Rehearsal Dinner Blues.......

[suchairman]

To all my fellow grooms and grooms to be..... Your fellow mate is in great need of your assistance. My wedding is six months away (May 20, 2006), and will be in (Southwest) Houston, Texas. I am in the process of trying to plan for the Rehearsal Dinner, problem is.... I have never been to a rehearsal dinner and have absolutely no idea of what type of menu is normally served to the wedding participants. Please give me your opinions as to whether I should have it catered or just have it at a restaurant. If catered please, list some possible menu items or if you know of any nice restaurants with reasonable prices in the area that would be helpful as well. Lastly, do the hosts normally pay for the wedding party participants only or are they responsible for their guests as well? Your opinions are greatly appreciated. Thanks.

 

[pebbles]

Can I answer even though I am not a groom?

I think the tone of your rehearsal dinner should be different than that of your wedding. For example, if your wedding is at a big hall and is pretty formal, then your rehearsal dinner should be more casual and low key. This is what we did. We had our rehearsal dinner at a nice restaurant and ordered pizza (this was an italian restaurant we had it at) and pitchers of beer, pop, and baskets of all different types of appetizers. It was in a private room and the baseball game was on tv. It was so much fun! Everyone was at ease and was walking around mingling, talking to everyone, and eating.

And it wound up being less expensive than a sit down dinner would be.

My cousin a few years ago had her rehearsal dinner catered at her mom''s house. She did it buffet style and it was still really casual and a lot of fun. She had beef sandwiches, lasagna, some sort of potatoes, salad, and a vegetable.

I went to a rehearsal dinner a few years ago for one of my friends that was very formal. It was at a pretty fancy restaurant and we had filet mignon. The bridal party felt like this was a precurser to what the wedding itself would be like, and it was. Not that it wasn''t nice, just not "fun" if you know what I mean. A very different feeling than most rehearsal dinners I have attended.

Since I don''t live in Texas, I can''t give any specifics on restaurants, but I would try to find places that have a private room. That will make it more intimate for your guests.

Good luck and congratulations!

 

[appletini]

I''m from Houston, and all of the rehearsal dinners I''ve been too have been at restaurants. How many people are you having and what kind of atmosphere are you looking for? I''ll give you some location suggestions.

 

[flopkins]

suchairman-
your rehearsal is as fancy or casual as you and your FI want it to be. Traditionally it is hosted by one of the parents, I believe the groom''s parents?! But these days anything goes. I''ve heard of backyard BBQ rehearsal dinners, fancy restaurant dinners, etc... I would go with something that''s close to your wedding site, and feels right for you!

I know this sounds super vague but I hope it helps!

 

[saturn]

I''m not a groom, but here are my thoughts:

I strongly suggest having your rehearsal dinner at a restaurant. It''s by far the easiest way to go, and since the RD is usually the night before the wedding, you don''t need any extra stress! If you can, try to get a private room at a restaurant so that you have that space to yourselves.

There''s no real rule about how fancy or casual it should be. I would maybe say that you don''t want it to be more elaborate than the wedding/reception itself, but there are probably cases where this doesn''t apply. Generally, I would aim for a restaurant that is more casual than the reception will be. If there''s a particular restaurant that is special to you and your fiance (like you used to go there a lot, or you proposed there, or went there on your first date), then it might be nice to have the rehearsal dinner there. Or, if there''s a particular kind of food that you really like (barbeque, Italian, Chinese, etc.), try a restaurant that serves it.

If you are only having a small group at your RD, then you might be able to just let them order off the regular menu. Otherwise, you can make up your own menu with a range of choices that you think will please everyone. Or, depending on the restaurant, you might want to serve the meal family-style (lots of big platters of food, and everyone can help themselves).

Also, try to choose a restaurant that isn''t too far from the church since that''s where most people will be coming from.

 

[AChiOAlumna]

I''ve seen a variety of rehearsal dinners...

The most casual was a backyard BBQ.

I''ve been to restaurants, where everything is taken care of. I''ve been to catered dinners, buffet-style (where the restaurant comes in, sets up the food, and then leaves. I''ve been to rehearsal dinners that were like a mini reception.

My in-laws had a backyard rehearsal dinner for us. They hired a steel-drum band (as we were going to Jamaica for our honeymoon), and had the food catered by a catering company, with tray-served hors d''oerves, buffett style dinner and tray-service champagne. They went all out with tables decorated like a wedding reception with table settings, name cards and we ate by candlelight. It was quite an affair!!!!

So a rehearsal dinner can be as simple or as elaborate as you wish and your budget allows.

 

[gingerBcookie]

Most of the rehearsal diners in Houston that I''ve been to have been at restaurants...most recently a crawfish boil -- YUM! One of the more casual ones...very fun, low key, laid back. I''ve ben to more formal ones at fancy restaurants and everything in between. Like everyone else said, it''s whateveryou want. I''m from SW Houston so if you needrestaurant ideas, I can send ya a few! Lots of good catering companies n Houston too, which increases you options.

 

[suchairman]

Date: 11/9/2005 3:39:28 AM
Author: pebbles
Can I answer even though I am not a groom?

I think the tone of your rehearsal dinner should be different than that of your wedding. For example, if your wedding is at a big hall and is pretty formal, then your rehearsal dinner should be more casual and low key. This is what we did. We had our rehearsal dinner at a nice restaurant and ordered pizza (this was an italian restaurant we had it at) and pitchers of beer, pop, and baskets of all different types of appetizers. It was in a private room and the baseball game was on tv. It was so much fun! Everyone was at ease and was walking around mingling, talking to everyone, and eating.

And it wound up being less expensive than a sit down dinner would be.

My cousin a few years ago had her rehearsal dinner catered at her mom''s house. She did it buffet style and it was still really casual and a lot of fun. She had beef sandwiches, lasagna, some sort of potatoes, salad, and a vegetable.

I went to a rehearsal dinner a few years ago for one of my friends that was very formal. It was at a pretty fancy restaurant and we had filet mignon. The bridal party felt like this was a precurser to what the wedding itself would be like, and it was. Not that it wasn''t nice, just not ''fun'' if you know what I mean. A very different feeling than most rehearsal dinners I have attended.

Since I don''t live in Texas, I can''t give any specifics on restaurants, but I would try to find places that have a private room. That will make it more intimate for your guests.

Good luck and congratulations!

Thanks Pebbles,

I was wonder if the dinner should be more formal or casual. I kind of like the idea of having a different tone rehearsal dinner. It will be a church wedding. So I''m thinking I should go with the more casual rehearsal dinner. Thanks for the ideas, i''ll try and tie them in in some form.

 

[MelissaSue]

How many people will you have? That is the most important place to start in deciding where to hold it!

We are having ours at a restuarant but it will be like a banquet style.. About 40 people.. We are doing a buffet and also having an open bar (but we will probably pay by consumption for the bar rather than a per person rate..)

I work at a very casual restaurant and I have seen them done there too. One party just all gathered up at the bar.. got chicken wings and other appetizers and lots of drinks.. but they had TONS of fun! There are really no rules, other than that I think its rude to make guests pay for drinks (my best friend did this for her rehearsal dinner and it was a big pain.. because not only did we have to buy our own drinks we had to leave the banquet room and walk to a separate bar way down the hallway! These are the people in your wedding.. The rehearsal dinner is meant to thank them for their help! at least buy them a drink!

 

[suchairman]

Appletini,

I don''t know exactly how many. As of now i have 18 guys (including ringbearers, groomsmen, ushers, etc.) so i would estimate around 40-50. As far as atmosphere, I have no idea. I have went as far as calling hotels to rent a banquet room, i''ve checked on having it catered at the church''s activity center. I just don''t now what the "norm" is for this type event. So any suggestions you may have would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Tigerbear]

Don''t sing the blues...rehearsal dinners are supposed to be fun! Many times I think they are actually more fun than the wedding itself!

The host is responsible for paying for everyone in attendance. I can''t imagine renting a banquet hall although you do have quite a few people to invite. If I were you I would look for a restaurant that has some private space, maybe even one that serves family style like Buca di Beppo. Buca''s website even mentions rehearsal dinner. The food is good (not outstanding) but it is a fun place!

http://www.bucadibeppo.com

 

[suchairman]

Thanks Tigerbear, I will

checkout the website.

 

[monarch64]

yay Buca Di Beppo! I had my bacholorette party there...it''s so great because you get family style food...and great wine...for not a lot a money! My husband''s parents hosted our rehearsal dinner for about 40 people at a beautiful Italian restaurant in Oakbrook, IL. I don''t know how much it cost, but I''d figure about $30 per person with food and drinks altogether ( we had a lot of drinkers). I think you could obviously do it for way cheaper, but the in laws had their hearts set on a certain place and atmosphere. All you need to take into consideration is the overall mood of the wedding itself (formal, semi-formal, informal) and go from there to find the perfect rehearsal dinner site. It could even be at a family member''s home, and catered, so then you wouldn''t have to worry about a restaurant. Or you could just take everyone to a sports bar and pay the tab at the end. You have to do whatever you feel like doing that will please the wedding party and both families.

 

[appletini]

Date: 11/10/2005 12:44:58 PM
Author: suchairman
Appletini,

I don''t know exactly how many. As of now i have 18 guys (including ringbearers, groomsmen, ushers, etc.) so i would estimate around 40-50. As far as atmosphere, I have no idea. I have went as far as calling hotels to rent a banquet room, i''ve checked on having it catered at the church''s activity center. I just don''t now what the ''norm'' is for this type event. So any suggestions you may have would be greatly appreciated.

Where is the Chruch located? Its nice to try to do something close to it. Also I''ve heard that Maggiano''s by the Galleria is great for the family style serving, also Las Alemdas on I-10 at Voss is also a popular location for rehearsal dinners. There are so many options, a more specific location will really help to narrow down the choices.

 

[fire&ice]

Yes, Maggino''s does a good "group" thing in their private rooms. They court this type of business - so become accomodating.

That said, what type of expectations does your fiancee & parents have? You do pay for *every* guest - even their dates. Most people have the rehearsal in a restaurant that has some sort of private banquet room. It''s as formal as you want it to be. Most try for something close to the Church. How equipped is the Church to handle a "banquet". I''ve been to larger churches & they have their own kitchen, etc. If you go that route, you will have to have it catered & don''t forget about the "touches" like REAl glasses, plates, table clothes, napkins, lighting, flowers, etc. It could be more work if the caterer isn''t all inclusive.

 

[suchairman]

I don''t really know the houston area very well, I do know that the church is near almeda genoa.

 

[suchairman]

Date: 11/16/2005 11:51:32 AM
Author: fire&ice
Yes, Maggino''s does a good ''group'' thing in their private rooms. They court this type of business - so become accomodating.

That said, what type of expectations does your fiancee & parents have? You do pay for *every* guest - even their dates. Most people have the rehearsal in a restaurant that has some sort of private banquet room. It''s as formal as you want it to be. Most try for something close to the Church. How equipped is the Church to handle a ''banquet''. I''ve been to larger churches & they have their own kitchen, etc. If you go that route, you will have to have it catered & don''t forget about the ''touches'' like REAl glasses, plates, table clothes, napkins, lighting, flowers, etc. It could be more work if the caterer isn''t all inclusive.

Well, I will be discussing their expectations over the Thanksgiving Holidays while i''m in town. Having it at the church is not an option. They (church) are will be doing renovations so that portion may or may not be completed at the time of the wedding.
I just have to plan for another venue. Thats why I was leaning more towards a restaurant.

 

[appletini]

Give us an update after thanksgiving, after you have a better idea of what you are looking for.