RD issue

[zoebartlett]

Last weekend, my FI and I met with the guy who will be doing our RD (it''s a BBQ and it will be catered by a great BBQ restaurant). While we went over the menu of what we''d probably like at the RD, the manager fed us incredible BBQ chicken and ribs (which I don''t eat but I tried), and other stuff. We were stuffed when we left, and it was a nice surprise to get so much free food.

We''re planning right now on just saying to guests who are staying at the hotel, "welcome, feel free to stop by and grab some food." We''re a little worried that we''ll have too many people though. The lawn on the hotel''s property where we''re having the RD isn''t very big, and I think it can only fit so many people. My FI really doesn''t want to leave any out of town guests feel left out that we didn''t invite them to the RD, so that''s why we decided to open it up to anyone. We''ll have tables and chairs but it will be pretty informal -- not a formal sit down affair (that will be saved for the next day). My only worry is that we''ll have way more people than the space will allow. I''m more worried about that than running out of food, because we can always plan ahead and have the caterers make way more than is needed, just in case. But, in thinking about that, how can we plan so far in advance how many people to serve if we don''t even know how many people are coming yet? We could have 20 people, and if that''s the case, it''s not a big deal at all. If we have 50-60 people staying though, that could be a problem.

I know I''m rambling and I hope my issue is clear. We basically want people to drop by, have some food, and then feel free to go to the beach or go shopping, etc. That way, space will be opened up for others to do the same thing.

 

[surfgirl]

zoe, I think typically, the RD is not only for the wedding party but also should include all OOT guests anyway. At least that''s the way I''ve always heard it...people who have traveled to be with you should be given a dinner that evening before the wedding. I dont think there''s anything you can really do to alleviate the too many people showing up at once situation unless you have the BBQ for the wedding party right away, then they all leave and the OOT guests show up later. Even if you stagger it, it''s going to be hard to control. It''s BBQ right? And summer? Just set up as many tables as you can and hope some folks will show up later? You could also put a time spread on the invite like: "RD will be served from 7:00-10:00pm, please feel free to stop by as you like" or something like that...?

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 11/23/2007 9:06:23 PM
Author: surfgirl
zoe, I think typically, the RD is not only for the wedding party but also should include all OOT guests anyway. At least that''s the way I''ve always heard it...people who have traveled to be with you should be given a dinner that evening before the wedding. I dont think there''s anything you can really do to alleviate the too many people showing up at once situation unless you have the BBQ for the wedding party right away, then they all leave and the OOT guests show up later. Even if you stagger it, it''s going to be hard to control. It''s BBQ right? And summer? Just set up as many tables as you can and hope some folks will show up later? You could also put a time spread on the invite like: ''RD will be served from 7:00-10:00pm, please feel free to stop by as you like'' or something like that...?

Thanks Surfgirl! We may end up doing that. We''re having a very small wedding party, just my sister and my FI''s friend. The only problem with inviting everyone (all OOT guests) to the RD is that a lot of people could wind up deciding to stay at the hotel. It''s hard to figure out ahead of time who''s going to stay and who''s not. The rooms that have been blocked off are right on the lawn and it''s also the site of the RD. So anyone staying in the blocked off rooms have to be invited. I really like your suggestion!

 

[neatfreak]

Zoe, couldn''t you just ask people to RSVP? Not formally or anything, but more to help you plan on how much food to get? I don''t think there is anything wrong with asking people to let you know if they think they''ll come by. Doesn''t have to be a "formal" RSVP. Just in the invite say "If you know you''ll be coming in advance, please let us know so we can plan the catering", or something like that, so they know an RSVP isn''t required, but would be appreciated?

Anyway, that''s what I did for our brunch the day after the wedding and we ended up with a pretty accurate count for the brunch even without a "formal" RSVP.

 

[zoebartlett]

Thanks for suggestion, neatfreak. When it comes time to send the invites out, we may include a note asking guests to let us know if they''re planning on staying at the hotel. I just feel like in order to plan the menu and how much to get (and spend), we''ll need to guess at the number of people attending. I wish I could know this ahead of time. I also don''t want the lawn to get too crowded, and this depends on how many people stay at the hotel.

Silly me...reading this over, I realize that isn''t really an issue at all. I think I had to talk it out (well, write it out) to see that it''s not complicated. Thanks the suggestions!

 

[Pandora II]

I discovered that there were 3 weddings the same day as mine in our very small town thanks to a tip-off from a hotel manager I used to work for.

I booked one entire hotel for FI''s family, and then took 20 rooms at another for all our friends. Made a list up and realised that I needed 24 - probably.

So I sent an email out saying that this might be a surprise for some people, but STD''s and invitations would follow, but would they like a room reserved in their name for the night.

Most people replied and loads are coming for the whole weekend not just the Saturday.

It also helped me know who wasn''t able to make it - which means that my B-listers can now be invited at A-list time.