Pre-Marital Counseling

[Class n Sass]

Has anyone signed up for any pre-marital counseling? Our minister will provide us with counseling but I''m pretty sure it will be more spritiually based. I''m looked for more of a practical based counseling service. What are your thoughts? Any recommendations? I''m in NYC.

Thanks!

 

[Skippy123]

We did it; it was required to get married in our church. My husband and I were pleasently surprise at how well it turned out. I highly recommend it

We had to attend 2 days where actual married couples share information on finances, marriage, family and communication.

They split us up and had us write what month bills we had then we came together and discussed them as one example. We did lots of little exercises.
Also, the couples talked about how men communicate and how women communicate. We did discussions and we listen to peoples real life stories.
I am not sure where there is one in NYC that is similar but I would ask around if you are looking for something like that.
We both found it very helpful and we ended up helping for 4 years in a row after we got married!

 

[cara]

May not be heavily spiritually based. Catholic friends tell me there is quite a variety between regions and programs. Some are almost new-agey, very little God, some are very God heavy and specific to the particular religion.

My favorite! My friend was getting married in her fiance''s church. They already lived together and made clear they were not abstinent roommates. Minister asks her, "If God asked you to, would you give up sex until the wedding?" To which she replied, "Well, if God personally came down and asked me himself, why yes I would."

 

[anchor31]

We''re doing it, it''s required by our church. I''m happy with having to do it, I''m sure there will be useful things we will learn, but I don''t know what to expect.

 

[Class n Sass]

Skippy....what you described sounds exactly like what I am looking for. I''m going to keep looking into something like that her in NY. Maybe I can get a good recommendation

 

[Independent Gal]

Cara, that''s hilarious.

 

[labbielove]

We are Catholic and going to a fully day Pre Cana, which I understand is not all spiritually based- sections on finance, communication, etc.
However, if you are looking for more one on one, I would highly recommend a counselor for a few sessions.
I have been to counseling at various points in my life and it can be very helpful.

I''m sure if you call around there are some non-religious programs available.

good luck!

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 5/3/2007 10:27:23 PM
Author: Class n Sass
Skippy....what you described sounds exactly like what I am looking for. I'm going to keep looking into something like that her in NY. Maybe I can get a good recommendation

You might call the Catholic church to find one like that. They are free and accept anyone. . . my husband is agnostic and he was very nervous it was very religious and it wasn't. Of course they talked about God, but it was maybe about 10% of the whole weekend. Just a thought and I would be up front with them. Hope that helps

 

[musey]

Date: 5/3/2007 10:10:12 PM
Author: cara
Minister asks her, ''If God asked you to, would you give up sex until the wedding?'' To which she replied, ''Well, if God personally came down and asked me himself, why yes I would.''

Oh I love it. Your friend sounds hilarious!!

 

[RoseAngel04]

FI and I did it and had a very good experience. I recommend that all couples walking down the aisle do it. Ours consisted of a test that showed our couple strengths and areas that could use a little adjusting. It was encouraging to have our strengths highlighted/praised. Then we had a session with the counselor where we discussed the results etc...There was also a prep for marriage workshop that was a Friday night and all day Saturday that we went to with other engaged couples. Speakers came to discuss several important topics ranging from intimacy, money, communication etc. There weren''t really any "aha" moments...we''d pretty much talked about all the topics before hand, but at the workshop we went into the subjects in great detail. The pre-marital program we chose also had a religious piece that was important to us as a couple. It was so nice to concentrate on each other and us becoming one in the midst of the sometimes hectic world of wedding planning.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 5/3/2007 10:10:12 PM
Author: cara

My favorite! My friend was getting married in her fiance''s church. They already lived together and made clear they were not abstinent roommates. Minister asks her, ''If God asked you to, would you give up sex until the wedding?'' To which she replied, ''Well, if God personally came down and asked me himself, why yes I would.''

LOL, my fiance would say that!

 

[firstbase32]

We did pre-marital counseling through a program our University offered called the M.A.C program (Mentor-A-Couple). It is a program that has tons of couples who have some affiliations with the university and we take a test and tell them our majors and they pair us up with someone with a lifestyle that is similar to ours. We were paired up with the university''s assistant chaplain and thought it was very good stuff. We talked about the book The 5 Love Languages and what not and talked about some stuff that was more practical. Our minister also did a few sessions with us but it was more just hanging out with him since we''re such good friends. We''re also a part of a Sunday School class for engaged/newly married couples where we talk about issues like that and how to build a marriage that lasts. We read the book "The First 90 Days of Marriage" it was a great book. I highly recommend both of the books.