Puppy back at breeder...best for all involved!!

[JessesGrl]

Thanks for everyones response to my original question about puppy. My fiance got into a long and emotional conversation about the well being of that beautiful puppy. I was actually sick w/worry today and threw up over it....not a good sign, my body new what the right thing to do was! I love that puppy and she was so cute and snuggly and wonderful but after many tears I decided that leaving her alone for almost 9 hours a day in a crate was really not humane and was unfair to such a wondeful creature. I am also 24 years old, fresh out of grad school and ready to start my career...which in itself is a very stressful life event. We are getting married in 4 1/2 months and are trying to save for a house, baby, etc. We have discussed a dog for awhile and thought now was the best time, that was before I was offered a job that was an hour total commute, over a bridge that has heavy traffic and was emotionally draining ( I will be a therapist for emotionally disturbed/JD adolescent boys). I am so so so so sad over this, I miss her already and only had her for 5 days. Breeder signed a contract stating they would try to sell her and give us our money back or after 4 months they would keep her and return the money at that time. I felt so bad giving her back...it was not her but our current situation. I feel like a "failed parent"....but it was the best decision for the puppy. Hopefully a nice retired couple or stay at home mommy will take her!!! I also learned a valuable lesson...no babies until I can afford to stay home...I couldn''t leave a puppy let a lone a baby!!!! Thanks again everyone for your lengthy and thoughtful responses!

 

[sjz]

I''m sorry that you had to give the puppy back. She was adorable. But it sounds like you put a lot of thought into what was best for the puppy, and you probably did the right thing. I guess I missed in your original posts that you had an hour commute through some traffic. That would have put you away from the puppy for a lot longer than 8 hours a day I''ll bet.

I know how you feel when it comes to giving her back. We got a cat once that didn''t get along with the cat we already had. We gave it several weeks, but we had to return him to the lady we got him from. It was scared to death of our other cat, and did nothing but hide under the sofa all day and shake. We had to give away a little dog once, too. We got her from a breeder, who as it turns out wasn''t a very good one. When we picked the dog up, the living conditions for the dogs were deplorable. She also misprepresented the age of the dog to us...it was supposed to be puppy, but was instead a full grown dog which was probably several years old! Since it was a toy breed, it was kind of hard to tell at first, but we could tell instantly when we got her home that she was much older than represented. When I had her checked out by the vet, it turned out that she had all sorts of health problems as well. The vet ended up finding her another home, since we already had pets and she could have transferred some of her illness to them. I felt really bad about it. I could have returned her to the breeder, but my conscience wouldn''t let me return her to someone like that! One does feel like a failure, or a bad "parent" or something when you have to give an animal up like that. But I think if you are doing it in the best interest of the animal, you are doing the right thing.

 

[MissAva]

Bless your heart! I am so sorry that you had to give up your little puppy. However you did the right thing. It is hard to work with adolescents and you are going to need all of your energy to focus on them and not worry about the puppy at home. With that sort of commute it would have been unfair for the puppy. This way the puppy will be able to go with someone who has more time and energy. This doesnt mean that you have failed, rather that you were responsible and cared more for the dogs well being then your desire to have a pet. *hug*

 

[3hearts]

You made a very rough decision, but in the end you knew it was the right one, for now. I wish more people would make the right choices, then maybe less animals would end up in shelters and no babies would end up in garbage bins. You are not a "failed parent" you are a responsible person. It took alot to do what you did, give yourself a break and a big hug !!

take care,
Lyn

 

[MelissaSue]

Awww. I''m so sorry! I really feel for you! You are probably right that it is best for all of you!

 

[Diachi]

Date: 5/14/2005 12:14:10 AM
Author: 3hearts
You made a very rough decision, but in the end you knew it was the right one, for now. I wish more people would make the right choices, then maybe less animals would end up in shelters and no babies would end up in garbage bins. You are not a ''failed parent'' you are a responsible person. It took alot to do what you did, give yourself a break and a big hug !!

I second that! and applaud your heartwrenching decision

! You seem like a loving, compassionate, and dedicated person and when the time is right, I have a feeling that a furry love will come into your lives! I wish you the best of luck in your new job, marriage and new start in life!

 

[elepri]

Oh I''m sorry you had to give her up but you really did what was best for her. Puppies are awesome but they''re such a huge responsibility, it really is almost like having a kid. But you''re not at all like a failed parent, taking her to a pound, that would be a failure, giving her back where you know she''ll end up in a great, loving home, I think that''s great parenting

 

[Jennifer5973]

I commend you for your decision. It took a lot of courage and selflessness. You did the right thing for the puppy, who needs someone with a lifestyle to handle puppyhood. I had a close friend who went through this (although horror of horrors, she impulse bought the puppy at a pet store

)...She ended up giiving the puppy to a breed rescue group who adopted him out immediately to a retired (and home all day) older couple whose own dog had just passed away. It will work out.

A suggestion for the future if you really want a dog is to perhaps look to adopt a 1-3 yr old dog from the shelter or rescue. Often, these dogs are trained and don''t require the same type of attention in this area as a puppy. However, an adopted dog may have other issues but these can usually be worked out with a little training and a lot of love.

Whatever your future holds, I think you did the right thing for you and the doggy. Take additional comfort that she can go back to the breeder, who no doubt will take great care of her.

 

[JessesGrl]

Thanks you everyone! I know this is a diamond forum and I am sorry about using up so much "space" to talk about a puppy but I am greatful for all the responses!!!! We learned a very valuable lesson and miss that face already but we know it''s the right thing....thanks again!

 

[bluedawg]

FWIW I also believe that your decision is best for you and FI and for the puppy. Jennifer''s idea is good-- you could adopt an adult dog once you start your job and get an idea of how your schedule will be.

I''m sorry you''ve been so upset over this whole thing. Hugs!

 

[Kaleigh]

You did the right thing!!! Must have been so tough for you, but she needs a lot of attention that you just can''t give at this time. Good job!!

 

[AGBF]

You are a kind and empathic woman. You will be a great mother to a human child (or children) and any other doggies that come along when you have that baby to whom you were referring. I went through something similar once. I had bought an Irish Setter puppy at a city pet store. He got distemper and almost died. After he recovered, he needed more care than I (a college student) could give him. He was still a baby. I couldn''t give him back to the horrible store that sold him to me. I found him a home with a lovely couple in Connecticut and they sent me some pictures as he grew up. Your dog will, I am sure, also end up in a home where he can receive lots of attention.

The breeder of my first post-marriage dog, a Golden Retriever, refused to let her go home with me while I was still teaching in May! I had to wait until June, when school let out, to take her. The breeder wanted to be sure she wasn''t left alone!!!

Deb

 

[Diachi]

Date: 5/14/2005 8:05:15 AM
Author: bluedawg
Jennifer''s idea is good-- you could adopt an adult dog once you start your job and get an idea of how your schedule will be. !

FYI-Another GREAT place to get a "pre-trained" dog (my silly boyfriend calls them "used dogs) is from a show breeder (most are very reputable and there for the life of all of their dogs). We often find that we have either a young adult, or an older dog that doesn''t meet our expectations or developed (often unseen to the untrained eye) a quirk that we can''t live with and place them for a very good price (sometimes free[$$)]) in new homes.