Please check my invitation wording

[JR320]

I would love to have PSers critique my invitation wording/punctuation, etc. If there are any problems, I know you will find them! All of your examples were really helpful in putting this together. Please let me know what I''ve forgotten.

Invitation:

Together with their parents,
Bride Full Name
and
Groom Full Name
request the honor of your presence
at their wedding
Saturday, the seventeenth of October
two thousand nine
at half past four in the afternoon
Church of Christ
Eighth and Oak Streets
City, State


Reception Card:

Please join us for a Reception
immediately following the Ceremony
Name Country Club
319 Country Club Drive
City, State


RSVP Card:

The favor of a reply is requested
on or before September 17, 2009
Name(s) _______________________
___ of ___ happily accept
___ regretfully decline

 

[newsboysgrl777]

Date: 5/3/2009 8:24:11 PM
Author:JR320
I would love to have PSers critique my invitation wording/punctuation, etc. If there are any problems, I know you will find them! All of your examples were really helpful in putting this together. Please let me know what I've forgotten.

Invitation:

Together with their parents,
Bride Full Name
and
Groom Full Name
request the honor of your presence
at their wedding
Saturday, the seventeenth of October
two thousand nine
at half past four in the afternoon
Church of Christ
Eighth and Oak Streets
City, State


Reception Card:

Please join us for a Reception
immediately following the Ceremony
Name Country Club
319 Country Club Drive
City, State


RSVP Card:

The favor of a reply is requested
on or before September 17, 2009
Name(s) _______________________
___ of ___ happily accept
___ regretfully decline

JR I think this all looks wonderful! No glaring misspellings or grammar issues, the only thing I would change? I would say two thousand and nine. The only other thing I would suggest, but this is MERELY a matter of preference, is thinking about saying 'at four-thirty in the afternoon'...instead of 'half past four in the afternoon'...only because it sounds a little more wordy. BUT, maybe that is what you were going for...so by no means is this a criticism...just another option for you to consider!

All in all, I think it's perfect!! How do YOU feel about it?

Edit: I don't know if this is something or not...but I'm wondering if you should have a period after 'at their wedding' or not?? Does anyone else have any advice on this??

 

[Haven]

It is strange that you wrote the invitation in the first person point of view, and the reception card in the first person point of view. Is your wedding a formal event? If so, I would write the reception card in the third person, as well. (And if not, then I would rewrite the invitation to be less formal.)

 

[Haven]

I meant to say that it''s strange that the invite is written in third person, while the reception card is written in first.

 

[dreaming of the day]

Date: 5/3/2009 8:24:11 PM
Author:JR320
I would love to have PSers critique my invitation wording/punctuation, etc. If there are any problems, I know you will find them! All of your examples were really helpful in putting this together. Please let me know what I''ve forgotten.

Invitation:

Together with their parents,
Bride Full Name
and
Groom Full Name
request the honor of your presence
at their wedding
Saturday, the seventeenth of October
two thousand nine
at half past four in the afternoon
Church of Christ
Eighth and Oak Streets
City, State


Reception Card:

Please join us for a Reception
immediately following the Ceremony
Name Country Club
319 Country Club Drive
City, State


RSVP Card:

The favor of a reply is requested
on or before September 17, 2009
Name(s) _______________________
___ of ___ happily accept
___ regretfully decline

honor/favor: if you are using the American spelling than the year should read "two thousand and nine", if you use the more traditional british spelling honour/favour than the year should read "two thousand nine"

half past four in the afternoon: is correct it is informal to write out four thirty.

I agree that "please join us" doesn''t work with the invitation, I would prefer taking it right out or changing it into third person.

Hope this helps.

Oh one last thing I noticed: instead of Name(s)__________ on the reply card, put: M_________________ as this works for Mr. and Mrs., Mr., Miss, Ms. or Mrs. replying. And what is the "of" for? Are you putting the number of seats reserved for each invitation there or...?

 

[JR320]

Thanks so much for your feedback!

I agree, using 1st person point of view on the reception card isn''t consistent with the invitation. I will make revisions accordingly.

The reason I put "Name(s)" on the reply card was because I don''t want there to be any doubt as to what the line is for. All of our single friends/family will get an "and guest" and I want them to write the name of the guest they will bring. Many of my family members aren''t sharp with all this wedding/etiquette business. When my sister had her wedding a few years ago, we can all kinds of crazy things on the M______ line. So, that was my attempt to make it clearer.

Similarly, I used "___ of ____" because I wanted to write the number of guests invited on the second blank, so that they know to write in a number instead of just checking the box. I hope that won''t be offensive to anyone!

Thanks again!