Question about expected RSVPs

[mrscushion]

We are getting married next year in a DW in Italy. We have not yet confirmed a date, but are pretty sure the wedding will be Labor Day weekend or the weekend before that.

Many guests reside in the U.S. I have been told to expect an attendance rate of around 50% for guests traveling overseas.

HOWEVER, everyone we've talked to over here in the States has been quick to tell us that they just cannot wait to attend our wedding. We just came home from dinner with another couple who we had (for various reasons) securely placed on the "never-gonna-make-it" list in our minds. They told us that while they had originally planned an Italian vacation for this summer, they were now going to Scandinavia and saving Italy for next year because they "will be over there anyway for your wedding."

My question for past brides and brides who are past the RSVP stage: did/do your actual RSVPs match up with what people initially said they were going to do? I.e., does everyone say they're going to attend because it's the nice thing to say, but then actual plans turn out totally differently? What's been your experience?

Thanks for any insight!

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Hi mcushion

I can''t answer your question specifically but i thought you might be interested to know that the DW we went to last year, the bride and groom invited 80 - 90 guests thinking that 30 would turn up and they had 80 - 90 guests attend the wedding. We were told of the date about 6 months before and everyone that said yes then made it to the wedding.

I think people see a DW as a great excuse for a holiday... we wouldn''t have gone to Bali last year but we were invited to the wedding and we jumped at the chance for a holiday.

So i would be thinking that if they say yes now, they will be coming as long as there are no unforseen circumstances that might stop them from making it.

Hope this helps a bit!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I think it would totally depend on who the guests are and how much money they have. I''ll bet some people would get much less than 50% for a wedding in Europe.

 

[CDNinNYC]

Date: 6/23/2009 8:43:07 AM
Author: diamondseeker2006
I think it would totally depend on who the guests are and how much money they have. I'll bet some people would get much less than 50% for a wedding in Europe.

I agree with diamondseeker2006. There's no way to predict. We had a number of guests who assured us they they couldn't wait to come; yet those same people either declined or didn't even bother sending a declined RSVP.

We had less than 50% come to our DW.

 

[wannaBMrsH]

My experience has been the opposite as has been that of several brides I know. We are having only about 20% turnout and that is because SOOOOO many people told us "oh we wouldn''t miss it!" and "we can''t wait!" and then they never booked.

We were initially only inviting about 75 people because we were trying to avoid a down home wedding, but people that were just acquaintances started talking to us about how fun our wedding was going to be! So we added more people to the invite list and what do you know?...they were just talking...

When it came down to it, we had all kinds of excuses, "Oh, I don''t use my vacation time for weddings" "we don''t have any money, since we are taking a luxury 21 day cruise the month after your wedding" "I''ve heard the DR has really bad water" "What if the flu virus hits?" "I am afraid of hurricanes"...and on and on...

In the end, only the people that we initially thought are coming minus several of my friends due to the economy, but it is still right around 40 guests.

We went to a DW last year, I posted about this in another thread, but they had a very low turnout (about 10 guests including parents) because people found out that they were already married. No fun!

 

[mrscushion]

Thanks to all of you that replied. Very helpful.

I guess the upshot is, it''s pretty unpredictable. Financially, most of our U.S. guests are in the position to take an attend and make a summer vacation out of it. However, some of them may not be that great at planning in advance.

I''m not concerned with a low turnout (less than 50%), that would be fine -- we would love to have a really small wedding. It''s the high turnout I fear. I guess we will have to strike a delicate balance with our invite list.

 

[zipzapgirl]

I just got married in Italy a few weeks ago, so maybe I can give some insight

We let people know about the date and town about 11 months before via email, with a link to the venue, a NY Times article about the region and info on best airports. We invited about 150 people, but we knew a lot of those wouldn''t come--many of them were courtesy invites to distant family members. Our final count was 47 people, not including 2 who cancelled a few days before due to family illness.

As far as RSVP quota went, it was vastly different for DH''s side and mine. I had about 20% say yes, he had about 50%. BUT, his family, especially on his father''s side, love to travel, so they came as a big group and rented a house together. Also, there are more retired aunts and uncles on his side who had plenty of time and live in various parts of the world. My extended family really aren''t travelers--they don''t have passports and didn''t view the trip as something they could actually do--it just seemed too foreign to them. A lot of my childhood friends also already have small children, so that presented dilemmas for them whether to go with and pay the airfare or feel guilty leaving them at home.

We had several ups and downs where we felt that NO ONE is coming or started to freak out that 100 people would show up. We had estimated 60 and got pretty close to the right number.

I''d say you should consider these factors and try not to take a too rosy or pessimistic view:
- Do they have a passport/Have they been abroad before?
- Do they like to travel?
- Have they recently started a new job/had a baby/had a significant financial event?
- Are they attending a lot of other weddings that year?
- How close are they to you?
- How far is it for them and how hard is it to get an affordable flight?

The great thing is that you''ll definitely know the numbers 2-4 months out--no surprise guests

 

[mrscushion]

Date: 6/23/2009 12:41:13 PM
Author: zipzapgirl
I just got married in Italy a few weeks ago, so maybe I can give some insight

Oh, wow, zipzapgirl, I didn''t know that. Whereabouts did you get married? Would you do it again?

Thanks for your post, very helpful.