Please help. I need eye makeup.

[kenny]

Forgive me for my hopelessly unwoke (as usual) stereotyping, but I figured that, statistically, women know more about makeup than men.
I thought, "Where can I find women?"
PS of course.

Recently I had eye surgery that was majorly invasive.
My surgeon says it's recovering well, but the surgery left me with a black eye, the most shocking black eye I've ever seen.
Worse, after the bruise had a few days to heal, a ring of color developed around the black.
The hue of this ring of skin is hard to describe but I'll try.
Looks like someone mixed, babysh!t, puke, urine, turmeric, and diarrhea from a jaundiced cat in a blender.

Lovely!
I look like a Halloween costume.
I'll spare you the pics.

I wouldn't give a crap, but I need to take an important picture soon.

I know less than zero about makeup.
How does one choose between the 74,247,687 trillion makeup brands/categories/types/choices/pricepoints, not to mention good skin color match?
Should I just buy something off the shelf at Target/CVS/Sephora/Nordstrum/Walmart when nobody's side-eying and thinking I'm a drag queen (not that there's anything wrong with that, but you know what they say, Fear springs eternal.)
Or are there retail establishments with competent makeup advisors for the totally ignorant man ... of course, not that there's any other kind of man.

Your 2 cents please.
TIA.

 

[Calliecake]

Hi Kenny, MAC cosmetics makes a concealer that can cover a bruise pretty well. They have a couple different types so talk to their beauty consultant. The consultant can also pick the perfect shade for your face and show you how to apply to best cover the bruise. MAC can be purchased at Macy’s or Nordstrom.

 

[Rfisher]

Have the photo itself touched up?

Covering a bruise with makeup will either be total opaque makeup or color correction tint.
Then matching it to the rest of your face, (both color and texture) or covering your whole face. Then there’s the lighting you put it on, in,
Vs the lighting the photo is taken in and if how they react differently.

I’d choose a make counter in a department store, or Sephora / Ulta and ask a consultant to help you choose something and try it out on you.
Rather than ruffling thru the shelves yourself to pick.

Will a photo retouch look more natural or will applied makeup look more natural?
Depends on who’s doing it?

 

[MissGotRocks]

For color matching, I would visit the cosmetic counter at a department store or go to Sephora or Ulta. They have personnel there that could help color match. Bruises, of course, go through several shades of healing so I would try to go as close to the day of your picture as possible. There are also under eye concealers that wouldn't necessitate you needing makeup for your whole face. Those concealers have colors that camouflage dark circles, green or blue under the eye (coming from veins, etc.), and redness - so those might be your better bet. Any of the aforementioned sources would be happy to help anyone I am sure - male or female! Good luck!

 

[Garnetgirl]

Have the photo itself touched up?



What a great idea - thinking outside the box!

 

[kenny]

Thanks, so far.
@Rfisher brilliant idea about doing this on Photoshop!

Forgot to say, I'm practicing saying, "Yeah, but you should see the OTHER guy!"

 

[Ibrakeforpossums]

Bruises/black eyes need a peach or salmon colored concealer. Beige or flesh-tone will show up as gray. Stage make up is probably best, go to Namies in the Valley.
Kevin Aucoin is coming back to haunt you.

 

[canuk-gal]

Hi:

@Rfisher suggestion was great. While you can masque bruises with "makeup" : application can require manual pressure in application and that doesn't help healing.

cheers--Sharon

 

[kenny]

Thanks so much.
So many smart suggestions.

Boy, you gals rock!

Uh Oh! ... wasn't woke ... I just triggered someone with the term "gal" and another with the term "boy".

There's just no hope for offense-free communication, is there.

 

[Ibrakeforpossums]

No hope at all.
MrCarPart's daughter is a they/them and I struggle and fail with the pronouns. I'm just grateful to not struggle with gender identity, it must be terribly difficult. I hope the world is getting kinder. That community brings so much to the table.

 

[Sunrises Sunsets]

Thanks so much.
So many smart suggestions.

Boy, you gals rock!

Uh Oh! ... wasn't woke ... I just triggered someone with the term "gal" and another with the term "boy".

There's just no hope for offense-free communication, is there.

Geez... what is a woke? Is that like a wake?

I think gal is a nice term. I also would do the photoshop bit and leave your poor eye heal. You'll be pretty again in no time and the nicest looking boy on the block.

 

[seaurchin]

Kenneth, what is all this?

With the unnecessary and somewhat provocative/offensive blather mocking "wokeness," first, keep in mind that's just you trying to reduce an intelligent position to its extreme, nonsensical fringe element. And that's just you acting like one person saying something to you that you didn't like is a major tenet within that intelligent position, when of course, it's not.

Someone saying they don't like being called a girl when they're middle-aged etc. is far from them being "triggered" anyway. It's actually just a chance to learn a little something, perhaps, and no big deal anyway. If anyone was "triggered" there, I'm pretty sure it was you.

And if people are frequently offended by your words, perhaps that's also your fault and not theirs. What's considered socially acceptable does change over thirty, fifty, seventy years, you know.

Before continuing that kind of derpy disparagement of "wokeness," you might at least consider where gay people were back when many more people actually were quite happily and ignorantly "asleep."

And, as far as wearing concealer to disguise a black eye, I don't think you need to worry about drag queens, women who think all males are ignorant or whatever that imaginary victim-ish nonsense was. In fact, you kinda sound like a gay incel or something and it's very confusing.

Moving on to the part of your post that sounds sane, I suggest going to one of the better makeup counters at the mall, at Macy's or Dillards or the like. The Lancome counter, or MAC, Estee Lauder, etc. Ask them to help you. They will help you pick a shade that matches your skin color well and actually try it on you and advise you.

It's pricier this way but you're far more likely to get something that does the job well, in my opinion. You might be surprised at how many different skin shades there are. When you get stuff at discount stores or the grocery store or whatever, it's maybe 1/2 or 1/4 the price of concealer at the mall makeup counter but there's also a good chance that what you pick will be noticeably different from your skin shade, or that the formula will be too thin to cover the discoloration well, or whatever. You can't try it on first there. You also wouldn't get the assistance from someone with expertise, so there's a fair to good chance that it wouldn't look well at all, in my opinion.

So, that's what I'd do.

 

[CMN]

@kenny getting the photo retouched will give the best result I think. Can you speak to the photographer in advance to discuss to what degree the image can be retouched, otherwise it might need to be a combination of retouching and makeup.

I definitely would not purchase off the shelf, you are going to struggle to get the right colour match. Mac is probably a good suggestion. I also really like Laura Mercier’s camouflage concealer. Go to the counter and talk to them and try their products. One option is to have this eye makeup done on the day of your photo by one of the counter makeup artists. Ask them about a booking (there will usually be a fee) but I suspect that this might be a better option for you as they can use multiple products to get the blend just right. This saves you have to purchase multiple products that may or may not be right for how the colour of the bruise has progressed and also takes the stress out of you trying to get the application/finish just right.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Thanks, so far.
@Rfisher brilliant idea about doing this on Photoshop!

Forgot to say, I'm practicing saying, "Yeah, but you should see the OTHER guy!"

Kenny i cant help but feel a bit sorry for your husband, i would hate people to think things
i get this awful puffy eye thing in one eye every now and then and it looks like someone gave me the biff - i think its allergy, becuase antihistimine helps
the last time it happened it looked really bad
but poor Gary hates going out when i look like that -in case someone thinks the worst....
(it doesnt hurt)
last time on the way to work one of my neighbours sat down beside me on the bus and put her arm around me and asked if i was allright -which was nice but i was horrified

but bruises fade and i hope the surgery was most successful
good luck with the photo

 

[missy]

Dermablend is amazing @kenny for complete coverage




Hope you are completely healed soon

 

[kenny]

Thank you all for your helpful advice.

I've taken the pic and photoshopped it myself.
I'm sure experts could do better, but IMO it's good enough for this requirement.

 

[Ibrakeforpossums]

You photographed yourself and you're not going to share it with us? Are you serious??

 

[kenny]

You photographed yourself and you're not going to share it with us? Are you serious??

You know me ... an over the top privacy/security freak.
Iris patterns are as identifying as fingerprints.
That's why I never use my fingerprint to log onto my devices.

https://le.fbi.gov/cjis-division/cjis-link/ngi-focuses-on-irises

Partial Snip:
The FBI’s Next Generation Identification (NGI) service provides a variety of investigative tools. The newest of them is an iris image repository that contains more than 1.7 million images. Each iris image is linked to a fingerprint record. Law enforcement agencies collect these images during criminal bookings, incarcerations, or other legal proceedings, then share them with the FBI.

An iris, the colored ring surrounding the pupil of the eye, is made up of intricate layers visible to the naked eye. These layers create distinct patterns that are unique to an individual—as distinctive as a person’s fingerprints. According to research, barring injuries or medical issues, iris patterns don’t normally change throughout a person’s life. So, technicians can use iris patterns to identify individuals using photos taken more than 20 years apart.

Am I being too paranoid?
Perhaps.

Sorry.

 

[Ibrakeforpossums]

Okay, photoshop the irises with marmosets' eyes. Blacken a couple teeth. Add warts to taste. We just want a glimpse of the talented and annoying kenny on Pricescope.

 

[kenny]

Sorry to annoy, but no will do.

 

[stracci2000]

Sorry to annoy, but no will do.

I think you showed your hand one time.
We were discussing kitchen utensils or something

 

[kenny]

I think you showed your hand one time.

I think you showed your hand one time.
We were discussing kitchen utensils or something

Okay.

As I've posted man times ...

When person A offers an example of an action of B's that is inconsistent to the stated position of person B, B can do #1 or #2 below.

1. Throw their hands up and say, well the rule is if I did it once I have to do it again.
2. Hunker down and say, well since I did that once and I now see it as bad I'm definitely not doing it again.

I'll take 2, this time.
What others choose is not my concern.

IOW, I have no obligation to be consistent, nor do I consider consistency something to be embraced.
We all are am free to do whatever e want, no guilt, no shame - as long as we do not harm others.

 

[Karl_K]

Thank you all for your helpful advice.

I've taken the pic and photoshopped it myself.
I'm sure experts could do better, but IMO it's good enough for this requirement.

Did you check and see if that was ok?
Submitting altered photos for some work things can result in getting fired and for some government things its a felony.

 

[kenny]

Thanks Karl.
Yes, this is not that.

 

[stracci2000]

Okay.

As I've posted man times ...

When person A offers an example of an action of B's that is inconsistent to the stated position of person B, B can do #1 or #2 below.

1. Throw their hands up and say, well the rule is if I did it once I have to do it again.
2. Hunker down and say, well since I did that once and I now see it as bad I'm definitely not doing it again.

I'll take 2, this time.
What others choose is not my concern.

IOW, I have no obligation to be consistent, nor do I consider consistency something to be embraced.
We all are am free to do whatever e want, no guilt, no shame - as long as we do not harm others.

Eek, Kenny.
I was just kidding

 

[Ally T]

You know me ... an over the top privacy/security freak.
Iris patterns are as identifying as fingerprints.
That's why I never use my fingerprint to log onto my devices.

https://le.fbi.gov/cjis-division/cjis-link/ngi-focuses-on-irises

Partial Snip:
The FBI’s Next Generation Identification (NGI) service provides a variety of investigative tools. The newest of them is an iris image repository that contains more than 1.7 million images. Each iris image is linked to a fingerprint record. Law enforcement agencies collect these images during criminal bookings, incarcerations, or other legal proceedings, then share them with the FBI.

An iris, the colored ring surrounding the pupil of the eye, is made up of intricate layers visible to the naked eye. These layers create distinct patterns that are unique to an individual—as distinctive as a person’s fingerprints. According to research, barring injuries or medical issues, iris patterns don’t normally change throughout a person’s life. So, technicians can use iris patterns to identify individuals using photos taken more than 20 years apart.

Am I being too paranoid?
Perhaps.

Sorry.

I’s so funny you should mention about the iris’s, as Mr T & I were literally talking last night about when we flew into JFK back in 2007, and we had to have iris scans done at security. Never happened before or since. It was the weirdest thing, but now I wonder if the FBI have our iris images stored somewhere without our consent?!

 

[Amber St. Clare]

Kenny, for swelling try a cold, wet tea bag or cucumber slices on the eye for 15 minutes or so. It usually help me.

 

[kenny]

Eek, Kenny.
I was just kidding

Sorry.

... another example of why I suspect I'm somewhere on the Asperger's spectrum.
I'm no stranger to misreading people, especially online.
I suspect it's related to the absence of in-person visual cues like facial expressions and eye contact, and the absense of important vocal inflection and tone in the written word.

Asperger syndrome - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

That said, I notice people very often call out others for their inconsistencies if being inconsistent is a sin, and they are are not joking.
It's a prominent value, at least in my culture.

I have attended 2 or 3 in-person PS GTGs in Vegas.
Today, you couldn't get me to do that ... even at gunpoint.

Being free in ways not often socially acceptable is a huge priority to me.
So I'm a jumpy snowflake when I sense I might be challenged on this important personal freedom.

Again, sorry.

 

[jordyonbass]

Instead of concealing it, go the other way and extend the black eye to a pointy star. Then do the other eye the same, paint the rest of your face white and turn yourself into the 5th member of KISS!!

 

[kenny]

HAHAHA!