post-wedding "changes"?

[sumbride]

I just made my hair appointment to get my highlights done this weekend and it made me think... maybe after the wedding I''ll go brunette? This is SO bizarre for me because I''ve been blonde all my life, even when I had to pay for it, but something in me just feels ready for a CHANGE. Maybe because I just turned 30, maybe because of the wedding... I can''t decide. I feel like I''ll want a "new look" to go with my new last name. My hair color has been a big part of my identity for a long time now... can a girl named Summer go brunette? I have no idea.

I haven''t run this by FI yet, and I imagine it will shock him! I also haven''t completely decided...

Anybody else contemplating some kind of "alteration" after the wedding?

 

[AmberWaves]

I''m thinking of changing it NOW before the wedding! I want some lighter highlights, since my hair is pitch black, and I''m very pale.

I figure it will help me lighten my look for the pictures. After the wedding I''m thinking of cutting it all off, it''s about waist length right now.

 

[sumbride]

Amber, my hair stylist threatened to cut mine off last time I visited! I said "NO! Not before the wedding!!!" Mine isn''t remotely as long as yours, but it has gotten to "wedding length" and I''m getting annoyed with it. Maybe after I get it shaped tomorrow I won''t feel that way about the length.

If you do color it before, just make sure you have time to fix any mistakes!

 

[TravelingGal]

Don''t do it right after! It will freak him out! LOL. Guys are so afraid that after marriage things will change that he will panic if he sees something so blunt. I had guy friends who all complained that after the wedding their wives chopped off their hair. I told him that was probably because most brides grow out their hair longer than usual for updos and such.

My guy friends said first the hair changes...then the ____ stop...

And you look so pretty as a blonde, why change? Don''t you gals have more fun?

 

[sumbride]

That''s a good point TG... I can see him saying "I married a blonde, but now look at her..." I''ll try not to do anything drastic and maybe the urge will pass. Treat it as "temporary insanity" maybe?

 

[decodelighted]

DON''T DO IT!!!!!!!

Seriously, read up on the issue first. It''s VERY COMMON for women who go through big changes or traumas even to make huge physical changes in their apperance -- as almost stress relief or, in some cases, self-mutilation!

I grew my hair out longer than it''s ever been for the wedding and had the urge to chop away right after BUT decided to wait it out for awhile. A) I didn''t want to be a walking cliche

B) I wanted to see if the urge would pass C) DH really likes my hair long. We met when it was much shorter, so I know he likes me that way too -- but I''m taking his feelings to heart (at least for now --

).

This might be a way of planning how you''ll manage the anxiety of being married. Not having a project to do. Going through post-wedding blues. There are other ways you can plan for. I signed up for a class that started the day we got back from our mini-moon. That REALLY helped!!!

 

[Selkie]

On the other hand, why not? I wouldn''t exactly call going from blonde to brunette a huge physical change, and it''s not like you can''t go back (eventually). I''d start slow though. Are you thinking deep brunette, or light? I think you''d look GREAT with light brown hair, with blonde or red highlights. Maybe just warn him first?

I''ve been thinking about going more auburn (I have reddish blond hair), but I ran it by J first. He likes the idea, but I think that''s because some guys can be a little shallow about redheads and blondes

. Plus he really likes Addison on Grey''s Anatomy.

 

[So_happy]

I''ve worn highlights in my brunette hair forEVER (mostly to hide the grays since I was 23!!) and I think they look great but for the wedding, I''m actually going to my natural dark brunette color (and make sure to get it done a week before so no grays are coming in). I figure that''s one way to make sure I don''t look dated in pics....just keep it "natural" lol.

I''d say start with a blondish brown first and see how you like the contrast with your skin and eyes. Then, keep going from there. The small change will probably be nice for both of you without shocking anyone

 

[princesss]

Date: 6/29/2007 12:50:07 PM
Author: decodelighted
DON''T DO IT!!!!!!!

Seriously, read up on the issue first. It''s VERY COMMON for women who go through big changes or traumas even to make huge physical changes in their apperance -- as almost stress relief or, in some cases, self-mutilation!

I grew my hair out longer than it''s ever been for the wedding and had the urge to chop away right after BUT decided to wait it out for awhile. A) I didn''t want to be a walking cliche

B) I wanted to see if the urge would pass C) DH really likes my hair long. We met when it was much shorter, so I know he likes me that way too -- but I''m taking his feelings to heart (at least for now --

).

This might be a way of planning how you''ll manage the anxiety of being married. Not having a project to do. Going through post-wedding blues. There are other ways you can plan for. I signed up for a class that started the day we got back from our mini-moon. That REALLY helped!!!

Haha, deco is totally right. Every time I go through a major change, my hair changes. For me it''s nice to be able to change something. My next big shift is set for after graduation and once I get settled in my first job: I''m going from medium-long brunette to a blonde bob. I''ve done bobs before and they look cute, so why not go blonde? Eventually my hair goes back to medium length brown after I get sick of whatever change, but it''s fun to change things up. I would wait a while, though, and decide what you want. Take a month or two after the wedding and feel out what you''d like and what your DH will like (or just not mind).

And yes, a girl named Summer *can* go brunette. It''s all about that sunny attitude, not the colour of your hair!

 

[musey]

Haha, I love the question of whether your name would be compatible with your hair color

What''s your natural color?

 

[sumbride]

Deco, you''re totally right. It''s completely about the "change" of being married. I don''t think it''s about not having anything to plan (at least not yet) but I do have this urge to be and look different and hair color is the easiest thing to change. I don''t think I''d call blonde to brunette "self-mutilation" but my mom probably would! Her motto is "I''ll be blonde as long as I can afford it."

Selkie - I think if I did it, it would be a lighter brown with highlights. I don''t think I could go dark dark. It would make my skin look too pale. I tried that in college with a wash-out color and wash-out is exactly what it did to me! I think your hair would look great a little more intense, but it looks great now too.

Musey - I have no idea what my "natural color" is anymore. I''ve been getting highlights about half my life. It was this color when I was a kid, and I''ve sort of kept it up, which is why it does work with my coloring. My aunt showed M some pictures of me when I was about 12 and he said "she has brown hair???" and my aunt said "yeah, she did..." and he was completely confused!

M really loves my hair long... it was super long until early last year when I got fed up and cut it to my shoulders. He likes it now that it''s almost bra-strap length again. And the blonde thing does get a lot of attention and he eats that up too. Especially when women we don''t know want to touch my hair. Blows his mind. That may be TMI though, eh?

 

[jcrow]

i so could have written your post! ha.

back story: i''ve been naturally honey blonde most of my life. i didn''t start highlighting until college (cause it started getting darker). and i''ve always had fairly long hair. in college i chopped it off and went dark. i say chopped, but it was shoulder length. anyway i was dark for about a year. then when i was upon graduation, i knew i had to be blonde. i was always a blonde. i felt like i wasn''t ME in the mirror.

fast forward: my hair was super long and super blonde for the wedding, but my HAIR, yes my hair was driving me crazy. it was TONS of upkeep. coloring every 4 weeks. i felt like it was getting really unhealthy and blah. so as soon as the wedding was over i cut it again and went darker. sometimes, i don''t feel like me in the mirror though. and i REALLY miss my blonde hair. but it''s so much $ and upkeep. sigh.

 

[beachbound]

I''m glad I''m not the only one who''s thought of this! I''ve been naturally strawberry blonde/red my whole life, and lately I''ve been thinking about a change! I''ve been wanting to go darker myself with light brown hair. I want to do it soon! I know I should probably wait until the fall, but I think it would be good to have a change...

 

[sumbride]

Yep, JCrow it sounds like we''re two southern blondes in a pod.

I don''t do full color, just full highlights, which keeps it looking natural enough that people are surprised to find out I get it done. And I only have to go every 2 or 3 months, but it''s SO expensive and just such a pain. I wonder what it would be like to not have to deal with all that.

How dark is yours now? do you have a recent pic?

 

[AmberWaves]

Yeah, I''m keeping my hair long for the updo/wedding look, but it''s so dark and so heavy. In the summer my head heats up super fast and just burns. The color makes me washed out, which sucks because since I was born with it, you''d think I''d look normal? So I''m chopping it off to shoulder length since it''s tooo freaking heavy. I always wear it up, even though I''m told it looks best down. It''s just too much. I was blessed with my mom''s thick hispanic hair, but a neck that can''t take it!

When FI first met me 10 years ago, I had a black bob, when we got back together 4 years ago, it was reddish and shoulder length. He loves my hair, no matter what color or length, but he does prefer long enough to be put in a ponytail.

 

[Fancy605]

I am wanting to do a crazy post wedding change too. My hair grows really fast, and I rarely cut it other than a few trims. Right now it is super long (like to the middle of my back), and I am itching to whack it off. I tend to grow my hair out and then cut off 11 or so inches for the Locks of Love program and then start over. My FI loves it when I change it up dramatically. Maybe your FI wouldn''t mind too much if you did something differnt after the wedding? Maybe he''d be like mine and think it was cool.

 

[FireGoddess]

I grew my hair out long for the wedding, really long, and then chopped it off afterwards. We''re not talking pixie cut or anything, but just skimming my shoulders as opposed to halfway down my back. It was fun. Then I grew it back out again. Don''t know if it was a life change thing or just getting bored and wanting to mix it up.

 

[monarch64]

I did the complete reverse Sumbride, by going from brunette to blond about six months after we were married. My DH loved it! But I don''t think he would''ve appreciated me doing something so drastic right after the wedding. Hopefully you won''t feel the itch to get drastic until a few months after the wedding, maybe try something less drastic like a fun nail color or lipstick you wouldn''t normally try right after the wedding to satisfy the urge to try something new?

 

[beachbound]

Date: 6/29/2007 7:46:20 PM
Author: Fancy605
I am wanting to do a crazy post wedding change too. My hair grows really fast, and I rarely cut it other than a few trims. Right now it is super long (like to the middle of my back), and I am itching to whack it off. I tend to grow my hair out and then cut off 11 or so inches for the Locks of Love program and then start over. My FI loves it when I change it up dramatically. Maybe your FI wouldn''t mind too much if you did something differnt after the wedding? Maybe he''d be like mine and think it was cool.

I do the same thing Fancy. My hair grows ridiculously long, ridiculously fast. I just donated to LoL last summer, and I''ve had my hair cut a few times between then and it''s still down past the middle of my back! I just wish I had the guts to go ahead and change it now. I want to do something completely different!

 

[sumbride]

I went to my hair appointment last night and I am now back to VERY BLONDE instead of just "blonde". It''s always a shock the first couple days how light it is. My stylist thinks that I do need to cut it a little bit shorter for the wedding, actually... because I''m planning to wear it half up-half down and he doesn''t think there will be enough volume in the long bit if he doesn''t shorten it some because my hair is so thick and fine. So all this effort in growing out my "wedding hair" and now it''s too long! ha!

I did sort of mention that I felt like a change to M last night and he didn''t sound horrified. Since I have to get my highlights again about a week before the wedding, it will be a while after the wedding before I can change it again if I decide to go that route!