A
Anonymous
Guest
I''ve been thinking about this for a while, and I''d love to do it (I''ll explain why), but I''m just not sure how realistic it is, or if it''s "appropriate". Soooo, here goes....
FI and I set a date for June 30, 2011. We''re in California but the wedding is to take place in New York, where all of his family is at. We plan to have about 60 people, and all of them will be FI''s friends (about 10 ppl), family (about 15) and his mom''s friends (about 30). The rest will be my family, which will probably only be myself and our girls (my 5 and 7 year old daughters from my previous marriage). We already have a location picked out and his mom is just an awesome source of love and support for both of us. She has offered to help us with virtually every aspect of the wedding (flowers from relatives, photography from a professional photographer friend, etc. etc.) and already booked the reception location for us. We chose that date because we want to have a family honeymoon of sorts, because we know that the girls won''t get to go back to NY again for a while and we want them to get to know everyone and take them to Niagara Falls, etc. The girls are VERY excited to go, and I think it would just be a wonderful experience for all of us that I''m really happy about.
So on almost every front, it''s perfect...except that it''s over a year away. I know that FI is the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with, I don''t need another year to figure that out. We''ve been together for almost 3 years now, and have lived together for a year now. We''re both "older" (I''m 33, he''s 30 next month) and I''m just ready to be his wife NOW. I want him to have my benefits (I have excellent health insurance, which he REALLY needs and his insurance isn''t nearly as good). I am also worried about finances. Even with all of the reduced price and free things that his mom is able to arrange, we''re still looking at several thousand dollars that we simply don''t have. We''re saving, and we *might* have enough by then, but it will pretty much take every penny of our savings, leaving us to start from scratch savings wise again.
I''ve also been married before. FI''s Catholic, and I''ve been attending with him but I was married in a Baptist church when I was 21. We''d like to get married in the Church if possible, but aren''t sure that there will be enough time because it takes upwards of a year to get my previous marriage nullified (I actually don''t even have a clue if it''s going to be possible yet, we are going to speak with the priest this week). So there are a lot of stressful complications that I really wish we could avoid.
So I was thinking of this...Is it acceptable to legally be married this summer (or in October when his mom, aunt and uncle visit as they already have the trip booked), then fly out there and have a reception and spiritual ceremony for our original date? I know that Jaylex had a thread that has a fairly similar question, but I feel like our situation is quite a bit different because the reason we have to make it next year is for financial reasons (we need to save a LOT) and to give people time to get their flights situated (us and a couple of FI''s friends).
I guess I''m just looking for a less difficult path that would allow FI to take care of his medical issues NOW, not a year from now, because I love him and want him to be around for the rest of my life...and the very last thing I want is to have his health suffer because we want to have a "big" (by our standards) wedding!
But I also don''t want to take the ceremony away from him - I want his family (his sister, his mom, his grandparents, his best friend, etc. etc.) to be able to be there, because I know that''s important to him. Argh! Is there any way we can "have our cake, and eat it too"?
Phew, sorry that was so long winded, and probably jumbled..but hopefully made enough sense!
FI and I set a date for June 30, 2011. We''re in California but the wedding is to take place in New York, where all of his family is at. We plan to have about 60 people, and all of them will be FI''s friends (about 10 ppl), family (about 15) and his mom''s friends (about 30). The rest will be my family, which will probably only be myself and our girls (my 5 and 7 year old daughters from my previous marriage). We already have a location picked out and his mom is just an awesome source of love and support for both of us. She has offered to help us with virtually every aspect of the wedding (flowers from relatives, photography from a professional photographer friend, etc. etc.) and already booked the reception location for us. We chose that date because we want to have a family honeymoon of sorts, because we know that the girls won''t get to go back to NY again for a while and we want them to get to know everyone and take them to Niagara Falls, etc. The girls are VERY excited to go, and I think it would just be a wonderful experience for all of us that I''m really happy about.
So on almost every front, it''s perfect...except that it''s over a year away. I know that FI is the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with, I don''t need another year to figure that out. We''ve been together for almost 3 years now, and have lived together for a year now. We''re both "older" (I''m 33, he''s 30 next month) and I''m just ready to be his wife NOW. I want him to have my benefits (I have excellent health insurance, which he REALLY needs and his insurance isn''t nearly as good). I am also worried about finances. Even with all of the reduced price and free things that his mom is able to arrange, we''re still looking at several thousand dollars that we simply don''t have. We''re saving, and we *might* have enough by then, but it will pretty much take every penny of our savings, leaving us to start from scratch savings wise again.
I''ve also been married before. FI''s Catholic, and I''ve been attending with him but I was married in a Baptist church when I was 21. We''d like to get married in the Church if possible, but aren''t sure that there will be enough time because it takes upwards of a year to get my previous marriage nullified (I actually don''t even have a clue if it''s going to be possible yet, we are going to speak with the priest this week). So there are a lot of stressful complications that I really wish we could avoid.
So I was thinking of this...Is it acceptable to legally be married this summer (or in October when his mom, aunt and uncle visit as they already have the trip booked), then fly out there and have a reception and spiritual ceremony for our original date? I know that Jaylex had a thread that has a fairly similar question, but I feel like our situation is quite a bit different because the reason we have to make it next year is for financial reasons (we need to save a LOT) and to give people time to get their flights situated (us and a couple of FI''s friends).
I guess I''m just looking for a less difficult path that would allow FI to take care of his medical issues NOW, not a year from now, because I love him and want him to be around for the rest of my life...and the very last thing I want is to have his health suffer because we want to have a "big" (by our standards) wedding!
Phew, sorry that was so long winded, and probably jumbled..but hopefully made enough sense!
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