Question for you Brides out there

[lulutheleo]

Hey Ladies! I have a question for you brides out there, hoping you can help me out.

Situation: My big brother is getting married in June, and the MOH in the wedding called me last night to tell me when the Bachelorette Party is (I am a bridesmaid). She wants to have it on the Wednesday before the wedding (actually, she told me she was thinking about having it Friday night, but someone reminded her that the Groom''s Dinner is that night! Duh.)

So, if this is the date that it happens, it means that I have to take another 2 days off of work (already a tough fit at my workplace to get the Friday off for Grooms Dinner). Do you think I should voice my concern over the date of the bachelorette party? First of all, I think it would be much more fun for the bride to have it on a weekend night. Plus, the week before the wedding is usually pretty crazy for the couple, isn''t it?? Also, it''s inconvenient for me, since I''m the only one living out of town, I need to make more arrangements for where I''m going to stay. But, it''s not my party so I''m not sure if I should say anything. If you were the Bride, would you want to know??

Note: MOH and I aren''t really best buds.

Would love to hear your thoughts. Thanks!

 

[Caribou]

Date: 3/30/2006 9:31:33 AM
Author:lulutheleo
Hey Ladies! I have a question for you brides out there, hoping you can help me out.

Situation: My big brother is getting married in June, and the MOH in the wedding called me last night to tell me when the Bachelorette Party is (I am a bridesmaid). She wants to have it on the Wednesday before the wedding (actually, she told me she was thinking about having it Friday night, but someone reminded her that the Groom''s Dinner is that night! Duh.)

So, if this is the date that it happens, it means that I have to take another 2 days off of work (already a tough fit at my workplace to get the Friday off for Grooms Dinner). Do you think I should voice my concern over the date of the bachelorette party? First of all, I think it would be much more fun for the bride to have it on a weekend night. Plus, the week before the wedding is usually pretty crazy for the couple, isn''t it?? Also, it''s inconvenient for me, since I''m the only one living out of town, I need to make more arrangements for where I''m going to stay. But, it''s not my party so I''m not sure if I should say anything. If you were the Bride, would you want to know??

Note: MOH and I aren''t really best buds.

Would love to hear your thoughts. Thanks!

What''s a Groom''s dinner? Is it the rehersal dinner?

I would voice my concern....I''m 99.9% sure the bride would rather it be on a weekend night as well. At least I would and I''m not much of a partier.

 

[lulutheleo]

Yeah -- Groom''s Dinner = Rehearsal Dinner. Sorry, wrong lingo! That''s what my mom calls it, so that''s what I call it.

 

[Caribou]

Date: 3/30/2006 9:47:27 AM
Author: lulutheleo
Yeah -- Groom''s Dinner = Rehearsal Dinner. Sorry, wrong lingo! That''s what my mom calls it, so that''s what I call it.

I''ve heard people say that but I just thought they meant the bachelor party.

Anywho, I would be a little upset if my MOH waited until 2-3 days before my wedding to have my bachelorette party. I would talk to the MOH, tell her your concerns, if she chooses not to change the plans (who wants to party on a week night?) then you have to do what you have to do. Maybe just show up for a few hours?

 

[ivanadiamond]

Hi,

I totally agree witht the other ladies, I would much rather have a bachelorette party weeks before my wedding and not on a week night. Mine was two weeks prior. But is it possible that she is planning it midweek so close to their wedding because a lot of the people the bride wants to invite are from out of town and can''t come twice? that would be the only reason I could see why she is planning it so close to the wedding day.

Also if you can''t go, don''t stress out. Sometimes we can''t do every thing even when we wish we could. I didn''t expect my husbands sister to fly out for my shower or my bachelorette. She lives in N Carolina and we are in California. I did go to hers but it was in Vegas. And as fun as it was, she would have had just as great of a time without me.

But I would ask the MOH if the bride wants it on that date or would prefer a weekend prior to the big day.

 

[Tybee]

I would voice my concern as well. It''s hard for a lot of people to go out during a weeknight.
Most bachelorette parties that I have attended have been a couple of weeks before the wedding.
As a bride, I wouldn''t want it so close! Personally, I plan on hydrating and getting lots of sleep
before my wedding day.

 

[tanyak]

This is a long shot, but is it possible that the bride or others in the wedding party work on the weekends, hence the weekday party. For example, I went to a bach. party on a Monday night in October. Five out of the eight people at the party were newspaper copy editors who all normally work Friday and Saturday nights. There was no way everyone could get the time off, hence the Monday night party. We actually had a blast! Everyone isn''t off on "nomal" weekends.

This bach. party was held three weeks before the wedding, but I''ve heard of them being held during the wedding week. As someone upthread said, it''s sometimes easier if people would have to do a lot of traveling otherwise.

 

[Faerievert]

Does the bride know about these plans? Because I really think it should be her say whether or not it''s ok. If you''re the only OOT one, would it really be that big of a deal if you couldn''t make it? I mean if it''s convenient for everyone else, they shouln''t have to change it just for you. My bachelorette party, if I even have one will either be the Thursday before my Saturday wedding, or maybe another week before on a Wednesday. It would be a shame if you can''t make it- but I don''t think you should take 2 extra days off of work just to be there.

 

[lulutheleo]

Thanks for everyone''s input. From what I am reading from you guys, I should probably touch base with the bride and MOH. You guys are right, it''s her party and we should all make sure that the date works for her. My main question really was if I should bring my concerns up at all, but it sounds like that wouldn''t be such a bad thing to ask her what she thinks about the date, and maybe bring up that it might be a little chaotic for her during that last week before the wedding. In a nice, FSIL way, right??

Thanks so much!!

 

[flopkins]

well, speaking as someone who is getting married next week (ack!) the LAST thing I would want to do the WEd before the wedding is party hard... there are a million things I want to take care of and the stress of recovering the next day would be too much for me. But that''s me personally. My bach party was almost two months before the wedding.

ARe a lot of the bridal party from out of town? THat might be why she wants to do it midweek, and get it all done together. But if she''s planning a ladies night out, Wed is going to be pretty dead at most places...

I would definitely talk to MOH and see if she ran it by the FSIL... or talk to the FSIL herself if you''re more comfortable... I would present it as whether the bride feels comfortabe with it, and not emphasize as much a personal scheduling problem until things play out more.