Question?....

nvmst · Jul 24, 2006

Hello All,

New to the site, but had a question that I''m hoping you can help with...

I just got engaged over the weekend to my best friend and it feels amazing. It''s overwhelming and exciting at the same time.

I met my sweetie 7 years ago, and although we clicked immediately it wasn''t the right time for us, as we were both dating other people. We would see each other throughout the years in passing, but about a year ago we crossed paths again and decided to develop our friendship and let our relationship happen naturally. It worked for us and I can truly say this man makes me completely happy and I feel loved and adored 24 hours a day.

We have a very understanding and loving relationship. We both value family and we appreciate the simple things in life. We strive for excellence in all that we do, and make it a point to excel in our careers in order to provide for ourselves and future family.

The proposal was sweet and extremely genuine.

On to the question I have...

The ring is smaller than something that I would have chosen for myself, simply because of style and the size of my hand. I know financial strain was an issue in selection, but I''m not asking for a more expensive ring or something flashier...just something different and a little larger on the finger. He has mentioned that my wedding ring will be amazing, and even acknowledging that this one was smaller than what he would like but he felt this time was right for him to make the commitmen despite finances. Growing up we all envision what "the ring" might look like and fantasize it on our finger. I am completely a romantic and I''m very sentimental. Do I mention that I would like a different ring to wear for the next year and a half, or should I tough it out and not offend my honey? If I do ask for something different does that take away from the sentimental value of the original?

Please help....and no I''m not a silly shallow materialistic b****. Just seeking advice.

ephemery1 · Jul 24, 2006

Date: 7/24/2006 3:57:56 PM
Author:nvmst

Please help....and no I'm not a silly shallow materialistic b****. Just seeking advice.

Poor NV, I don't think you are coming across as silly and shallow at all... just somebody who loves her fiance and doesn't want to hurt him, but is also being honest about her e-ring dreams.

Depending on the policies of the vendor where your fiance purchased the ring, your options may be limited with returning or trading in the ring for something different. If you ARE able to return/trade it, and really aren't looking for anything more expensive, just different... I would suggest having a conversation about it with your fiance. If both of you are okay with the idea of letting go of the sentimental value of your current ring and choosing something more suitable together, then go for it! But first make certain you are okay with the idea yourself. Everyone feels differently... personally, I'm sentimental too... and I have NO problem with the idea of exchanging an e-ring that isn't quite right. I think the value is in the statement it makes and the feelings you get by wearing it, not necessarily in the stone itself. If that makes sense at all!

Good luck to you... you sound like you have great relationship. I have a feeling you will be able to work things out with your fiance and make the right choice together.

Fancy605 · Jul 24, 2006

A lot of people like to upgrade their engagement rings. One of my dear friends and her then fiance (now husband) settled on a ring that was smaller than she would have liked because, like you, they did not want to wait anymore to become engaged and begin planning the wedding. She suggested to him that she would like to upgrade to a different ring, and they agreed that would be her Christmas gift.

I think most men would rather their fiances be honest with them if they are not thrilled with the ring than continue to wear something that they secretly wish they could change. I don''t think you are being materialistic--your engagement ring should be something you can live with wearing forever, and you should be able to be proud of it. Maybe you can try discussing it with your fiance. Just assure him that you never intend to trade HIM in for a different model, and I can''t see where he would object to it. I am sure you can find a way to bring it up without hurting his feelings.

P.S. do you mind if I ask what the ring looks like? What shape is the Stone, etc.