Pre-engagement anticipation

[Magpie09]

For those ladies with timelines or in long-term relationships where you knew it was coming soon how did you build up anticipation for the proposal? Did the excitement build up closer to the time when he hinted etc? Before the timeline I would always wonder if this was the moment when he suggested spur of the moment trips, dining, etc. But i've seem to have lost that anticipation/ excitement.

All I can think of is to paint my nails every week in preparation!

 

[audball]

Andrew and I haven't been together a super long time, but we do have a timeline and that makes it exciting to me.

I posted in another thread that I just recently went to the eye doctor and selected new glasses. As I was trying on different pairs, all I could think was, OMG, I have to choose carefully....these will be the glasses I'm wearing when I get ENGAGED!! Ahh! So even little realizations like that get me all excited to know that it's coming.

Thinking about HOW he may pop the question excites me too. I think about all the special things in our relationship and try to think about he may incorporate something.

But more than that, the most exciting has been shopping, choosing, and getting the ring ordered together. As an OCD PSer, I'm soooo glad that I don't have to worry about not loving the ring!

 

[Phdecorate]

I can't wait for him to ask, but he wants me to help pick the stone....he says he would get it wrong...but I don't want to have the final say as there is a bit of difference In price for a few we are considering and I want him to be comfortable with the amount. So part of me hopes/wonders......could he be planning without me knowing? Somehow, I doubt it. But I wish! I have left all my notes about the Victor Canera halo lying out on the desk in our office just in case. I have gone so far as to tell him it is taking up to six weeks.
My mom asked if I was just getting caught up in the ring itself because I have been badgering her with all my knowledge from PS and I said, well I am excited about the ring, but honestly I would marry him with a piece of tin foil. That is how much I want to marry him!
I have even told him that before and said let's just go get married and do the other stuff later. Of course, I want the ring but thinking about just marrying him helps me refocus a little bit.
So I have been teasing him a little bit and it is making it more fun for both of us, I think. Like, one night we read the proposal stories on here and one day he practiced getting down on his knee over and over and I have tried to insert just a **few** hopes in there! Please no public proposal, etc.
In the meantime, I am just trying to enjoy whatever it is we do get to do, like taking a random day off, a really nice dinner and I stalk PS when he's not around!

 

[audball]

We're PSers! Of course we care about the ring. That DOES NOT mean that it's more important to us than the MARRIAGE. I hate when people think that just because I actually care about the ring means I'm in it for the wrong reasons. Um, I have to wear it for.the.rest.of.my.life. I kind of want to like it! I can work with any budget (and we did, less than 2k) and I'm super happy with what we were able to buy!

 

[Phdecorate]

We're PSers! Of course we care about the ring. That DOES NOT mean that it's more important to us than the MARRIAGE. I hate when people think that just because I actually care about the ring means I'm in it for the wrong reasons. Um, I have to wear it for.the.rest.of.my.life. I kind of want to like it! I can work with any budget (and we did, less than 2k) and I'm super happy with what we were able to buy!

I know! I am so glad I found this place. What's wrong with wanting to be as lucky with the perfect ring as you are with the perfect guy!? Luck be a lady on PS

 

[audball]

We're PSers! Of course we care about the ring. That DOES NOT mean that it's more important to us than the MARRIAGE. I hate when people think that just because I actually care about the ring means I'm in it for the wrong reasons. Um, I have to wear it for.the.rest.of.my.life. I kind of want to like it! I can work with any budget (and we did, less than 2k) and I'm super happy with what we were able to buy!

I know! I am so glad I found this place. What's wrong with wanting to be as lucky with the perfect ring as you are with the perfect guy!? Luck be a lady on PS

Definitely!

 

[peonia]

definitely know what you mean! although my SO and i are in a long distance relationship and only get to see each other about once a month or so on average, so i don't have the "is it today?" thing. i also know whenabouts it's coming, and it's fairly soon! i get hit with a variety of emotions daily, from being very excited, to feeling calm and content, to being in disbelief that it's going to happen

 

[audball]

definitely know what you mean! although my SO and i are in a long distance relationship and only get to see each other about once a month or so on average, so i don't have the "is it today?" thing. i also know whenabouts it's coming, and it's fairly soon! i get hit with a variety of emotions daily, from being very excited, to feeling calm and content, to being in disbelief that it's going to happen

It's such a roller coaster of emotions during this time! We feel for you!

 

[sweetpea&babycorn]

We're PSers! Of course we care about the ring. That DOES NOT mean that it's more important to us than the MARRIAGE. I hate when people think that just because I actually care about the ring means I'm in it for the wrong reasons. Um, I have to wear it for.the.rest.of.my.life. I kind of want to like it! I can work with any budget (and we did, less than 2k) and I'm super happy with what we were able to buy!

THIS IS SO TRUE. I have to share this with my bf. It's not the he thinks I'm totally superficial, but he's like, why can't I just pick out the ring and why is it so important to you. He's also the type that will freak out over a big decision and just do the first thing that comes to his mind. That might work in some situations, but definitely not for engagement ring shopping! For us, it's not a ring or no-ring situation, but just what kind of ring, style, size, etc. He likes things bold, different, standout-ish, and I can appreciate that. But for my engagement ring, I really want to keep it simple and classic, after all it's supposed to last through the future generations!

But back to the topic, my bf and I haven't been together for that long (7 months) but we are in our mid-late 20s and know that we want in a future husband/wife and we see that in each other. Last night we had a great conversation about timelines. He had hesitations about getting engaged because he feels that engagements should be short (like, less than 6 months). He was honest and said that because of my career path, he didn't see getting married in the next 2 years since we're not sure where we'll be living, how much money we'll have, etc which I agreed with. But I said that I really wanted to get married before residency since planning a wedding and getting married during residency can be borderline hellish, and by that time I'll know where I'll match and can start planning how to pay off school debt. I shared with him that I didn't mind, even sort of preferred, longer engagements, more along a 1-1.5 year period. So after hearing what we both wanted and saw where things were going in our relationship, he said, "OK, new plan" which I thought was cute. He proposed talking about seriously getting engaged, like rings and all, at the end of the year when we've had the chance to live together for a bit and enjoy being around each other. So even though he's not hiding a ring anywhere, I'm excited to have that conversation with him and I'm so relieved that we both agree on a time where we will feel comfortable with talking seriously about marriage.

 

[pandabee]

We're PSers! Of course we care about the ring. That DOES NOT mean that it's more important to us than the MARRIAGE. I hate when people think that just because I actually care about the ring means I'm in it for the wrong reasons. Um, I have to wear it for.the.rest.of.my.life. I kind of want to like it! I can work with any budget (and we did, less than 2k) and I'm super happy with what we were able to buy!

THIS IS SO TRUE. I have to share this with my bf. It's not the he thinks I'm totally superficial, but he's like, why can't I just pick out the ring and why is it so important to you. He's also the type that will freak out over a big decision and just do the first thing that comes to his mind. That might work in some situations, but definitely not for engagement ring shopping! For us, it's not a ring or no-ring situation, but just what kind of ring, style, size, etc. He likes things bold, different, standout-ish, and I can appreciate that. But for my engagement ring, I really want to keep it simple and classic, after all it's supposed to last through the future generations!

But back to the topic, my bf and I haven't been together for that long (7 months) but we are in our mid-late 20s and know that we want in a future husband/wife and we see that in each other. Last night we had a great conversation about timelines. He had hesitations about getting engaged because he feels that engagements should be short (like, less than 6 months). He was honest and said that because of my career path, he didn't see getting married in the next 2 years since we're not sure where we'll be living, how much money we'll have, etc which I agreed with. But I said that I really wanted to get married before residency since planning a wedding and getting married during residency can be borderline hellish, and by that time I'll know where I'll match and can start planning how to pay off school debt. I shared with him that I didn't mind, even sort of preferred, longer engagements, more along a 1-1.5 year period. So after hearing what we both wanted and saw where things were going in our relationship, he said, "OK, new plan" which I thought was cute. He proposed talking about seriously getting engaged, like rings and all, at the end of the year when we've had the chance to live together for a bit and enjoy being around each other. So even though he's not hiding a ring anywhere, I'm excited to have that conversation with him and I'm so relieved that we both agree on a time where we will feel comfortable with talking seriously about marriage.

Totally agreed with you there, audball. Just because we appreciate shiny, sparkly things a little more than the average woman, doesn't mean we discount our relationships any less!! And I think like someone said on another thread, we are obviously serial monogamists here if we are in the LIW forum, even if it's on a jewelry forum!!! sweetpea that is so exciting, I'm glad that he is open to changing the plan up. Good communication is always important so I'm glad that you guys are at that comfortable stage where you can talk about the future and come up with a reasonable timeline together

I don't feel as anxious as many of you ladies do, but I'm sure that when the time comes and we have our jobs settled and have an actual idea of what the future holds for us after graduation I'll feel the itch a lot more to get engaged/married and really start our lives together. Until then...I'm living vicariously through you all!!!

 

[audball]

Seriously. It offends me a little when people think that just because I care about the jewelry that represents my relationship that I will be wearing for.the.rest.of.my.life that I don't value the idea of marriage. I'm so glad you PSers understand.

 

[maebelle]

Seriously. It offends me a little when people think that just because I care about the jewelry that represents my relationship that I will be wearing for.the.rest.of.my.life that I don't value the idea of marriage. I'm so glad you PSers understand.

It's also funny because other people TOTALLY use your jewelry to decide how serious your relationship is. They don't think a couple is *serious* until a ring is involved and then definitely judge based on engagement ring choice...

I think more people are involved in ring choice then they let on because of this weird social stigma of it having to be PERFECT and also be AN AWESOME AMAZING SURPRISE.


I'm excited about the pending engagement even more since I've been part of the ring choosing. I feel much more involved and I love it

 

[audball]

Seriously. It offends me a little when people think that just because I care about the jewelry that represents my relationship that I will be wearing for.the.rest.of.my.life that I don't value the idea of marriage. I'm so glad you PSers understand.

It's also funny because other people TOTALLY use your jewelry to decide how serious your relationship is. They don't think a couple is *serious* until a ring is involved and then definitely judge based on engagement ring choice...

I think more people are involved in ring choice then they let on because of this weird social stigma of it having to be PERFECT and also be AN AWESOME AMAZING SURPRISE.


I'm excited about the pending engagement even more since I've been part of the ring choosing. I feel much more involved and I love it

I agree. People do judge the jewels which is ridiculous. My man doesn't love me any more or less if I have a rock this much bigger or smaller. It's crazy. I feel more excited and less anxious about the engagement process too because I know I'm going to be happy with the man AND the ring.

 

[Magpie09]

The funny (or sad) thing is that a smaller ring could be of better quality and worth more $ than someone's 2ct ring they put no thought into. I'm so glad that I was included in the process as we chose a diamond/design we both loved and I wouldn't change that experience for anything. Some people can be very small-minded.

 

[audball]

The funny (or sad) thing is that a smaller ring could be of better quality and worth more $ than someone's 2ct ring they put no thought into. I'm so glad that I was included in the process as we chose a diamond/design we both loved and I wouldn't change that experience for anything. Some people can be very small-minded.

SOOOO true. Most maul stores, you can get a 1.5-2ct piece of frozen spit for under 6ish thousand dollar. We know an ideal cut in the same size, in a quality setting, could be easily double, even triple, that.

 

[sweetpea&babycorn]

The funny (or sad) thing is that a smaller ring could be of better quality and worth more $ than someone's 2ct ring they put no thought into. I'm so glad that I was included in the process as we chose a diamond/design we both loved and I wouldn't change that experience for anything. Some people can be very small-minded.

SOOOO true. Most maul stores, you can get a 1.5-2ct piece of frozen spit for under 6ish thousand dollar. We know an ideal cut in the same size, in a quality setting, could be easily double, even triple, that.

eeek, THIS is my biggest fear if I let my boyfriend get the ring on his own. He is the type to jump on a purchase if he is feeling too overwhelmed (which I know he will). He just bought an HP laptop for $350 when I was begging him to jump on the Mac wagon. I know it's not the same, and he said that he went cheap on a laptop because it won't be his main computer, but in the car he said, "I got a laptop, a mouse, AND norton antivirus for under $400 including tax!" All I could imagine him saying was, "I went to the mall and got this 2 carat diamond AND damage insurance for $6000!" Thank goodness I was able to help him see the light and allow me to participate in the ring selection

 

[madelise]

Seriously. It offends me a little when people think that just because I care about the jewelry that represents my relationship that I will be wearing for.the.rest.of.my.life that I don't value the idea of marriage. I'm so glad you PSers understand.

HAHA. On another forum I'm on, a thread was started regarding upgrading e-rings. The females there were bashing on how women feel insecure about their marriages if they upgrade. I was like, WTF? So you're also insecure if you buy a better car. Or a better house. Or anything? Whatever floats their boat.

 

[madelise]

The funny (or sad) thing is that a smaller ring could be of better quality and worth more $ than someone's 2ct ring they put no thought into. I'm so glad that I was included in the process as we chose a diamond/design we both loved and I wouldn't change that experience for anything. Some people can be very small-minded.

SOOOO true. Most maul stores, you can get a 1.5-2ct piece of frozen spit for under 6ish thousand dollar. We know an ideal cut in the same size, in a quality setting, could be easily double, even triple, that.

eeek, THIS is my biggest fear if I let my boyfriend get the ring on his own. He is the type to jump on a purchase if he is feeling too overwhelmed (which I know he will). He just bought an HP laptop for $350 when I was begging him to jump on the Mac wagon. I know it's not the same, and he said that he went cheap on a laptop because it won't be his main computer, but in the car he said, "I got a laptop, a mouse, AND norton antivirus for under $400 including tax!" All I could imagine him saying was, "I went to the mall and got this 2 carat diamond AND damage insurance for $6000!" Thank goodness I was able to help him see the light and allow me to participate in the ring selection

OH BOY. Same. SO gets overwhelmed with research, too! That's why I'm planning everything! No 6 carat spit balls for me!

 

[audball]

The funny (or sad) thing is that a smaller ring could be of better quality and worth more $ than someone's 2ct ring they put no thought into. I'm so glad that I was included in the process as we chose a diamond/design we both loved and I wouldn't change that experience for anything. Some people can be very small-minded.

SOOOO true. Most maul stores, you can get a 1.5-2ct piece of frozen spit for under 6ish thousand dollar. We know an ideal cut in the same size, in a quality setting, could be easily double, even triple, that.

eeek, THIS is my biggest fear if I let my boyfriend get the ring on his own. He is the type to jump on a purchase if he is feeling too overwhelmed (which I know he will). He just bought an HP laptop for $350 when I was begging him to jump on the Mac wagon. I know it's not the same, and he said that he went cheap on a laptop because it won't be his main computer, but in the car he said, "I got a laptop, a mouse, AND norton antivirus for under $400 including tax!" All I could imagine him saying was, "I went to the mall and got this 2 carat diamond AND damage insurance for $6000!" Thank goodness I was able to help him see the light and allow me to participate in the ring selection

I'm so glad hes seen the light! Bigger is most DEFINITELY not always better.

 

[pandabee]

eeek, THIS is my biggest fear if I let my boyfriend get the ring on his own. He is the type to jump on a purchase if he is feeling too overwhelmed (which I know he will). He just bought an HP laptop for $350 when I was begging him to jump on the Mac wagon. I know it's not the same, and he said that he went cheap on a laptop because it won't be his main computer, but in the car he said, "I got a laptop, a mouse, AND norton antivirus for under $400 including tax!" All I could imagine him saying was, "I went to the mall and got this 2 carat diamond AND damage insurance for $6000!" Thank goodness I was able to help him see the light and allow me to participate in the ring selection

omg this is my biggest fear as well. I may have to hit you up for pointers as I have no idea how I am going to convince him to either let me do all the research or have him come here and be educated and get a better deal online.

HAHA. On another forum I'm on, a thread was started regarding upgrading e-rings. The females there were bashing on how women feel insecure about their marriages if they upgrade. I was like, WTF? So you're also insecure if you buy a better car. Or a better house. Or anything? Whatever floats their boat.

that's a great analogy. I guess people just view an e-ring with such symbolism that they forget it is just a piece of (sparkly, shiny) jewelry.

 

[audball]

Seriously. It offends me a little when people think that just because I care about the jewelry that represents my relationship that I will be wearing for.the.rest.of.my.life that I don't value the idea of marriage. I'm so glad you PSers understand.

HAHA. On another forum I'm on, a thread was started regarding upgrading e-rings. The females there were bashing on how women feel insecure about their marriages if they upgrade. I was like, WTF? So you're also insecure if you buy a better car. Or a better house. Or anything? Whatever floats their boat.

Wow. Some people are weird. I love your analogy! If we were all still driving our first cars, living in our first homes, working at our first jobs, where would we all be?