Quagmire

[Gypsy]

So I got home last night and John and a present waiting for me. A certificate for a full spa day at a local spa and reservations at the Ritz for Sunday Brunch. Note said that I work too hard, and pamper myself too little so he wanted to make sure I get some pampering in this anniversary. Very sweet.

Neurotic note. We could have gone a way for a few days for the cost of this (pampering I would prefer), I could finish some redecorating projects, or I could get the setting sooner. Am I crazy and stupid (feel free to administer kick in pants if needed) to be thinking like this.

Now the problem: WHAT THE HECK DO I GET HIM. He always puts me first. I want to put him first. I tried Mets tickets, they aren''t playing out here again this season. I thought about the wine chiller (but now he says he doesn''t want that for a while). He doesn''t have any real hobbies except compu

ter games and he has a ton of those. I want something really male oriented.

A beer making set up? He wanted to do that. Um... a Ken Onion knife? HELP. I need some suggestions please. I tried for reservations for Ken Danko''s restuarant in SF-- I''m on the wait list, though as it was last minute.

How do you pamper a man? He gets regular massages, he can''t stand anyone to touch his feet... and um... that''s it.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

Does he play golf? You could send him off to an afternoon of golf with his buddies followed by a night at the bar (if he drinks). Or you could get him a new club and a box of his fave balls. Does he really get regular massages? That''s so cool if he does!

 

[Regular Guy]

Though this is mostly variable...

music?
photography stuff?
gadgets...
Tom Tom...gps type
work out equipment
for fathers day, I got my wife to agree to repair ours

good for you for thinking about this!

 

[Mara]

i'm just curious but when is the anni? is this the first time you are thinking about his gift?

 

[luckystar112]

I thought this thread was going to be about family guy.

GIGGITY!!!

You could get him a mini kegerator to put in the garage. My boyfriend had one a while back and he LOVED it. (Wow, he sounds like a real alcoholic when I say that. haha. He''s definitely not.) They make them for half kegs. It was cool to have draft beer whenever you wanted, whether you were hanging on the patio or having a barbeque...or having some guys over to watch the game. Everyone was jealous of it.

 

[Regular Guy]

Hey wait...

Date: 6/22/2007 1:54:09 PM
Author:Gypsy

Neurotic note. We could have gone a way for a few days for the cost of this (pampering I would prefer), I could finish some redecorating projects, or I could get the setting sooner. Am I crazy and stupid (feel free to administer kick in pants if needed) to be thinking like this.

Now the problem: WHAT THE HECK DO I GET HIM. He always puts me first. I want to put him first.

Set it up to go away for a few days...make happen what you thought he might have done. Win/win.

I''d say it''s a sex thing, where we guys remember...but that''s silly, isn''t it? It might be more like that in my house, it''s pretty variable, based on personality types, I''m sure.

Strike while the fire is hot. Good for you for acting now, and writing here....

 

[surfgirl]

well, I''m not a guy but I was thinking along Regular Guy''s lines! There''s something that you can give him that no man I''ve ever known would turn up his nose at...but I wont say it here.

But yeah, why not plan a fun weekend away somewhere? Mix things up a bit!

 

[Aloros]

Is he interested in the Nintendo Wii at all? It would take some work getting a hold of, though. It came out in November and there are still shortages. I can vouch for its level of fun...I had some friends over to paint (we''re all artists), and I was the only one who ended up painting! Everyone else was too busy playing tennis or boxing against each other (the controllers are motion-sensitive, which is what make it so cool). It''s the lowest priced of the newer consoles, too.

The beer-making kit sounds like fun, too. I know a guy who has one, and he gets a real big kick out of it. We all get to benefit from the fruits of his labor, too

Does he like to fix things? You could always get him a really nice set of tools.

Lingerie''s always a nice way to pamper your guy.

I''m having the same sort of difficulty. Our anniversary is coming up fast, and I never really celebrated anniversaries with the ex, so I didn''t know you''re supposed to get your SO a gift! I''m debating between either a SCUBA wristwatch or underwater housing for his camera.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 6/22/2007 2:01:25 PM
Author: Mara
i'm just curious but when is the anni? is this the first time you are thinking about his gift?

Very valid question. Anni is TOMORROW.

And no, this is not the first time we've talked about it.

First we limited gifts to under 100 bucks (several weeks ago) -- I was going to get him the wine chilller.

THEN we said no gifts, we'll go to Resort at Sqauw Creek for 3 days and get away. Then John nixed that idea and said no gifts we'll do day trips.

THEN he does this last night.

And I'm all in a bind. He says he meant "no gifts for him"

BUt that's not okay with me.

He's drving me batty.

He doesn't play golf. Thanks for the suggestion though.


As for Regular Guys suggestions... I um thanked him for the gift along those line last night. But short of a marathon... I really want to get him something else... I'll keep um... giving him THOSE presents regardless.

I'm thinking of getting him the beer kit and the BBQ set up he wants now. If I leave for lunch in a few I can probably grab those at home depot. Hmm.

 

[decodelighted]

How to reciprocate:

1) appreciate like you've never appreciated before. savor & recount every second about the spa services & allow yourself to really, really enjoy them. GUSH. Let him see, feel, experience how happy it made you (even if you're secretly fantisizing about the $$'s "better" uses).

2) b**k his brains out

3) repeat step #1

4) repeat step #2


ETA: This isn't a new "project" you have to work out yanno ... he wanted you to RELAX. That IS your gift to him. To RELAX for a few days. Believe me, he'll notice & enjoy that if you really, truly do it. He doesn't want THINGS -- he wants a happy lady. He wants to have pleased you and for you not to be re-spending the $$ in your mind (no matter how tempting it is to do so -- because it's a CONTROL issue!!)

Let. Go. Relax. ... Do. Not. Shop.

 

[Gypsy]

Running to Home Depot to see what I can find.

He LOVES AND ADORES growing tomatoe plants. I''ll see if I can get the grill set up, some tomato stakes and so forth... and maybe the beer kit.

And something skimpy at Saks Outlet.

 

[Mara]

i agree with deco. don't freak out. resist the urge. it sounds like he wants you to relax with the day of pampering, i doubt his gift was expected to stress you out.

what about beers of the world from cost plus? greg loves that kind of stuff. or if he likes specialty beers, gift card to bevmo. greg's favorite shopping haven, he is like a kid in a candy store. though honestly my husband is jazzed with a sweet handwritten card from me and nothing else. he's so easy to please.

the other thing i realize is that most men don't think of gifts the way women do...aka requirement or whatever. he just wanted to do something nice for you. that's thoughtful. if you want to do something nice for him, relaxing might be a nice start. cook him a nice dinner, take a nice walk. maybe spending some quality, non-stressed/neurotic time together would be a big gift for him.

 

[monarch64]

Girl, you don''t have to buy him anything in return!

Answer the door naked!!! Go from there!!! Now there''s some manly pampering.

 

[monarch64]

Can''t edit my post for some reason, but wanted to add that if he loves growing tomato plants, Hammacher Schlemmer has those upside-down tomato plant grower things for $70. They''re really cool, we got one for DH''s parents this past Christmas and they planted tomatos and herbs in it this season, you can even put cucumbers or peppers or whatever in there.

 

[Gypsy]

Okay, so I DID get him garden stakes for the tomatoe jungle on one of our patios and the grill cart he wanted. And I WILL get the beers of the World (perfect Mara)... plus I got him these really comfy deck chairs (2) so that we could spend some "quality, non-stressed/neurotic time together" as a gift this weekend.


I will also stop stressing. Deco you are 100% right about the control issue. I WILL enjoy the day of pampering. And I will at some point, show up naked. LOL.

Monarch... I will definitely have to look into those Hammacher Schlemmer growers if we move. But our current apartment has two HUGE patios, one of which is a tomatoe jungle (I kid you not it''s like a rainforest of tomatoes-- he''s got a serious green thumb).


I will also get him a nice card to tell him how much he means to me, what a wondeful man he is, and how much I appreciate all that he does for me... all the time, everyday... not just on special occasions.

I''m a very luckly woman to have such a wonderful man.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 6/22/2007 2:18:41 PM
Author: decodelighted
How to reciprocate:

1) appreciate like you''ve never appreciated before. savor & recount every second about the spa services & allow yourself to really, really enjoy them. GUSH. Let him see, feel, experience how happy it made you (even if you''re secretly fantisizing about the $$''s ''better'' uses).

2) b**k his brains out

3) repeat step #1

4) repeat step #2


ETA: This isn''t a new ''project'' you have to work out yanno ... he wanted you to RELAX. That IS your gift to him. To RELAX for a few days. Believe me, he''ll notice & enjoy that if you really, truly do it. He doesn''t want THINGS -- he wants a happy lady. He wants to have pleased you and for you not to be re-spending the $$ in your mind (no matter how tempting it is to do so -- because it''s a CONTROL issue!!)

Let. Go. Relax. ... Do. Not. Shop.

Hehehehe that is funny. That is what my hubby would say. Men!

What a sweet guy Gypsy!

 

[chiefneil]

This is a little late, but just fyi. If he''s into computer games, there are high-resolution mice specifically for computer gaming that he might like if he doesn''t already have one. I have an high-end mouse, and the other day I had to use a regular mouse for a day and it was truly frustrating having to go back, so they do make a big difference. Also, if he doesn''t already have one, a nice flat-screen monitor would be great. Something with a high-res, like 1600x1200 or higher, in a 20" size or larger, can be had for about $300 - $400.

 

[Kit]

Wow. All I can say is, if I ever got home and my FI had a surprise present of that magnitude waiting for me I would eat it up with a spoon. Count your blessings and let him love you the way he does. If he is surprising you with a big gift, maybe this is how he wants you to treat him, similarly, and you could try doing a mirror gift.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I really don''t believe in trying to match gifts. I think showing your appreciation is what he''d want in return for his gift. Then one day when there is something HE really wants, then you can surprise him. But I wouldn''t spend money on something he really had not expressed a desire for just to try to match his gift.

 

[Julianna]

Date: 6/22/2007 2:08:12 PM
Author: luckystar112
I thought this thread was going to be about family guy.

GIGGITY!!!

So did I!! Giggity giggity. Giggity goo.

Yeesh.

That was the opposite of helpful as far as the subject of presents, but I had to give a shout out.