Possibly dumb question re: current wedding set

[DesiLu]

Alrighty...I have a question which may be considered "dumb" by many standards; however, I figure if I don''t ask, I''ll never know!

My current set consists of all princess-cut stones. I had requested all round-cuts, when I was told (by my now-husband) to give him a long "sparkly-list" of what I might want as an engagement ring.

He listened to *nothing* I said, and pretended as though my "list" wasn''t received, apparently!! I received a 3-stone princess-cut, as an engagement ring; but what I *really* wanted was a 3-stone round! I also asked for a Trellis setting and I didn''t get that either.

And since I''m kind of anal, and everything has to "match" perfectly, I had no choice but to pick a princess-cut wedding band--I''m just not a princess-cut type of gal! And he thought it would be cute because he said he got "princess cuts for his princess"...yes, I know, "Awe!" But, THAT''S NOT WHAT I WANTED!!!!!

Come to find out, recently, that due to the daily 24/7 wear, I''m allergic to the nickel in the white gold. (I''ve only ever owned platinum jewelry--never white gold, so I wasn''t aware of this little fact!) Today, my finger decided to give up and swell immensely and blister up something horrid. Naturally, I was VERY upset and started to look into viable options.

I called my "new" jeweler and he said I can either re-plate with rhodium (which I do not want to do), re-set in yellow gold (not sure if I''d go that way or not) or go platinum.
At this point in time, platinum isn''t an option because of other unexpected expenses which we''re having to shoulder---very VERY costly expenses.

My question is this: Is it at all possible to take my current set to a jeweler and offer it up as a "trade-in" or "put towards" a totally different set or even just the engagement ring--as I have two bands I could use in the meantime.

Mind you, this would (hopefully) be the PERFECT time to sort of upgrade, as I''d like a bit bigger stones *or* one solitaire which would be larger than what I''ve got now (total weight on e-ring is 1.13ct, therefore my center is rather "small" and I''d love to have however much bigger I can go, with just a ROUND solitaire, if possible). My w-ring has a total of .50ct princess cuts--7 stones. I''m the type of gal that as long as it''s eye-clean, that''s fine by me; so I think that gives me more options if I want to go with a round solitaire, with regards to getting more bang for the buck, you know?! (I am a tad-bit on the color-sensitive side, however!)

Rather, is this a perfectly normal question I could pose to my (or any other) jeweler? Or would it be sort of offensive to the jeweler? Mind you, this would be a totally different jeweler than the ones who made my e-ring and w-ring.

Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated!!

Thank you all, in advance!!

 

[neatfreak]

It''s possible...but the chances are very slim that they would take it and give you anything NEAR what it''s worth. It''s worth a shot...but just know it''s a long shot.

You COULD try consigning it at Pearlman''s jewelers (pearlmansjewelers.com). They take a very small cut, but you would still take a considerable loss on the ring most likely.

 

[Elise]

Sounds like there might also be emotional issues to be considered here. It''s quite unfortunate that your hubby did not pick out something according to your specifications, but it does sound like he put effort into buying what he thought was a great ring. Is he ok with you upgrading it or changing the whole ring so soon?

I don''t think jewelers would take in diamonds not purchased from them. Even if they do, I don''t think you would be able to get anything close to what you paid for it. Have you considered asking the original jeweler if they have an upgrade policy?

 

[DesiLu]

I agree with the fact that I''m not going to get nearly what my husband paid for them in the first place (thanks to *going on* six years visiting Pricescope on a daily basis--but not posting)...and I''m prepared to hear the worse, but still hope for the best; whatever that might be!

About the sentimental value: he has told me, in the past, that he *never* wanted me to upgrade; however, he has come to terms with the fact that I''m a Pricescope junkie and would want to eventually upgrade. He made it clear that he knows I''ve *never* been happy with the shapes of the stones and that now that we found out about the nickel content; it would be a viable time for a change, at the very least.

I''m going to see my jeweler today sometime to ask him about this. The reason I''m thinking of actually vocalizing these thoughts are because I have a tennis bracelet which I wanted to recycle into an eternity ring and he agreed that for the tcw that I was wanting, the diamonds on my bracelet are too large; but he could take more than half of them and put them towards smaller, more well-cut diamonds. Mine are all eye-clean (even at 10x), but they are too big for what I was wanting at the time.

I have no clue whom he bought the e-ring from...all I know is that it''s an online vendor, and I can''t make out the stamp in the ring (starts with a P, but the rest has faded). However I picked out my w-ring, but do not care to deal with them again; so I have an issue with going back to them and asking about their upgrade policy.

We found our "new" jeweler about a month ago and he has become quite familiar with my "diamond nut" side and has been quite accomodating with another project, of mine, which he''s working on and should be ready today sometime.

If worse comes to worst, I will contact a jeweler for consignment, as Neatfreak suggested.

 

[surfgirl]

I feel for you since I love my ring and picked it out myself. And I''m rather anal about certain things too so...As long as your hubby isn''t offended, I''d have an honest discussion with your new jeweler and express what you do not like about this current set, and what you really want. Do you have your current set appraised? Because if not, I wouldn''t even show it to him until you have a reasonable replacement cost appraisal. Otherwise you''re likely to get low-balled. Having said that, I found that a lot of smaller B&M shops were more than willing to trade up my diamond studs when I was looking to upgrade last year. One place was going to give me a very good price so long as I upgraded in their store. Anyway, be honest with your jeweler. Though if you have a lot of expenses right now, it doesn''t seem like the best time to upgrade...Can you wear your other rings for the time being and start deciding what you really want and how much it''ll cost? So when you''re ready to pull the trigger you know exactly what you want. A 3-stone trellis setting is pretty easy to find so I think you shouldn''t have a problem with that. Good luck!

 

[monarch64]

Have you thought about selling your rings privately? Sort of the same as selling a car privately instead of trading it. You might be able to get a higher dollar amount selling it that way by advertising it in your local paper or on the internet, honestly, if you don''t want to lose too much money. If you do go that route, just take it to your jeweler and have it polished and cleaned really well, and have the paperwork together for it if you''re willing to go through that process. If you trade it or consign it you may lose a lot of what you originally paid for it.

I''m confused, if you''re allergic to white gold how are you not allergic to rhodium? Just curious as I suffer from a nickle allergy myself. And if platinum is not in the budget right now, how is upgrading your stones? Sorry, once again I''m just curious, I don''t mean to offend you at all. I was just thinking that if you could sell your existing set and maybe purchase something new from a company who does trade-ins or upgrades you''d be better off getting a smaller ideal stone in platinum with a plain band and then upgrading again later to get what you really, really want. Hope that makes sense.

 

[DesiLu]

UPDATE!!

Firstly, I''d like to thank everyone who posted a response--thank you for taking the time to do so, I sincerely appreciate everyone!!

Secondly: I went to my jeweler yesterday morning (couldn''t wait any longer for a straight answer) and, little did I know that my husband had the e-ring appraised before he even put it on my finger, and he faxed the paperwork over to my jeweler (whom is also an independent appraiser, himself).

With that said, my jeweler looked at the w-ring and appraised it...told me to come back that afternoon.

After work, I went by there and was pleasantly surprised when he said he''d do an even-Steven swap and told me to pick from seven choices.

I jumped up and down when one of those choices was an A. Jaffe platinum e-ring from the signature collection!!! So, I picked that one!!!!!!!

It''s a 1.00ct center with .70tcw sides (all princess-cuts----I decided to keep the same shape of the stones, because I figured my husband might feel more "at ease" that I still picked the same shaped stones he did; plus I thought they looked AWESOME in this setting!!! (Specs to come later, as I just ran out of there without the paperwork, by accident!!!)
It has three bead-set rounds going down each side and there are six, total, bezel-set surprise diamonds--three on each side of the gallery!!!

She''s in a "bath" right now, as I would like to clean her up before shooting any pics to post here!! (Not to mention, my camera needs chargin'')

However, I am currently wearing it with a not-so-greatly cut 2mm eternity band that I have had for several years now (prong-set and bothers the two fingers around it) but RARELY ever wear. It looks like a perfect match with my new baby!!!!

I did all this without hubby being there, so naturally I was a bit "afraid" of showing it to him; as this one has a 1.00ct center and my original e-ring had a .51ct center; I thought he might feel a little offended that this one is considerably (and, of course, very much VISIBLY) larger.

But, as soon as he walked in the door (at home, that is) the first thing he said was, "Alright, let''s see it!!!" I showed him and he did a "cartoon-esque" eyes popping out of sockets and he couldn''t get a word out of his mouth to save his life!!

Long story short; he took me out to dinner, to celebrate my "upgrade" and he said he was perfectly happy with what I chose and that he was very much relieved that I still chose princess cuts, as that''s what he''s wanted me to have since day one. So, all is well at the Walker household (thank GOD!!!)!

Once again, thank you all SO, VERY much!! I don''t know what I''d do without Pricescope and all the wonderful people herein!! (Not to mention the AWESOME-BLOSSOM eye-candy!!!) I''m so glad I came out of my five-year "lurkedom" state, in order to post!!

 

[neatfreak]

Desi, I am very happy that your jeweler was able to make YOU happy.

But...and I'm sorry there even needs to be a but...

Why was he willing to trade you evenly for a number of rings? And one with a 1ct center when your other one was a .51? Just doesn't seem to add up. Please take that new ring AND your old paperwork for the other one to an INDEPENDENT (and that means that they DO NOT sell jewelry) appraiser and have it appraised. Just to make sure that everything is ok with this trade. Make sure to get a value for the new ring from the appraiser to make sure the guy didn't screw you over with the trade.

The only explanation I can come up with is that he traded you a stone with a much worse cut and/or clarity and color...which will really affect the sparkle factor. OR, and I assume that this didn't happen because you trust this jeweler, but that you now own a CZ or a clarity enhanced stone, or something like that.

It sounds a bit suspicious to me...

 

[surfgirl]

I have to echo neatfreak. I read your post and when I got to the even-Steven part my warning detector went off. Nobody in the business is going to go an even trade "just because"...Please, find a good independent appraiser - like NF said, one who does NOT sell any stones or jewelery of any kind, and get it appraised poste haste! Then please let us know what the appraiser says. Keeping in mind this new jeweler "gave" you an extra 1.27 cts of diamonds for "free"? Doesn''t add up.

 

[rockzilla]

That does seem quite suspect...maybe the husband secretly gave the jeweler a budget so she could pick out what she wanted?

 

[pyramid]

DesiLu

I am glad that you are happy. I think like the others that unless the larger stone is a lot lower in colour and clarity or cut, then your husband must have had a word with the jeweller and put up the budget. A jeweller would not be able to make his business work if he was giving away 1.27 carat of free diamonds.

 

[DesiLu]

Thank you guys for your concern!! I guess I need to re-think my "I trust everyone" position, now that I read everyone''s comments!

Either way, I panicked and told DH what I read and after trying to calm me down, he pulled a receipt out and showed me he paid $3780.67 (don''t quote me on the cents; I was just too relieved to take a memory picture of the entire amount) plus my set (he showed me the, yes, independent appraisal for that as well--he kept a copy for us--(original was in my MIL''s safety deposit box but had to retrieve in order for the jeweler to honor it, obviously--which he did), and now I know I wasn''t cheated!

All in all, it wasn''t an "even" trade, as I originally thought. DH said he felt bad because I was never happy with the original rings, so he decided to try and "pull one over on me" without my knowing. Apparently, when the jeweler asked me to "come back in the afternoon", it was because DH was retrieving the paperwork and taking it over to the jeweler, while at the same time the jeweler kept an eye on which rings I admired the most, so that DH could have a basis of what he might have to pay in difference.

And, ONCE AGAIN, like the dummy that I am, I''m at work and didn''t bring the specs of the new stones with me to post here!!! All I remember is that the center is a 1.02 F/VS2, and the sides are D''s--so now *that''s* bugging me and I keep staring at it--searching for the color difference!!!! I also don''t think the center is the *best* cut, (I think it looks small for a one carat)--as most everyone here knows, the stone did not come with the semi-mount but was already set in there before it was put out on display-- but I''m happy overall and I think I should leave well enough alone for now!! (I''ve not had time to shoot any pics, either, but will do it ASAP.)


Hope this makes sense--I think I might have made it more confusing than not!

 

[Sundial]

We would love to see pictures of your new ring!!!

 

[DesiLu]

Hi, everyone...

I felt I needed to post again since I never posted any pics of the A. Jaffe ring.

I am *extremely* embarrassed to say that I have since returned the A. Jaffe and retrieved my old (original) set back, along with the funds my husband had "pitched in" to the pot.

At first, I LOVED the ring--who wouldn''t!...The center stone was visibly larger, of course (albeit, the specs weren''t as great as my original rings--and that was one of things that bothered me A LOT), the dang thing had six surprise diamonds total--three on each side of the gallery; the band itself had three bead-set stones on each side...of course, the A. Jaffe signature with the teensy-itty-bitty signature diamond as well.

The more I wore it, the more I realized I missed my original set. I noticed when my husband would glance down at my hand, the dissapointment was evident in his face--although he refrained from saying anything.

Finally, I got the courage to tell my husband (risking an "I TOLD you so", which, luckily, never came) that I wanted my original set back (his eyes lit up like the sun). He told me to get the courage to call the jeweler and ask him if he, per chance, still had my rings. He DID have them and was VERY accomodating with everything!!

I went by there that same afternoon--he gave me my rings without any problems (told me, "Ah, don''t worry--these things happen!", as I was VERY embarrassed upon my arrival there)...he returned every cent of the money my husband had thrown into the pot, to boot!!

So, all in all, we''re VERY happy now (hubby and I)...I feel SO much better!

Also want to add: I never took any pics of the A. Jaffe, to post here, because I''d had doubts about my "feelings toward the ring" since about three days after I was wearing it and was trying to "get used to it"--to no avail. I think deep down inside I thought, "Why post pics if you know you''re going to return it?". I even avoided wearing the ring--and would only wear a plain 3mm band!!! Hubby noticed *that* and would always ask, "Why aren''t you wearing your diamonds??" I''d usually say it was because my fingers were swollen or "it''s in the cleaning solution" or "oops, I forgot to put it back on, after I put lotion on my hands".

I''d like to thank you guys for "putting up with me" and, hopefully, for being understanding about the whole situation!!

I realize many of you might think I''m absolutely NUTS for having returned the A. Jaffe (at first I thought it was crazy-talk as well), but, until now, I hadn''t realized how much sentimental value I had put on the original set.

I felt like a total idiot, after having talked hubby into "upgrading" and all the schmoozing I did...but, luckily he was more than happy for me to get my original rings back and didn''t say a word about any of it!

Thank ya''ll for "listening"!!!

 

[Clio]

Lucy, don''t feel bad! I think it''s sweet that you are so attached to your original ring.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I can understand your feelings completely. My husband didn''t really want me to get my original rings reset, and I certainly wouldn''t have been able to trade them in. But he did get me a new set (which I picked out) for an anniversary and just kept the old set. You could always turn the current stones into a right hand trellis ring and get a new upgradeable round solitaire e-ring. I didn''t see this thread when you originally posted, but I was worried that you''d become dissatisfied with the new ring because the stones maybe weren''t the greatest cut. Once you''re on PS awhile, you really end up with high expectations!