Randomly being overly emotional. Anyone else?

[aliciagirl]

Hey ladies -

Is anyone else really emotional about knowing the proposal is coming? I don''t really know if mine is that or if it stems from other issues I''ve had in life, but whatever it is... it needs to stop!! I''ve been randomly crying when I go to visit SO in our new apartment, I''ve been teary eyed thinking about adopting a kitty, I feel like I''ve been emotional about everything. And that truly is not my general character. Most of my friends call me a hard-a** because I''m so rational and non-emotional.

My story: I had a rough childhood. I don''t know if anyone else did, but it definitely makes you grow up way too fast. It turns you into a cynic. I had issues with men because I''d never been around a decent one. I was told for years that I was worthless, impossible to love, etc etc. I know these things aren''t true, I knew then that they weren''t, but it definitely takes a toll on someone''s character. It takes a lot to get to know me and I don''t trust very easily.

SO is the first guy that I''ve ever stayed with after he made a "mistake." I was always quick to walk away. I really know that is a great guy with a huge heart who wants nothing but the best for me. He''s the greatest man I''ve ever met and he does so many little things for me everyday. I get so emotional thinking about how much he loves me and how much I love him and how great we''re going to be in life. I''ve honestly never been so happy in my life. And not just because I have a partner that I love, but because I''m genuinely happy with myself and the direction that my life is going. I honestly don''t remember ever feeling like this before. I was always looking forward to something else... to some day when things would be good and happy. And I guess now that I''m finally there, I''m just handling it in a very emotional way.

I''ll be moving into our apartment in Sept and I''m pretty sure that an engagement is coming soon after that. And I really want to stop feeling like this before then. Because if not, I''m going to cry every time I tell someone we''re getting married... which is very odd and would surely get weird reactions. I''m just "moved" to tears by so many things (happy tears only!) and it''s so... odd.

Thanks for reading if you''ve made it this far. I don''t have people I can talk to about this is real life and I''m hoping maybe someone else is feeling something similar. Any thoughts or advice?

 

[Lauren8211]

As an insanely emotional girl yet seemingly hard-ass girl with a seriously f&#*ed up childhood -- i know how you feel. Sometimes when you let down your guard -- especially when its ALWAYS up -- it really is like opening the floodgates. My parents and friends never see me down or see me sweat ANYTHING -- i like to pretend I have it all together for everyone. I rarely let anyone in. Only one person sees my emotional side (my awesome BF), and I swear the closer I get to him, the more my guards come down.

So in getting closer to something as important as engagement, its not surprising to me at all that you''re getting overwhelmed by emotions right now. But its not a bad thing! It just means you''re letting him in. Embrace it -- it really is healthy to get closer to someone and start to feel things a bit more.

 

[aliciagirl]

Date: 5/28/2008 3:25:05 PM
Author: Lauren8211
As an insanely emotional girl yet seemingly hard-ass girl with a seriously f&#*ed up childhood -- i know how you feel. Sometimes when you let down your guard -- especially when its ALWAYS up -- it really is like opening the floodgates. My parents and friends never see me down or see me sweat ANYTHING -- i like to pretend I have it all together for everyone. I rarely let anyone in. Only one person sees my emotional side (my awesome BF), and I swear the closer I get to him, the more my guards come down.


So in getting closer to something as important as engagement, its not surprising to me at all that you''re getting overwhelmed by emotions right now. But its not a bad thing! It just means you''re letting him in. Embrace it -- it really is healthy to get closer to someone and start to feel things a bit more.

Thanks so much for your reply. I can totally relate to everyone thinking you have it totally together. I''m sure it is from letting him in and all the feelings that go along with that.. it still makes me feel loony, though. I remember the first time I actually let myself feeling the things I was supposed to be feeling toward him, it scared me! I was like, "What is this and how do I make it stop!?" because being open and letting someone in wasn''t something that I enjoyed.

 

[gwendolyn]

Haha, I was going to say I totally know how you feel until you said they were happy tears--mine have all been from stress.

I don''t think it''s anything other than you adjusting to a new stage in your life, babe. Maybe that part of you deep down inside from your childhood is both rejoicing that someone finally loves you the way you deserve, and also is sad that it''s taken this long to feel this way. Regardless, it''s happy stuff, and I don''t think you''ll end up crying anytime you tell anyone you''re getting married, so I think you should try to just go with the flow; I think it''ll work itself out.

By the way, I have to tell you that I adore your boyfriend from your avatar picture. He looks so darn cute, giving you a smacking kiss on the cheek! I love it!

 

[aliciagirl]

Gwen,

I think you're totally right about the happy-sad complex going on. I have stressful tears, too (finals next week! followed by a summer full of classes!!) but I was leaving those out. I like to pretend those don't exist, haha. Hope your stressful tears start going away soon, though!

SO is always so silly in pictures. Refusing to smile, making cheesy faces, kissing me on the cheek at the last minute. He swears it's because he's not photogenic. He's a sweetheart, though.

 

[KCCutie]

Oh count me in on this one too...unfortunately!

I''m usually a rock and lately I can''t get through half a wedding or engagement conversation without at least tearing up a little and with SO''s family, which is engagement city right now, I bite my lip constantly. Seriously I almost cried when one of his family members welcomed the newest FI into the family during a prayer (thank goodness heads were bowed). In fact Monday I was crying about this trying to hide it from my SO b/c I felt like I was just being a silly girl (and PMSing) and didn''t need to bring him down with me. Little did I know he knew I was upset and was upset with me for not talking about it so he dragged it out of me.
All this anxiety about engagements and houses and everything else really needs a better outlet so I''ve decided to start jogging....maybe I''ll be skinnier and cry less.

 

[Bia]

I am there with you. Sometimes I get so pissed off--for whatever reason something will set me off (new weddings/proposals do NOT help)-- and who else to take it out on but the BF...unfortunately he is the only one who is always there. Then I am crying like a 5 year-old!

I think many of us are under a lot of strain. Forget about the impending engagements (that is a stress we share in common, whether it is good stress sometimes or bad stress), we also have a lot of other sh*t going on--like school (many of us share that stress and it is not easy!), work, families, finances, etc.

Combine all that with your past (you spoke of your childhood)...its enough to turn you into an emotional mess at best and insane, crazy person at worst. It happens to the best of us and I think it is totally normal when MAJOR changes in your life are happening.

Keep posting here so you can see you're not the only emotional basketcase!

 

[Deelight]

Yups count me in since the diamond has been bought all of a sudden I have this urge to like cry anytime I think OMG I am going to marry this person and how much do I seriously love him. If I think about the proposal I am all weepy, I cried listening to classical music the other night because I found a song we both love and will most likely play as I walk down the aisle.

So yup I hear you on the emotionality .

Just wanted to add crying is healthy when you need to happy or sad tears bottling things up isn''t . I am glad they are happy tears for you .

 

[kittybean]

Count me in on the crying too. I thought I was the only one! Although I had a very happy childhood, I have had some major life-changing events lately--graduation from law school, finally leaving student-hood. And there are more to come in the next couple months: taking the bar exam, moving to a new city, moving in with my BF, beginning a new job, and (hopefully) getting engaged. I swear anything from a sad movie to a cute puppy to my boyfriend giving me a new toothbrush makes me tear up. I used to be one of those girls who could sit stone-faced through the saddest movie, but now a new toothbrush makes me cry. I feel a little ridiculous, but glad to know there are others in the same boat.

 

[KCCutie]

Date: 5/28/2008 10:48:40 PM
Author: kittybean
I swear anything from a sad movie to a cute puppy to my boyfriend giving me a new toothbrush makes me tear up. I used to be one of those girls who could sit stone-faced through the saddest movie, but now a new toothbrush makes me cry. I feel a little ridiculous, but glad to know there are others in the same boat.

Thanks goodness I was drinking water this morning and not coffee! I think I just sprayed half my desk! LOL

Oh I needed a good laugh but seriously I laugh b/c it is SO TRUE! Please ladies tell me I''m not the only one who for just a split second when this crazy crying all started thought I could have been preggers! I know for sure I''m not but really I''m not looking forward to that hormone roller coaster if this is any indication of what it''s like.

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Me too! Although I contribute my emotions more to all the stress I have had going on for the past two months and (sorry if this is TMI) my poor body is still adjusting to not being on any hormones (switch from pill to IUD) so I find that I am all over the place emotionally. Don''t get me wrong, I am very excited to get engaged to my SO but I think the emotional part of me has been replaced by the giddy excited part. It''s been a long time coming and for me, anticipation breeds excitement.

This Saturday is the Big Wedding I''ve been dreading for the past year and half so I am very very emotional. I have found that I am very short with people over the past few days and so criticle of my body image that I sobbed the entire way home from the gym last night. I also feel very much like I want to be left alone. All of the aforementioned behaviors are very atypical of me. I have also found that I am exhausting myself which always makes me very over emotional. Bad timing for some PMS, right

 

[aliciagirl]

Date: 5/29/2008 9:57:35 AM
Author: KCCutie

Date: 5/28/2008 10:48:40 PM

Author: kittybean

I swear anything from a sad movie to a cute puppy to my boyfriend giving me a new toothbrush makes me tear up. I used to be one of those girls who could sit stone-faced through the saddest movie, but now a new toothbrush makes me cry. I feel a little ridiculous, but glad to know there are others in the same boat.

Thanks goodness I was drinking water this morning and not coffee! I think I just sprayed half my desk! LOL


Oh I needed a good laugh but seriously I laugh b/c it is SO TRUE! Please ladies tell me I''m not the only one who for just a split second when this crazy crying all started thought I could have been preggers! I know for sure I''m not but really I''m not looking forward to that hormone roller coaster if this is any indication of what it''s like.

Hahahah... I so thought there was a possibility of pregnancy, too!

And KeepingtheFaith, I''m with you on being over-critical of body image. I''ve had a few breakdowns the past few weeks over that, too. I don''t know where it''s coming from! Something must be in the water!

 

[ringless]

aliciagirl - I'm the same! I find myself crying at everything, commercials, happy moments, etc. ... drives me nuts. I really think it makes me sad when my BF doesn't act as thrilled about it. We haven't discussed getting engaged in over 4 months now... mainly because I have backed off a lot. I figured "Well, if I give him some space and time, it will happen"... well, I feel more and more sad and anxious more than ever! I feel you!

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

I don''t know that I"m getting engaged soon, but I am moving across Texas to live near my boyfriend after six years of long distance friendship and dating, and I think I can relate.

This weekend was the most wonderful weekend I can ever remember having - for five days (super long weekend) we grocery shopped together, cooked together, we fixed a yard for his new house together, we watched movies, we played games, we went on a walk every night after dinner, we went to lowes and home depot, and we went apartment shopping for me. I know it sounds like a boring weekend, but after being seperated for three years while he''s been in Japan, it''s just amazingly fun to get to do these living in the same place type things together. Anyways, it has sort of created this heightened sense of emotion in me I guess because i started crying one evening after we had gone apartment shopping. I didn''t like any of the places we visited, and I just started flowing tears! I couldn''t stop, and I am a reasonable person! He was baffled- "what''s the matter??" And I just started laughing/crying and said I just couldn''t help it! I told him i was so excited to move to be near him, and we make the best team ever but everything was changing for me all of the sudden, and all those apartments were nasty, and I love where I live now, and what if I don''t like my new job as much and blah blah blah. Then I just started giggling because I know how dumb it is to cry over not liking an apartment, and I know he''s worth moving for. We went apartment shopping again on Tuesday, and I signed a lease and all was well. I think I just needed a minute to let it all out!

Maybe you just need to quit fighting it and let out a few good tear sessions to get it out of your system!