chicago and making all our friends and family travel across the country on our behalf.

So I guess I will be planning a destination wedding... in Chicago? Anyone else thinking they''ll have to plan a wedding far from where they are?

I guess I''m lucky I have amazing girlfriends in the midwest who will have to help with details... maybe I''ll just make them all maids of honor haha.

 

[ChloeTheGreat]

I live in Texas too! Yay!

I don''t even care about having a real "wedding" with a dress and people there to watch...I''d prefer just going to the Justice of the Peace. But my sweet guy wants a wedding, so we''ll have one. We want to get married in Vegas. (not the tacky kind of Vegas wedding with Elvis and all...probably going to happen at the Bellagio) I''m planning to only invite our parents, siblings, and grandparents. It is hard to figure out who to include and not include (aunts, uncles, cousins...?) so we''re keeping it as small as possible. We''re thinking Mid-2011, but we''ll see where life takes us.

It''s YOUR wedding, get married wherever you want!

Enjoy your stay in Texas.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Callisto, my fiance and I are getting married in my home state, which is not the same state we currently live in. My mom and sisters are going to do a lot of the legwork for me, and I'll be visiting periodically. The only big disadvantage I can see is that you just have to be more efficient in your decision-making and set up multiple meetings each day during your visits home. I think as long as you are organized, it is feasible. I hope your engagement happens this year!

 

[4ever]

BFs family lives in the UK, my family lives in New Zealand, as do we at the moment.

His mum has indicated she is not willing to make the trip out here, even, for a wedding, so I don''t know what we''ll do as we both want out parents present.

I try not to think about it, it''s a bit of a no-win situation really.

So I guess what I''m saying Callisto is; it could be worse.

 

[vc10um]

Callisto,

My FF and I live in the DC Metro area and we''re both originally mid-westerners. He''s from KC, MO and I''m from Ann Arbor, MI. His family is centered all around the KC area still, and my family and friends are spread to the four winds. So we''ll be getting married in KC, where I''ve only been twice now, lol. I just plan on making 2 long weekend trips out there about 10-12 months prior to the wedding to make all the big decisions, and then one more about 4-6 months before the wedding for detail purposes.

Chicago is a great place for weddings, and it sounds like you''ll have a lot of help there to scope things out while you''re away...best of luck to you!

~VC

 

[AustenNut]

Other people have planned out-of-state weddings, so I''m sure you''ll be able to too. I would think about hiring a wedding planner/coordinator so that the load doesn''t fall entirely on the shoulders of your mom and friends. Even if you just hire them at an hourly wage for consulting purposes (ie, telling her what type of wedding and budget you want to have and getting a list of names of appropriate vendors/venues so that your time in Chicago is most efficiently used instead of visiting places that will end up being something you''re totally not looking for).

 

[Callisto]

Chole- Vegas sounds fun! I wish we could do a small wedding but even with just semi-immediate families (including: grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) we''re at about 100 people UGH!!!! So much for intimate but there are a few cousins and aunts I couldn''t do without having there so it looks like the whole gang will be invited. I guess the one benefit of having it somewhere other than where I''m living is I don''t expect any coworkers or moderately good friends from Texas to come so at least it will only be my bestest friends.

MP- I WISH I had sisters who could help!!!! That would be a godsend! I highly doubt my 18 year old brother will want to help haha. If I can get him to attend in a non-wrinkly suit the day will be a success haha. Also I''m definitely organized so that will work to my advantage.

4ever- What a sticky situation... have two receptions??? I know a few people who got married to someone from another country and did this. Can''t argue with two parties haha.

vc10um- Yeah that sounds pretty similar to what I''ll have to do but I''m glad I have the advantage of having lived there my whole life. I have a friend who will probably get married around the same time as me in Chicago and I joked that she should just order two of everything when she''s planning and I''ll just have a carbon copy wedding haha. In reality even if that wasn''t a creepy idea it wouldn''t work since our tastes are SOOO different.

AN- That''s a great idea about a wedding planner for hourly consulting. I wouldn''t want a planner for the whole wedding as I''m a bit of a control freak and probably couldn''t handle someone I didn''t know being in charge of things. (I plan to ask a very reliable good friend to run the day of details as a wedding gift to me) but I like the idea of meeting with one to get ideas of what is in my budget and so forth.

 

[Pushin40]

I''m trying to plan a wedding in a dfifferent country! I now how ya feel!

Get a wedding planner.
Call "Who''s wedding Is It Anyway".

Enlist your friend''s help, like you said!.

People do this all the time. You''ll be OK!!

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I planned a wedding in North Dakota from Colorado

It can be done! I did have help from relatives when they offered it but for the most part I did a lot of it here in Colorado and my mom helped with a lot of stuff in North Dakota

I would say give yourself enough time to do it though! With phones and email anything is possible! Good luck

 

[jjdav]

Hi Callisto, I got married in Chicago as my ''destination wedding'' last June. My hubby is from Chicago so the bulk of his family is there, my parents live in Australia so it didn''t make sense for everyone to fly there, we currently live in California, it also didn''t make sense to have all the family come here. So we had a small wedding, and chose our family over our friends

My friends were not offended and threw us an engagement party instead!

My in-laws helped out a lot e.g. my mother-in-law found the flowers and the table decorations, my father-in-law was in charge of menu sampling. We ended up having our ceremony and reception at a great restaurant (no rental charges and no travel necessary!), there was a long story about trying to get married at the Botanical Gardens.

In any case, with all the technology nowadays, you can certainly do a lot without being there! I sent the bakery an email with a picture of the cake I liked and they replicated after Fedexing us a sample of their cake! I found my make up person through The Knot (I think), she was wonderful, very practical and knew exactly what I wanted!

We didn''t send out Save The Dates, we created a website for all the invitees, with updates and things, which saved a lot of paperwork, we just sent out update emails!

As you can see, there are lot of ways to recruit your family and friends to help you plan and perhaps even save some money!