Reception only wording - Help needed

[violet02]

My stepbrother is having a reception ''only'' the day after his actual wedding and reception (which he''s holding the night before for only 30 people). We''re about to make the invites for it.

It''s 150 people on saturday and we''re doing 50 paper invites and the rest via email.

What''s the appropriate wording for this? I thought it was best if their RSVP email addy wasn''t based off of their wedding website to separate the two. I also thought it was best not to mention the wedding from the night before since they were inviting so few people and some people might get their feelings hurt about it.

I was thinking of using something like this in terms of wording.

Mr. X(my dad) and Mrs. X(his mom)
invite you to celebrate the marriage of their son
Mr. X x X to Miss X x X
Saturday the Fifteenth of August at 12pm

XX Cabin
Lake Peevy, Minnesota

Please RSVP by x date to [email protected]

(bbq details??)
----

Now I need some help arranging the wording here so it''s not too formal but not totally sloppy casual invite. Also my stepmom said they will probably provide some beer but she''d prefer to have people BYOB. I told her there''s no way we''re putting BYOB on there. So provide something... anything. It''s going to be a BBQ as well, so I need to somehow say it''s a BBQ, bring your swimsuit, etc etc.

Can anyone help?

 

[katamari]

We are doing a post facto reception, and this is very close to our invitation wording. To get more details, though, they could say:

Mr. X and Mrs. X
invite you to a likeside barbecue
celebrating the upcoming marriage of
Son to Girl

(details)

Cold beer and soda provided.
Other beverages welcomed.
Come ready to play on land and in the water.

The BYOB thing is harder. That was the best I could come up with. Is your stepmom planning on buying enough beer and soda for everyone? If so, I might just not even include it on the invite. If not, could that be your (or someone''s) wedding gift to him? Also, are they going to have people with dietary restrictions? We are doing a barbecue, too, but we have a lot of vegetarian/vegan friends and family. If this would be an issue, you will want to include a line about "including any dietary restrictions in the RSVP".

Do they have a wedding website? They could put the details there and keep the invite simpler.

Oh, and did you ever pick out a BM dress?

 

[violet02]

Date: 5/4/2009 10:36:16 PM
Author: katamari
We are doing a post facto reception, and this is very close to our invitation wording. To get more details, though, they could say:


Mr. X and Mrs. X

invite you to a likeside barbecue

celebrating the upcoming marriage of

Son to Girl


(details)


Cold beer and soda provided.

Other beverages welcomed.

Come ready to play on land and in the water.


The BYOB thing is harder. That was the best I could come up with. Is your stepmom planning on buying enough beer and soda for everyone? If so, I might just not even include it on the invite. If not, could that be your (or someone''s) wedding gift to him? Also, are they going to have people with dietary restrictions? We are doing a barbecue, too, but we have a lot of vegetarian/vegan friends and family. If this would be an issue, you will want to include a line about ''including any dietary restrictions in the RSVP''.


Do they have a wedding website? They could put the details there and keep the invite simpler.


Oh, and did you ever pick out a BM dress?

Okay, thanks a ton for helping out! My stepmom did say they may provide ''some beer''. So say they buy a couple of kegs then that''s it. The only issue then is her brother said they will need to provide a shuttle for people if they are drinking from the lake back to the city. So they may decide they want to forgo serving alcohol but that doesn''t mean people won''t drink so hopefully they are providing the shuttle.

Anyways, I am advising they provide beer at least. If they do then maybe we won''t need to mention it at all. The part I''m having a problem with is the fact that it''s a wedding reception vs just a BBQ. Basically I''m trying to keep things in line with what you''d expect at a wedding reception, ie, food and drinks are provided, a shuttle, etc. Not BYOB. I like the land and sea line that''s pretty cute.

We don''t want the guests to see the wedding website since almost all of them won''t be invited to the actual wedding or the hotel reception. We may have to add wording about dietary restriction on the invite, that''s a totally good point. Although they plan on having fruit, veggies and BBQ food so there may be enough variety for everyone... since it''s not a sit-down meal per se.

Hrm.

In re: to the bridesmaid dress I''m not sure what it looks like but I heard it was orange and from jcrew because the BM''s mother-in-law finally intervened and paid for the dress so that made things a WHOLE lot easier for everyone.

 

[honey22]

I would make it clearer personally. You don''t want guests thinking they are being invited to actually see the wedding, and then they rock up to find that it happened yesterday. If I got that invite, I would simply assume I was being invited to a wedding ceremony on that day.

Surely there is some nice way of saying that you got hitched earlier, but want to celebrate with everyone.

 

[Sabine]

I agree with honey that it wasn''t quite clear in your first wording. If I got that, I would probably assume it was a wedding invitation and not reception only if I didn''t already know the situation. The way I''ve seen invites to receptions before are something like: X and X are married! Come help us celebrate! But that seems inappropriate if they are only getting married the night before.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Maybe word it to say "invite you to celebrate the recent marriage of X to Y". Would that seem more clear?

 

[violet02]

Hrm all good points!

I found a couple of online tips what do you all think of the following suggestions?
----------------
1.
Mr. and Mrs. Grooms Parents
request the pleasure of your company
at a lakeside BBQ reception in honour of
Mr. and Mrs. (their new married name)
Day, the date of Month
at time o''clock (in the afternoon/evening)
Location Name
City, State
--------------
Now is saying ''mr and mrs'' on an invite going out so early confusing?

-----------------
2.
Mr. and Mrs. Grooms stepdad and stepmom LastName
invite you to celebrate the union of their son
GroomFirst Groom Last to BrideMaidenFirst to BrideMaidenLast
with a lakeside BBQ reception at
Day, the date of Month
at time o''clock (in the afternoon/evening)
Location Name
City, State

A private wedding will precede the reception.
-------

Is that polite enough? Letting them know that? I got that off an ehow site, it does still sound a bit vague though. People may think its RIGHT before the reception maybe? Or will that be clear?
------

3.
Mr. and Mrs. Grooms stepdad and stepmom LastName
invite you to celebrate the marriage of their son
GroomFirst Groom Last to BrideMaidenFirst to BrideMaidenLast
with a lakeside BBQ reception following the ceremony at
Day, the date of Month
at time o''clock (in the afternoon/evening)
Location Name
City, State
----------------
I got that one off offbeat bride but ''following'' may sound like right after as well.


Wording is NOT fun.

Maybe 2 is the best option?

 

[katamari]

Good to hear about the BM dress. I remember the green dress search was difficult. And, I see the point about drinks and transportation, too. It is good to keep everyone''s safety as a priority.

Wording is super frustrating! It was incredibly complicated for us, too. I share all of your reservations, honestly. Per new #1, I think people will think they are married when they receive the invite. The word "union" to me implies a wedding ceremony (and is generally creepy). I would replace it with "marriage" and I would not include the last line. For #3, I see it as essentially the same as the first wording just restructured in a way that makes it much wordier. I still think the first wording is best, but 2 is also okay with changes.

I am personally not sure why it would matter to guests whether they thought there would be a wedding ceremony or not. The reality of the situation is that there won''t be one. And, due to tradition of the ceremony and the reception happening alongside one another, we ultimately decided there was no real way to be utterly clear. I think most people come to weddings to celebrate the relationship and the people getting married (with noted religious and cultural differences), and all the guests still have the opportunity for this.

The best option we thought of was writing a letter about our wedding to people and including it in the invitation. This doesn''t sound like an option for your brother, though, since he wants to keep the marriage ceremony under wraps. Ultimately though, I think any wording you choose will be okay. And, you are an awesome stepsister for being so helpful and concerned!