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Presentation Ring???

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ams0124

Brilliant_Rock
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How does this work???

Is the diamond in the ring "the" diamond used in the actual ring? Or is the whole thing just kind of a place holder until the "real" ring is ready/purchased/whatever? Or can it be both?

DON''T BE MAD (I''m a bad LIW, I know) BUT: My mom (whos been in disscussions with FF) told me that FF bought the ring but hadn''t picked it up yet because it''s not ready....and might not be ready until FEB!!!! She said that he might have to use a presentation ring....Just curious what that really means??
 
I think it can mean whatever you want it to mean, really (not trying to be difficult, but really!
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). I think it often comes up here that guy will propose with the actual diamond but in a temporary setting (i.e. very simple and relatively cheap) so that the woman will be able to choose her own setting later on (and/or when there''s more money for a more elaborate setting). In your case, it sounds like the ring en total won''t be done until February, so he might propose with a stand-in ring, without the actual diamond (which sounds like it will be getting set in the actual setting).

OR maybe he knows your mom tells you stuff and is trying to throw you off? [:p
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Anyway, the best way to know would be to ask him after he pops the question, but from what you''ve said about the ring being set and not being done until February, I''d guess that ring will be complete when you receive it, and so if he uses another ring to propose, that''ll be a ring unto itself but not your official engagement ring. ...if that makes sense?
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That makes sense...

Now here''s some more questions
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...If the diamond in the stand in ring isn''t my diamond...Is it a really diamond...or do they give you a fake one? And obvioulsy you would have to return the stand in right? Would the stand in diamond be similar to my diamond? ie. e-ring diamond 1 ct, stand in diamond 1 ct too (if that makes any sense
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BTW: It could be a possibility that he''s trying to throw both of us off. I would be just shocked really!!! Hummm....now you have me wondering....
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Date: 12/18/2008 3:27:53 PM
Author: ams0124
That makes sense...


Now here's some more questions
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...If the diamond in the stand in ring isn't my diamond...Is it a really diamond...or do they give you a fake one? And obvioulsy you would have to return the stand in right? Would the stand in diamond be similar to my diamond? ie. e-ring diamond 1 ct, stand in diamond 1 ct too (if that makes any sense
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BTW: It could be a possibility that he's trying to throw both of us off. I would be just shocked really!!! Hummm....now you have me wondering....
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Hahah, I don't know how devious he is, but if he knows the relationship between you and your mom, he might, you never know...
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Anyway, if you have a stand-in (as in, your setting but not your diamond, the opposite of what I talked about in my last post), it's my understanding that you (the buyer) have to purchase something of a similar size to put in that setting until the diamond can be purchased (presumably together). That stand-in could be anything from cubic zirconia to a gemstone (white sapphire would look a bit similar to a diamond but be less expensive). Wouldn't make sense for it to be an actual diamond unless it was YOUR actual diamond. But if the setting were to stay the same, then the size and shape of the stone would probably be the similar if not almost the same. Most settings have heads that are designed to accommodate a certain range of stone sizes and nothing else, so the temp stone would have to be of a similar size to the actual one (*if* the setting would be the same for the two rings).

As far as I know, that placeholder stone would be purchased by the buyer and not supplied by the store that sold your setting (although that could not be true with some jewelers if you buy the setting and stone from them--they may be willing to provide a temp stone that is very inexpensive for you to borrow? But I'd kind of doubt it.)

What it sounded like your boyfriend was maybe doing was buying a less expensive ring (both setting and stone) to propose with, and then swapping that ring out with the "real" engagement ring that is scheduled to be done in February, with your setting and your diamond. If that is correct, then you'd end up with two engagement rings, you lucky chicky you.
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Anyway, does that clear things up or make them more confusing? I think my explanations were as clear as mud...
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A placeholder ring could be something as simple as a silver band...and it would be something additional that would be purchased by your BF to present during the proposal. Could also be a necklace or bracelet, etc.
 
So the consensus then is that it''s an extra purchase....not a "loaner ring" from the jewler.

Humm...I''m kinda sad about that
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...I guess I always envisioned wearing the ring that he proposed with forever not switching it out...I think he might have to propose twice
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Once so I can "officially" start planning and then once more with the actual engagement ring.
 
I know we all have our likes and dislikes. I personally DISLIKE temporary settings. With a passion really. Why not just get the thing right before proposing? Uuugg that bugs me...lol (sorry if I offended anyone. That was not my intention. Only my thoughts...)
 
Date: 12/18/2008 6:45:48 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
I know we all have our likes and dislikes. I personally DISLIKE temporary settings. With a passion really. Why not just get the thing right before proposing? Uuugg that bugs me...lol (sorry if I offended anyone. That was not my intention. Only my thoughts...)
I''m not a big fan of it either...the more I think about the posibility of this presentation ring...honestly the sadder I get
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I do really want to get engaged soon though (and not have to wait until Feb)...Mainly because we want to get married next winter, and b/c I''m stubborn and won''t offical start "planning" until we''re engaged...I think it could start to cut it fairly close with booking a venue, and vendors...Especially since winter is a pretty popular time here in CO (sking and whatnot)

I also know that FF has special ties to a xmas proposal...his parents got engaged at xmas as did both of his sisters...I know he would be sad if the only reason he couldn''t propose at the time he planned was because the ring designer took longer than expected to complete the ring...

I don''t know....I go back and forth with the whole thing....I''m really torn
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Yeah, that is certainly a tough pickle you are in! I can see where you are coming from. I would feel the same way as you. Whenever I think of certain situations like this, I like to think that it is out of my control and it''s in FF''s hands to worry about. So pretty much, try not to worry about it. Let him do what he wants to do and then it is what it is....You know? I guess if he has to do it that way, then he will. Do you think FF and your Mom could be possibly fooling you?
 
My guess would be the same as Gwen''s...a simple setting that may or may not hold the diamond to be. From reading others proposal stories, I would guess that it IS the diamond. I think a diamond can be set in the final setting in just a couple hours, if it is a standard size.

I know different people feel differently, but I was begging for a stand-in ring. The ring was soooo not important to me two years ago when I first got the LIWitis. BUT it was REALLY important to my beloved. I thought it would be really cute to have inexpensive gemstone rings (not like the lovelies on PS over in colored gemstones, I was thinking ones that are really more like costume jewelry...in the under $50 range.)

BUT SOMEHOW I managed to wait it out...
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and it was worth the wait...

Either way for you... it''s time to be happy, surely you won''t be waiting much longer.
 
I think a presentation ring can be anything, really.

As for getting the details just right (ring, timing, etc.) don''t worry about it! He''s going to propose, you''re going to say yes, and ultimately you two will be engaged and you''ll have your "real" ring. I know it''s easy for me to say that now, I know, but I''m just trying to help you feel better. My hubby and I chose my ring together, and I thought I knew when it was going to be ready, and I ended up obsessing over all the details for a bit until I realized that I was going to ruin the sheer excitement of getting engaged.

Go with the flow, honey. It will be wonderful because it will be your engagement story, no matter how the details work out.
 
Your ladies are right!!! As always
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If I''m really this worried about the ring then obvioulsy I need to straighten out my priorities. I''m going to focus more on the fact that FF will be proposing soon and that we''ll be engaged...which is what I''ve wanted for so long. I don''t want to take the excitement away from the my last few days as an LIW
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Thanks for perking me up...I love this place
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Now my next question....Do I take pictures of the presentation ring for PS even if it might not be "the" diamond??
 
Date: 12/19/2008 5:11:14 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
Yeah, that is certainly a tough pickle you are in! I can see where you are coming from. I would feel the same way as you. Whenever I think of certain situations like this, I like to think that it is out of my control and it''s in FF''s hands to worry about. So pretty much, try not to worry about it. Let him do what he wants to do and then it is what it is....You know? I guess if he has to do it that way, then he will. Do you think FF and your Mom could be possibly fooling you?
Maybe....Hopefully? Ideally that would be the best thing! I would definitely feel foolish for worrying so much! Hummm maybe I''ll just go with that theory
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I guess another way to look at it is.....he will be proposing. He has the diamond. You are going to be engaged very soon!!!!!
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The rest will just work itself out. (If only I listen to my advice to others! lol)
 
I'm excited for you!!!

You might get two rings! I'm thinking it'll be a gemstone ring or maybe your diamond in a temporary setting.
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I think it's incredibly sweet that he's going to go through the trouble to buy you a nice ring and then perhaps design your *dream* ring with your input. I had a simple temporary platinum setting (simple 6 prong) and got to design my own ring. So I had a presentation ring in a sense, just with the engagement diamond in it. Thinking of it now, it was kind of a waste of money since now I have a plat setting that just sits in a box. But oh well! I did enjoy the diamond in it.

I understand though that if you want the real ring at the right time, the presentation ring might not be your thing. But at least it's coming soon! And at least he's not just cruising into some mall store to get any old ring... he's thinking about the moment and then down the road. Sounds like a winner to me!

Pssst. CONGRATS!
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In the UK it is very common to propose with no ring and then to choose it together. Out of all my friends and family I only know two people who didn''t (one of whom was my BIL who was proposing to an Amerian and had been told that he had to have the ring first
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The proposal is the question and the promises - not the ring. The ring is merely a symbol to celebrate the engagement.

DH proposed without a ring and it took me so long to design and finish my e-ring that I ended up with a placeholder ring as well - mine is an antique sapphire and diamond eternity band.

I love having a second ring - that has huge sentimental value to me as well. In the same way, I have a 22kt gold 1908 wedding band that I wore on my right hand during the ceremony. I wear these when we are travelling or I''m in places where a blingy e-ring and w-band wouldn''t be appropriate.

(Oh, and I got THREE proposals in the end as DH re-proposed at each stage!)
 
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