Possible change in our wedding plans...

[SuLi]

Hi everyone!

My FI and I were planning on getting married this October. The original idea was that we were going to elope in Hawaii (just the two of us) -- go to a resort, choose a wedding package, and stay for our honeymoon. The wedding would be just the two of us (something that our family and friends are okay with), but we would do the "wedding" thing of dressing up (wedding dress, etc). I've chosen my wedding dress, but have yet to order it, and already have our wedding bands ready. We sat down recently to seriously plan the logisitics, and realized that the cost for the wedding would be a lot higher than what we were anticipating.

The other seriously dorky thing that was not an issue until recently is that we may have to post-pone the wedding until next year (spring) because I work in the political field and October this year is crunch time for us (something to do with selecting our next president....hehe....in a sarcastic mood today).

So, I threw out the idea of us getting married locally (city hall), going to the nicest restaurant in DC afterwards, and travelling to Europe for our honeymoon (Prague and Paris). We figure that even with the weak dollar, we can still have a really great time for less than what we would have spent in Hawaii. However, that means, doing away with the wedding dress, playing dress up part.

I was wondering if anyone here did the "city hall" thing and whether they regret not getting married more formally? I've never been the type of girl who, since the age of 6, knew what her wedding would look like. Even now, having tried on dresses, I still have a hard time believing it. But, I worry that if we don't (seeing how we are essentially eloping), I might regret it -- not having the pictures to look back on. I have never "dressed" up for my FI in our nine years together (meaning formally, and what not), and I thought it would be great to glam up for him. But alternatively, I guess I could just find a really great dress for a nice dinner afterwards and for Europe -- thinking a really lovely, dress up dinner in Paris.

I'm seriously torn, and I'm not sure what to do, and would love to hear what you guys think.

Thanks!

 

[partyjewels]

Why not do the city hall thing with the dressing up bit too? Theres no rule that says you can''t be dressed up for it, right?

 

[surfgirl]

Either option seems great to me! And yes, eloping but having a "mini wedding" with all the wedding elements can be as expensive as a small wedding...I know we spent ALOT on our mini wedding elopement. I dont regret it for one minute but I know it can indeed add up! That said, your PLan B sounds wonderful...I think you should go to your City Hall and see what it looks like. I remember neatfreak's photos of SF's City Hall and that building is just gorgeous! And it's a "free venue" so why not? And if the DC City Hall isn't so great, look at other local City Halls until you find one that's to your liking.

As for the dress, you can go to David's and get a dress for $99. or you can get a dress on Ebay for even less. I wouldn't give up the dress for financial reasons, just find a dress that is inexpensive. J.Crew has great classic wedding dresses for well under $500 (I think most are under $300). Nordstrom's has options for under $300-400, and Target has really nice Isaac Mizrahi dresses and I believe some are as low as the $100-150 range. You can totally have your proverbial "cake" and eat it too! We'll help you find an inexpensive dress..just show us what you like...

ETA: With all due respect to those brides who married in Hawaii...I think a honeymoon in Paris and Prague sounds way WAY more romantic!

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 1/7/2008 12:26:36 PM
Author:SuLi

So, I threw out the idea of us getting married locally (city hall), going to the nicest restaurant in DC afterwards, and travelling to Europe for our honeymoon (Prague and Paris). We figure that even with the weak dollar, we can still have a really great time for less than what we would have spent in Hawaii. However, that means, doing away with the wedding dress, playing dress up part.

Why? It seems to me you can do all the things listed above AND still do the dress up thing!

I didn''t do the city hall thing, but my husband did for his first marriage. He said it felt more like going in to register his car than to get married.....and that''s coming from a man!
Let me make a suggestion: don''t get married at the courthouse or at City Hall; there are a TON of gorgeous spots around the DC area. Take a JP with just the two of you and go to a local park or perhaps the Tidal Basin area in DC and do it there! You can both dress up and have it be just you and him and the officiant. If you think photos might be important to you after the fact, you can bring a photographer with you.

This gives you the best of all worlds; you get to elope and feel like it''s a special occurrence without the prohibitive expense. You can still do the dinner you wanted and perhaps splurge on a nice suite to stay in the City overnight.

Be creative; you don''t have to sacrifice if you use a bit of imagination!

 

[SuLi]

Thanks for all the advice....I appreciate it!

I think what we might do is get married in city hall, and then hire a photographer to take photos of us around the different monuments in DC. Maybe we can do it next spring when the cherry blossoms are in bloom! I think I might forgo the traditional "wedding dress" (which means saying goodbye to the Nicole Miller I had settled on) in the pictures and just buy a nice dress that I can take with me for two separate romantic dinners in Paris and Prague, but one that would look nice if we had pictures taken of us.

What do you guys think of this BCBG dress: http://www1.bloomingdales.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=102757&CategoryID=5563&PseudoCat=b.comSearch&PageID=http%3A%2F%2Fsearch%2Ebloomingdales%2Ecom%2Fexec%2F%3Fall%3Du1%26pdp%5Fnav%3D1%26u1%3Dq%26land%3D1%26q%3DBCBG%2BDresses%26n%3D18

I fell in love with it a few weeks ago shopping with my friend in NYC, and saw it again this past weekend. It''s very much my style (or how I imagine my style would be), and I think nice enough for a romantic dinner.

I would love suggestions too!

Thanks again!

 

[FacetFire]

I really like that idea! I am in the DC area too, have you considered Meridan Hill Park for a ceremony? That would be gorgeous!

Here are some other dress ideas too:
http://www.neimanmarcus.com/store/catalog/prod.jhtml?itemId=prod47640026&parentId=cat10040735&masterId=cat10140732&index=5&cmCat=cat000000cat000001cat000111cat000131cat10040734cat10140732cat10040735

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/2920434/0~2376776~2374327~2374331~6001765~6001775?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6001775&P=2

http://www.whitehouseblackmarket.com/store/product.asp?PID=300108467

http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/productdetail.jsp?_dyncharset=ISO-8859-1&_dynSessConf=-12664959090388789&id=73631&parentid=APP_DRESSES_TOTHENINES&pushId=APP_DRESSES_TOTHENINES&popId=APPAREL&sortProperties=&navCount=3&navAction=jump&fromCategoryPage=true&selectedProductSize=&selectedProductSize1=&color=gol

http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/productdetail.jsp?_dyncharset=ISO-8859-1&_dynSessConf=-12664959090388789&id=730136&parentid=APP_DRESSES_TOTHENINES&pushId=APP_DRESSES_TOTHENINES&popId=APPAREL&sortProperties=&navCount=7&navAction=jump&fromCategoryPage=true&selectedProductSize=&selectedProductSize1=&color=bla

And I don''t know if you''ve ever been to this store http://www.gossypia.com/ but they have a great selection of destination type wedding dresses upstairs. There are some by Sue Wong that are amazing.

Good luck!