Registry or personal?

[meresal]

One of my BM''s asked me if I would prefer something personal, as opposed to a gift off one of our registries. I almost immediately shouted, "YES!!"

What would be your preference? Would your answer be different for certain guests?

 

[Mediterranean]

Ha ha ha!!! I LOVE choice #3, you cheeky l'il monkey!!!!

Our wedding is WAY small (50 tops) and in our family/group of close friends, the "registry" is really only a formality, or in case someone has a bridal shower or something. Everyone gives each other checks or cash. It's been that way with us for as long as I can remember going to weddings. FI's family is the same way. I guess it's this geographic/demographic?

 

[mayachel]

I chose personal, because I''m imagining my BM as one of best friends. I''d love something that celebrates our evolving friendship.

Over the years, I''ve given special books that I thought specific for the bride on topics of marriage and intimacy. Another friend, I found a beautiful one of a kind artisan bowel that was part art, part utilitarian. I just wanted the couple to have something that celebrated them, but didn''t come from BBB.

 

[meresal]

Date: 4/27/2009 11:08:01 AM
Author: Mediterranean
Ha ha ha!!! I LOVE choice #3, you cheeky l''il monkey!!!!

Our wedding is WAY small (50 tops) and in our family/group of close friends, the ''registry'' is really only a formality, or in case someone has a bridal shower or something. Everyone gives each other checks or cash. It''s been that way with us for as long as I can remember going to weddings. FI''s family is the same way. I guess it''s this geographic/demographic?

I thought it was fitting

I think cash is very common in the NE, and registries are much more common here in the south. At least, I think I remember a few threads stating that here in the south you may receive tons of gifts but only a couple thousand in cash... and up in the NE, depending on the family and size, some couples receive upwards of $40-50K in cash, but usually no gifts.

 

[jet2ks]

Personal! That way I'd know that the person giving cared enough to put thought into the item. Also, years later, the gift would still have positive feelings attached to it. A registry gift, while practical and something needed/wanted, just seems too easy and impersonal--"OK, you said you needed this and I'm not going to spend the time or energy to be creative and give someting that represents our relationship and your new marriage" I would have no problem throwing away a blender or toaster when it dies, but would never do so with a personal gift. (I might have to turn in my man card after typing that)

This definitely depends on who is giving, however. The registry gift is fine for extended family and acquaintances who you don't have a personal relationship with and don't really know that well. I'd hope my close friends and family would be able to come up with something much better than the retail stores.

(But a personal gift and enough to cover the food would be even better

)

 

[meresal]

Date: 4/27/2009 11:14:56 AM
Author: mayachel
I chose personal, because I'm imagining my BM as one of best friends. I'd love something that celebrates our evolving friendship.

Over the years, I've given special books that I thought specific for the bride on topics of marriage and intimacy. Another friend, I found a beautiful one of a kind artisan bowel that was part art, part utilitarian. I just wanted the couple to have something that celebrated them, but didn't come from BBB.

This is exactly how I felt. I think from close friends and family I would love something personal that we could hold onto forever.

For Easter this year, FMIL got me a Bible with my new name on the bottom. It brought a tear to my eye. I loved the thought and she wanted me to have something forever, and always remember, "This is the first posession I got with my new name"!

 

[Morgie44]

From a close friend, I would love a personal gift, but from someone who doesn''t know my taste/preferences as well, I would prefer a registry gift I think.

 

[fieryred33143]

I have never put together a wedding registry but if its anything like a baby registry (

) then I know it takes a lot of time and effort. That''s why I would always buy a gift off of the registry and would prefer if someone did the same for me.

That said, I would be happy with any gift and one that comes from the heart is always extra special.

 

[choro72]

I want cash...

 

[meresal]

Date: 4/27/2009 12:16:17 PM
Author: choro72
I want cash...

then there's that... lol

You know, I'm actually not real big on the "cash" gift. If guests gave cash, it would just sit in our savings account. Where's the fun in that? I get enjoyment out of saving my own money, not so much out of be given it from others.

I'm a saver, so if every one of our guests gave us cash, I would never go out and buy these other things that I need. Well, at the most, whatever appliances/furniture I buy with the money would be low price brands as opposed to the things that other people want to give you as a gift. I don't buy nice things for myself.

 

[CDNinNYC]

I would be happy with any gift but if it''s personal (vs. choosing from the registry) I would prefer something that is for both FI and myself, not just for me.

 

[meresal]

Date: 4/27/2009 4:12:56 PM
Author: CDNinNYC
I would be happy with any gift but if it''s personal (vs. choosing from the registry) I would prefer something that is for both FI and myself, not just for me.

That''s a really good point. In my defense the conversation centered around these hand knitted pot holders that her mom''s friend had made with my BM''s new last initial in them.

**Just to clear this up, because I don''t want people to think I''m a gift-grubbing bit#h... I was asking the question to see how you would answer, IF a guest (or BM in my case) asked you what your preference was. Obviously I''d also be happy with any gift(or no gift) that any one of my guests would be so generous to bring... but this was a case where one of my wedding party personally asked me which I would prefer.

 

[kama_s]

PERSONAL!

I got a few extremely thoughful and lovely gifts from friends at our Indian wedding, and I cherish them so much. I love looking back at them and thinking of the person who gifted it.

 

[Haven]

Personal, of course.

Nothing beats a carefully chosen gift from a dear friend. I think of my dear friends every time I see the gifts they''ve given me over the years.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I like the idea of both...but I probably would have prefered something off my registry.

Because we already lived together, we had all the basics...so when we registered, we included some really fun things that we''d love to own but probably wouldn''t have bought for ourselves. The hub of our "wish list" was Waterford Crystal and other really fine pieces, we picked things that would mean something to us forever.

My most treasured gifts were from my Aunt and my friend.

My friend bought us a beautiful cake plate and a lovely candy dish...and as luck would have it, on the day she made her purchases, a craftsman from Waterford was at the store signing and dating pieces for customers (etching into the crystal)...so I now have both lovely Waterford pieces signed with my wedding date. Although both were on my registry...they are still very personal.

My Aunt also bought us a Swarovski picture frame and matching champange flutes...but also included with them my other Seahorse candle stick holder with a note about how my set is now complete--the way we complete each other. I still could cry thinking about it.

So...my point is...I think even the things you want can be incredibly personal when given with love.