Realistic Guest List

[Tybee]

Seriously,

We want to have a destination wedding for many reasons, but one of them is to have just a small number of guests...but FI and I keep doing the list, and we''ve got a maximum of 140 people who are on the "must invite" list.

Seriously, how do we have that many "must haves"?

Here''s where I need your imput. We''re about to go on a trip out there to make the plans. My ideal wedding involves a guest list of about 40- 80. His is the total 140. My poor little daddy is paying for this wedding, and has promised me that he will help my brothers get down there. I have three of them, one has three small boys. They are all that matters to me...

Then there are all the people that we know. Sure, I''d love to have them there, but seriously...I don''t want my poor daddy to go broke! I keep thinking that we can throw a shindig when we get back.

Is it totally tasteless to send out a message, instead of a "save the date"--but a "will you consider coming?" card? The number of guests will be important to planning this wedding. I''m afraid it might be tacky, but there are all the work friends, and college friends that we feel we should invite, but probably won''t come.

Be frank, I need to know the truth. I know we''ve got to cut this list down, but I keep hoping that the guests will cut themselves! I am such a sucker!

 

[MissAva]

Date: 7/5/2005 12:21:57 AM
Author:Tybee
Seriously,

We want to have a destination wedding for many reasons, but one of them is to have just a small number of guests...but FI and I keep doing the list, and we''ve got a maximum of 140 people who are on the ''must invite'' list.

Seriously, how do we have that many ''must haves''?

Here''s where I need your imput. We''re about to go on a trip out there to make the plans. My ideal wedding involves a guest list of about 40- 80. His is the total 140. My poor little daddy is paying for this wedding, and has promised me that he will help my brothers get down there. I have three of them, one has three small boys. They are all that matters to me...

Then there are all the people that we know. Sure, I''d love to have them there, but seriously...I don''t want my poor daddy to go broke! I keep thinking that we can throw a shindig when we get back.

Is it totally tasteless to send out a message, instead of a ''save the date''--but a ''will you consider coming?'' card? The number of guests will be important to planning this wedding. I''m afraid it might be tacky, but there are all the work friends, and college friends that we feel we should invite, but probably won''t come.

Be frank, I need to know the truth. I know we''ve got to cut this list down, but I keep hoping that the guests will cut themselves! I am such a sucker!

Do you mean a minimum? I am confused...okay if you want a destination wedding go for it! You are not responsible for paying annyones airfare or for their hotel rooms. As for the will you consider comming cards I dont know. Perhaps a few phone call might work a little better, and leave less room for people changing their minds. Also you could have you small intimate wedding there and then have the party when you get home and invite everyone, though it will still be expensive.

 

[Tybee]

Thanks,
I guess I''m just a weenie, and don''t want to offend anyone. Perhaps we are not going far enough away ha ha!

What I was hoping was that we could just invite everyone...and many would opt out do to the location (that way I can not offend anyone,) but the opposite has happened. Many friends have mentioned how cool that sounds, and how they are really looking forward to it!
I guess I''m just a little nervous now because we are going to really start planning, and really going to have to be realistic money-wise.
I think your right, though, I probably could just call friends and family to get a general idea of what to plan for.

Manic manic me!

 

[BrightSpot]

Hey Tybee,

That''s always difficult to keep a wedding on a budget, especially when you have a potentially large guest list. Have you decided where you''re having your destination wedding? (USVI, I know, but which resort?) Are there any all-inclusive resorts? If you found one, that could significantly cut your wedding expenses.

My bf & I are thinking of doing a desination wedding as well. He has a huge family & can''t not invite any of them. So we''re thinking of doing a destination wedding in the Caribbean, then having a casual shindig at home afterwards for the people who didn''t make the trip.

Good luck w/ your planning!

 

[Tybee]

Hi Brightspot.
Hopefully we''ll know which resort by next week. We''re going there on Wednesday to talk to wedding planners at at least two resorts. I am so excited I can barely think of anything else! Vacation! Wahoo!

 

[BrightSpot]

Ooh---how fun! Have a great vacation & tell us about it when you get back!

I''m leaving for vacation myself in a few hours--yay!

 

[JCJD]

Date: 7/5/2005 12:13:21 PM
Author: Tybee
What I was hoping was that we could just invite everyone...and many would opt out do to the location (that way I can not offend anyone,) but the opposite has happened. Many friends have mentioned how cool that sounds, and how they are really looking forward to it!

We had several people tell us early on that they''d be there, but then they RSVP''d "no". Some others RSVP''d yes and didn''t show up, for various reasons (baby sick, worked all day and fell asleep, etc), and this was in-town guests! I''d expect even more no-shows and regrets for a destination wedding. Some of your friends will drop off, unless ALL of them have the funds for a USVI trip and can take that time off work. Even so, things come up - business trips, car repairs, the flu. We had 87 confirmed RSVPs, expected about 100 (college boys don''t know how to RSVP), and we had about 70 at the ceremony, 90 at the reception. Our total invite list was 130 people.

You should PM Mara. They had a destination wedding in Hawaii, invited the same number of people as if they''d had a wedding in their hometown, and much less attended than if it''d been non-destination, I think about 40, if I remember right.

 

[Tybee]

4 more days!! Wahooo! St. John, here we come!
I''m becoming less and less stressed about the list.
I''m sure that I''ll turn around and be stressed tomorrow, but right now
I''m okay with it. Once we discuss prices, I''m sure I''ll be super stressed
again.
he he!
Can''t wait to take pictures and start planning!