Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

Pre-nups?

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
leeenie

leeenie

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 27, 2005
Messages
281
What do you think about them? Does anyone plan on having one or have one and not mind sharing your thoughts?

Arguments against: it''s not "romantic," seems cynical to think about divorce when getting married.

Arguments for: the divorce rate (the counterargument "but we''re different" doesn''t mean much when you consider that all the people who have been divorced probably thought they would be together forever when they married too), how messy and "unfair" things could turn out without one.
 
This is an interesting topic and surprisingly one that has not been brought up before. My BF and I haven''t talked about having one, but at the same time we currently don''t have any assets to protect.
 
We won''t be having one. We have no assets to argue over.
2.gif
(No, really, I''m serious.)

If we were coming to the marraige with substantial personal wealth/assets, I''d certainly consider one (although the romantic side of me would probably be a little hurt). But for us, any wealth we accumulate will be done together, and so there shouldn''t be any problems with a divorce settlement, should that become necessary.

Just our thoughts.
 
My husband and I knew before our marriage that neither of us was greedy, materialistic or had a bitter vengeful personality so that was why, when we discussed whether to have a pre-nup or not, we knew there was no point for us. We''re both the sort of people who''d play fair to the penny if we did split up.

We''d each had split-ups with other people in our pasts, and it was clear from the way we handled those that we weren''t going to take advantage of each other if it happened to us.

In the end though, I think we fell somewhere in the middle of "it''s not romantic" and "it''s just not necessary/appropriate for us"; we didn''t decide against it solely for one reason or the other.
 
I think Jeffrey and I might have one, I have siblings a great deal younger then me (18 years) and I think there may be some custodial issues there that need legal backing. It really depends, if my parents ask us then neither of us minds, we both love my younger siblings and if something happened would take care of them.
 
Date: 12/8/2005 5:55:38 PM
Author: abradabra
This thread got rather heated, but it summarizes the issues well.

http://www.pricescope.com/forum/steam-room/how-do-you-ladies-feel-about-signing-a-prenuptial-t18920.html
Click to expand...
I remember that thread vividly, Abradabra.
20.gif


Like I posted then, my husband and I had nothing when we started out together, and therefore, there was no need for such a thing. If I were getting remarried today, I''d have to think differently. I have 2 children to protect, and what they are entitled to would need to be addressed.
 
We definitely won''t have one- being in school and just starting out, neither of us own a damn thing yet! Plus, I''m going to be a physician, and he''ll have a nice career so it''s not like we wouldn''t be able to take care of ourselves if we were to split (not that it will happen, of course
2.gif
)
 
I have to admit that I dont like the idea of having one...but if something happens to my parents I will become my siblings custodian. I love them more then I could say and luckily so does V, (it is weird sometimes that I have been with him longer then I have had my little sister). But I think in our situation that it is reasonable for guidelines to be set up as a worse case scenario. I have to say though they are the only reason I would sign one, or if I had children of my own...
We are going to be just out of school neither of us with have any debt, so really there is nothing to worry about dividing.
Though I have meet many people my age who think I am a fool for even thinking about not having one. I figure to each his own.
I went and skimmed over that last thread. It made me very sad...Pricescope is a heaven from real life a blessing where we can go and discuss things find veiw points and comfort and knowledge about something we all enjoy. I still think of 5793 sometimes...I hope she is well.
 
Honestly, besides that my parents will insist, my views are much stronger as a pro-prenup person as I''ve continued to live through a horrible, horrible divorce. No one ever expects people to be vindictive or difficult, but I''ve witnessed too many cases to the contrary. Ours will protect assets pre-marriage and inheritance (I think that typically goes to the person who inherited it, but it still gets faught over!), which basically I''m the only one who''d need that covered. Also, P has decided that if we do have kids, he wouldn''t wnat me to work full time unless necessary...I''ve also seen the woman not working to raise the children be turned against her in court as well...so I''d want that agreement to be noted. Wealth accumulated after marriage would be split. It is the things you think are fair before anything goes wrong, when you''re looking at things rationally...but divorce isn''t rational, there are strong emotions that get in the way. If you''re both starting from point A, there''s no issues...its when you''re not starting at the same spot with assets or like Matatora said, you have issues with guardianship or your own children. To me, it is more of a formality, like just get it over with and then you hope you never have to see that paper ever again!
 
If I came from a really wealthy family with "family money" then maybe I''d want one, just because you never know what can happen. Plus the family would most likely put alot of pressure towards having one. I dont, so there will be no pre nup, but also there are other things to consider. Maybe if I were financially well off and had children and was older, I''d want one, but I''m not completely sure...
 
Well, I said in the last thread that we will have one, and if it is up to me we will. Tom has several rental properties here in the SF bay area, along with money that he has saved and invested. I have no debt, but no real assets either. I want everyone to know that I am marrying him for him, not his money. He is sort of a nerd (ok- not even just sort of) and I think that his friends and some of his family thought at first that I was only with him for his finances. Little do they know, I think nerds are SEXY!

Also, i have watched people that were as rational and kind hearted as anyone I knew turn into vicious combatants when divorce came into the picture. I don''t ever plan to divorce, but waiting until 35 to get married wasn''t my plan either. Life takes funny bounces, and hopefully we are springy enough to bounce along unharmed.
 
Pre-nup? I wish we had money, honey!
2.gif
 
Me and my fiance always joke about having a pre-nup because I don''t really have anything and all he has is a house. But that''s all that it is... a joke.

If either one of us was wealthy, then I could understand having one, but when neither of you really have anything then it''s just a waste of time and money (for lawyers, etc.). I believe when you enter the engagement with an intention of marriage, you are aware of and agree to combine your assets as well as your liabilities.

On a more personal note, I think that a pre-nup is a way for someone to imply that they don''t trust you, which can automatically put a strain on the relationship before the marriage even takes place. I would be hurt if I was getting married to someone and they asked me to sign a pre-nup. I would think "then why are you marrying me if you don''t want to share your life, and every aspect of it, with me?" But that''s just me. Everyone feels different in these matters.

One thing I will add in favor of pre-nups though: Seems these days NO ONE can be trusted anyway.

It''s a tough call...
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
GET 3 FREE HCA RESULTS JOIN THE FORUM. ASK FOR HELP
Jewelry Blog
PriceScope-Concierge-Ad
Find prime cuts.
Top