Please tell me if this is a bad idea!

[Keepingthefaith21]

I have two friends who will be getting married in May. Yesterday they were blindsided with the final bill for their venue which contained approximately $3K in overages. As a result the bride was telling me that they were going to have to cancel their videographer.

Among our group of friends there have been some rumblings because the bride and groom have asked for only money at their shower and wedding and not everyone can afford to give a good sized monetary gift at the shower and the wedding. So, I was thinking of seeing if all our friends would be willing to contribute to a “pot” which we would use to pay for the videographer. This way all of the friends can contribute whatever they can comfortably afford and there is no burden to feel like they need to give more just so they do not come off as “cheap” AND we get to help our friends commemorate their wedding day.

Do you guys think this is a good idea? I don’t want to do anything that may anger the bride and groom to be but I also want to help them to have everything they want on their big day.

 

[nclrgirl]

It''s a GIFT. You can get them whatever you want, regardless of what they asked for.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Hmm. Okay, so I guess you want to walk the line between making them feel like it''s charity and making it a gift. How bad do they want a videographer? If they want it that bad, then I would make sure everyone is going to contribute and get everything settled. Then tell the Bride and Groom together than you are all contributing to hire a videographer as your gift to them. I don''t really see anything wrong with that. How is that any different than when your friend photographs your wedding? I think it''s okay as long as it doesn''t make them uncomfortable.

 

[hopefulheidi]

I know I personally would be incredibly bummed if we had to cancel our videographer and having all of my friends go in on the cost of the videographer for me would be an AWESOME gift and one that keeps giving in my opinion. At this point I really don''t want any more crap for my house but I''ve been pressured into registering so I''d really love something that I 1) obviously really wanted and 2) couldn''t afford on my own.

~Heidi

 

[karasue91]

hmmm is there any way you can talk to the MOH or someone close to the wedding planning process? if they are going over on their budget, they might appreciate the money to just help pay for wedding expenses. maybe they weren''t super attached to the idea of a videographer in the first place, so that was the first thing they thought to cut.

i think i would just try to get some insight as to what the couple might prefer...if they are really upset about losing the videographer, i think it would be a great idea!!!

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 4/2/2008 1:38:42 PM
Author: karasue91
hmmm is there any way you can talk to the MOH or someone close to the wedding planning process? if they are going over on their budget, they might appreciate the money to just help pay for wedding expenses. maybe they weren''t super attached to the idea of a videographer in the first place, so that was the first thing they thought to cut.

i think i would just try to get some insight as to what the couple might prefer...if they are really upset about losing the videographer, i think it would be a great idea!!!

Ditto.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Karasue91 - I spoke with the bride to be last night. She is very upset that they have had to cut out the videographer. She was near tears when she said, "well, I guess I don''t have to have a video of the best day of my life, right?".

That''s why I started to think about doing this for them. They have had to cut out so many items from centerpieces to one of their entree choices and this is the one we can definately afford as a group.

My wheels are just turning on it. I haven''t etched anything in stone yet. Thank you so much for your feedback!!!

 

[LegacyGirl]

I think it''s a sweet idea. I hope it works out.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 4/2/2008 1:54:28 PM
Author: Keepingthefaith21
Karasue91 - I spoke with the bride to be last night. She is very upset that they have had to cut out the videographer. She was near tears when she said, ''well, I guess I don''t have to have a video of the best day of my life, right?''.


That''s why I started to think about doing this for them. They have had to cut out so many items from centerpieces to one of their entree choices and this is the one we can definately afford as a group.


My wheels are just turning on it. I haven''t etched anything in stone yet. Thank you so much for your feedback!!!

Oh yeah I say go for it, then.

 

[bee*]

I would mention it to her beforehand but I think that it''s an amazing idea-I''d be so happy if my friends did something like that.

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 4/2/2008 1:54:28 PM
Author: Keepingthefaith21
Karasue91 - I spoke with the bride to be last night. She is very upset that they have had to cut out the videographer. She was near tears when she said, ''well, I guess I don''t have to have a video of the best day of my life, right?''.

That''s why I started to think about doing this for them. They have had to cut out so many items from centerpieces to one of their entree choices and this is the one we can definately afford as a group.

My wheels are just turning on it. I haven''t etched anything in stone yet. Thank you so much for your feedback!!!

I think it''s a very thoughtful idea. How would you bring it up with the bride and groom? Would you look into videographers before hand or just mention to your friends that you''d like to pay for one? Just curious.

 

[sera]

Since it is something they want, I think it''s a very sweet and thoughtful idea.

 

[anchor31]

I think it''s a super sweet idea.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 4/2/2008 8:19:16 PM
Author: anchor31
I think it''s a super sweet idea.

Ditto! Very thoughtful.

 

[miraclesrule]

Ditto, Ditto, Ditto. A very generous and thoughtful friend you are...