Question from Delster''s BF...

[Delster]

I hope I manage to set this up right...

Last night on the phone BF asked me what my 'internet friends' would choose, if they had to choose between a beautiful engagement ring OR an amazing trip with their beloved, travelling around the world for 6 whole months. Choosing to travel means putting off not just the ring but engagement and marriage because he wants to 'do it right'.

So, ladies, how do you vote?

 

[Independent Gal]

Well, that totally would depend on where I was in life. If I were 22 or even 26, I''d be all ''Let''s travel the worllllld!!!'' But I''ve already sort of traveled the world by now. Although there''s still lots to see (never been to Antarctica! or Bhutan! or Galapagos!). And I''m around the three decade mark and ready for a family. So NOW I would say ''let''s get hitched. we''ll travel more later''.

Is a smaller ring and a loooong honeymoon an option?

 

[Delster]

Hey IndyGal!

Nope, according to BF a smaller ring and long honeymoon is not an option - one's fictional BF wants to 'do it right'. I inserted that option anyway though!

I've messaged admin for rescue but for anyone looking at this, here are the possible answers I had inserted but which somehow didn't show up, whatever I was at!

1. Enough already, bring on the bling!

2. What's the rush? Let's sail off into the sunset...

3. For heaven's sake boy, they're not mutually exclusive, I don't need the Hope Diamond!

 

[ladyciel]

Hmmm, tough for me to answer because I''ve never been in a position where traveling for 6 months would be remotely possible. Not necessarily from a money standpoint for costs of the trip, but for dropping school/work/responsibilities for that long. Actually, I think I would go a little crazy on a 6 month trip. Too long for me. I think I''d pick 1 month trip + ring and marriage.

 

[Delster]

Andrey, thank you for fixing my botched poll!

 

[Stephanie]

I would like to know more about the travel.. Would it be all at once or split up? Where all would you go? I love to travel, but six months is a lot of travel time. How would you pack?! I would like the traveling, the adventure - if I could set it up appropriately.

 

[gwendolyn]

Ooooooooh, that''s a good question (I''m both a diamond fanatic AND a travel fanatic!!)....

One the one hand, you''ll have your engagement ring forever, whereas a vacation will come and go.

On the other hand, you''ll have an amazing experience, heaps of bonding time, and the sort of trip most people only fantasize about, and travel (in my opinion) is the best way to learn about just about everything, so not only would your trip be fun, but you would learn things you''d never know otherwise.

Six months sounds amazing, but it actually might be too long (unless you were to take one of those cruise ships that travels around the world, so you don''t have to haul your luggage every few days or weeks). It''s absolutely amazing to travel, but it''s also tiring and can be stressful.

Therefore, after considerable thought, I would say I''d cut the trip back to 3 months, get a stellar rock, and sleep soundly knowing that my insides are eating each other with envy because I would LOVE to have this decision to make!

 

[Mara]

hmm i voted bring on the bling but i am a noted diamond whore so my vote is biased.

for me it would depend on what the ring needs to be like for you. i like the last one 'aka the two are not mutually exclusive'...because you could do something like both....travel for 3-4 months instead of 6 and get a smaller ring if that is really what you both wanted to do.

for me though i have never been a big 'world traveler'...i like smaller trips and i like to be sure we can do them right, aka i am too old to be cutting corners on the cost and trying to find cheaper places ala hostels to stay etc.

also for me the ring is more 'forever'. sure i am a chronic upgrader who is always daydreaming about how to change my ring, but it brings me so much joy overall...and we both love the stone and the ring. so for us it's a bond as well, not just the ring itself but more what's invested in it....heart and soul from both of us because we both had a huge hand in creating and modifying it, both on the same page about things. i also remember when i was dying to just get engaged already and i don't think a 6 month trip would have made me go 'oh sure yeah lets put it off another 9 months!'. nope no way no how. don't men know that you can't separate a woman and her potential diamondslashengagement for very long??

it always kind of bothers me when guys pull this because i also am like hello it's not just one or the other. why is it so black and white? a friend has been living with her bf for a year now, they have been together for i think 3 years, and they are talking marriage. it will most likely happen but he told her recently that this one week hawaii trip they took could have been her engagement ring. i was like okay why tell you that and what would you have chosen. she said she still would have chosen the trip. i would have chosen the ring and more importantly, the engagement i would be wanting at that point.

so i'd say ring OR the last non mututally exclusive one...depending on the trip, the ring, if both can be modified etc. i would also be like hey look buddy, don't i get a say in this? like a REAL say, not just an internet poll say? hehe. good luck.

 

[NYCsparkle]

if you could afford to travel for 6 months, then why can''t you make the trip a bit shorter and "budget in "an engagement ring? you can do both.

 

[DMBsGirl]

I voted for both, my second choice would be no trip/yes bling. Like Mara pointed out, the trip would not make me forget my engagement fever. The whole trip I''d be checking out others hands and be reminded that I am not engaged or married.

 

[anchor31]

I voted that they are not mutually exclusive. Ordinarily I'd say travel over bling, but if it would hold up marriage together... No way. For me, marriage to my beloved is more important than ANYTHING, whether it be bling or travel.

ETA: My suggestion: Get a smaller ring now, travel, and then... UPGRADE!

 

[bee*]

Yeah I agree. I don't think that they are mutually exclusive either. D and I have travelled a lot and are planning to do more travel but I don't want to travel as much as I want to get engaged and married to him. I would try and speak to him and maybe cut a month or two off your travels and get your ring out of that money.

 

[Miscka]

I am with the others, a shorter trip with some bling! If it were me, I would go on the trip and think a lot about my decision and be afraid I would regret it. So I would be tempted to take the bling if I had to choose.

On the other hand (ok so I am not helpful at this!) I believe you are/about to be a lawyer (or the equivalent, sorry I dont know these things) in the UK? It might be nice to travel and have that time before your career makes it too hard to get away. Let us know what you decide!

 

[baby monster]

Date: 8/10/2007 9:10:26 AM
Author: ladyciel
Hmmm, tough for me to answer because I''ve never been in a position where traveling for 6 months would be remotely possible. Not necessarily from a money standpoint for costs of the trip, but for dropping school/work/responsibilities for that long. Actually, I think I would go a little crazy on a 6 month trip. Too long for me. I think I''d pick 1 month trip + ring and marriage.

ITA. I''m not at a point in my life or career to drop everything and go, so I would pick a ring. You can always go on vacation later.

 

[E B]

Delster, if you''re in a position to travel around the world for 6 months, TAKE THE TRIP, GIRL! However, I voted the two aren''t mutually exclusive, so I''d want an engagement ring, too, from a place that''ll allow upgrades if you''re wanting something bigger than the budget will allow combined with the trip.

6 months travel around the world. I mean, how often is one in a position to do that? I''m so, so jealous. And I''d take the trip, provided he presented me with *some* sort of ring to seal the engagement deal.

 

[Delster]

Oooh! Antarctica! Bhutan! The Galapagos! The whole world!

Well as you''ve all cleverly worked out (and of course I knew you would

), this is only partly hypothetical. Our real situation is similar but it isn''t as stark as the poll choices! So, to provide a little more detail and try to answer all the questions (forgive me if I miss anyone)...

So the travel. The travel plans are definitely not for a vacation, and for us, a shorter trip wouldn''t be the same thing (we''ve actually taken off for a whole month before and it was great). This trip was originally meant to be a whole year working our way around the world. It would be Asia, the Antipodes, and South America. We''d stop for a few weeks and do some work with Habitat for Humanity. It would mean giving up our jobs and putting our lives at home on hold for a while. It would be a once in a lifetime thing. Unfortunately though, it''s been put off several times for work and study reasons. But right now we have a six month window from next March to next September when we could do a mini version of our original trip. Our friends who have done similar trips have gone for 18 months so by comparison to those trips, this is ''travel lite''!

And on to the ring. I get what Mara says about not accepting everything being put off for nine months in order to go travelling. But for me, I don''t feel like things would be ''put off''. Sure, getting a ring would be delayed but I''m not so anxious to have a ring very soon. Going on my own timeline alone, I''d like to wait another year to 18 months. I already feel virtually engaged. And to what Anchor said, I don''t feel like our marriage would be held up if we travelled. He has given me every commitment I need and we have a timeline that I am very happy with. We have a rough date in mind when we could get married and that won''t change. What can change, dependant on the travel plans, is when the proposal happens.

Miscka, I am a lawyer, just newly qualified, but it took me a while to get here! Would you believe I have three law degrees at this stage? I worked for three years after my masters, and did lots of travelling on my three month Summer holidays. My career plan is to start my devilling (one year apprenticeship) in October. Hence the travel would have to end in September.

Mara, thanks for the words of advice! Rest assured, I DO get a real say in this We won''t make any decisions based on what you ladies would do (wise as you all are!

), we''ll do what suits us best.

The poll obviously doesn''t reflect all the nuances of our situation but it wasn''t really meant to. I was just curious what others would do with a similar (not identical!) choice. Keep the votes coming ladies, I love reading them!

 

[gwendolyn]

Do it! It''s seeing the world with the one you love while helping people! What could be better?

 

[Picos]

Since you''re in a position to travel, I''d say travel!!

But I really (really, really) like to travel. I spent my teenage years traveling around the world.

 

[redfaerythinker]

I would travel for a shorter time and get a ring too. Although that decision would never arise for me cause I come from an ultra conservative family that would never let me go travelling with a man that was not my husband! But since you are lucky I vote for the ring and the shorter trip to celebrate your love and new commitment!

 

[princesss]

Ok, keeping in mind that I am about to start my senior year of college, I voted for wanderlust. You have a timeline you''re happy with, and traveling won''t delay it. So travel! Oh my goodness, if I could take 6 months and travel anywhere I wanted I think I''d be in heaven. You''re so lucky that you''re able to do that!

 

[anchor31]

Date: 8/10/2007 3:39:55 PM
Author: Delster
Oooh! Antarctica! Bhutan! The Galapagos! The whole world!

Well as you''ve all cleverly worked out (and of course I knew you would

), this is only partly hypothetical. Our real situation is similar but it isn''t as stark as the poll choices! So, to provide a little more detail and try to answer all the questions (forgive me if I miss anyone)...

So the travel. The travel plans are definitely not for a vacation, and for us, a shorter trip wouldn''t be the same thing (we''ve actually taken off for a whole month before and it was great). This trip was originally meant to be a whole year working our way around the world. It would be Asia, the Antipodes, and South America. We''d stop for a few weeks and do some work with Habitat for Humanity. It would mean giving up our jobs and putting our lives at home on hold for a while. It would be a once in a lifetime thing. Unfortunately though, it''s been put off several times for work and study reasons. But right now we have a six month window from next March to next September when we could do a mini version of our original trip. Our friends who have done similar trips have gone for 18 months so by comparison to those trips, this is ''travel lite''!

And on to the ring. I get what Mara says about not accepting everything being put off for nine months in order to go travelling. But for me, I don''t feel like things would be ''put off''. Sure, getting a ring would be delayed but I''m not so anxious to have a ring very soon. Going on my own timeline alone, I''d like to wait another year to 18 months. I already feel virtually engaged. And to what Anchor said, I don''t feel like our marriage would be held up if we travelled. He has given me every commitment I need and we have a timeline that I am very happy with. We have a rough date in mind when we could get married and that won''t change. What can change, dependant on the travel plans, is when the proposal happens.

Miscka, I am a lawyer, just newly qualified, but it took me a while to get here! Would you believe I have three law degrees at this stage? I worked for three years after my masters, and did lots of travelling on my three month Summer holidays. My career plan is to start my devilling (one year apprenticeship) in October. Hence the travel would have to end in September.

Mara, thanks for the words of advice! Rest assured, I DO get a real say in this We won''t make any decisions based on what you ladies would do (wise as you all are!

), we''ll do what suits us best.

The poll obviously doesn''t reflect all the nuances of our situation but it wasn''t really meant to. I was just curious what others would do with a similar (not identical!) choice. Keep the votes coming ladies, I love reading them!

Ok, but you did say in your original post, and I quote, "Choosing to travel means putting off not just the ring but engagement and marriage because he wants to ''do it right''." Which is why I said that to me, nothing is worth putting off marriage.

Anyway, good luck!

 

[Delster]

Date: 8/12/2007 10:10:22 AM
Author: anchor31

Ok, but you did say in your original post, and I quote, ''Choosing to travel means putting off not just the ring but engagement and marriage because he wants to ''do it right''.'' Which is why I said that to me, nothing is worth putting off marriage.

Anyway, good luck!

Oh yes, agreed! I would say the same as you were I actually in as stark a situation as the poll presents.

Can I say as well, I think your new avatar is beautiful

 

[anchor31]

Date: 8/12/2007 12:44:39 PM
Author: Delster

Date: 8/12/2007 10:10:22 AM
Author: anchor31

Ok, but you did say in your original post, and I quote, ''Choosing to travel means putting off not just the ring but engagement and marriage because he wants to ''do it right''.'' Which is why I said that to me, nothing is worth putting off marriage.

Anyway, good luck!

Oh yes, agreed! I would say the same as you were I actually in as stark a situation as the poll presents.

Can I say as well, I think your new avatar is beautiful

Aw, thank you! It''s from our engagement photo shoot, and we used it to make our Save the Dates.

 

[Pandora II]

If I was in my 20''s I''d definitely go for the travel option.

Being in my mid-30''s I would go for the bling as I don''t want to delay having a family for too long.

I spent most of my 20''s travelling and working abroad and while it didn''t make me rich in $$$, I have wonderful memories that will last forever. Diamonds will still be around when I get back, but an experience of that sort is once in a lifetime.

Also - think of all the bling you could buy on your trip from the actual countries of origin!