Rehearsal woes

[PearlDahhhling]

I''m getting married on the 26th which is a Friday at 6pm. Because it is a weekday many of our guests and even some of the bridal party have had to request the time off work.

Our rehearsal is supposed to be on Thursday the 25th.

Our venue has a coordinator but when I called several weeks ago to set up the rehearsal time she wasn''t there so I spoke with her assistant. She informed me that they were open for rehearsals from 2-5 so I picked 4:30 because many of the people coming would have to get off work early to come to that as well and I didn''t want them to have to take off more than an hour or so, plus we made dinner reservations at a nearby restaurant for 6. She said this time would be fine. So I sent out little invitations informing everyone of what time they had to be at our venue for the rehearsal.

Today I get an email from the coordinator at my venue saying they have an event booked there from 4-8 and so we can''t have our rehearsal at that time. I''m so pissed. She wants us to either move it up earlier in the day (which might be impossible because of people having to get off work, plus two of the groomsmen are flying in from out of state that day to be there) or have it in a different room...

We''re getting married in a courtyard outside and there are a lot of trees and fountains that limit where we can have the ceremony and where the aisle will be etc. I REALLY wanted to have the rehearsal in the same place we''ll be getting married so we can get a feel for where everything will be. The thought of having it inside in some little room makes me angry.

We booked this place in November of last year. I told her a long time ago I wanted to have the rehearsal in the courtyard the day before. It makes me so mad that TWO WEEKS before the wedding she lays this on me.

UGHHHHH I''M SO MAD!

 

[sunnyd]

Ugh. Well, crap. I don''t have anything to say, but I''d be pissed too. How irritating!

 

[katamari]

Couldn''t you have it after the other event is over? I think that is what I would try to do. If you have your dinner at 6 that would give you plenty time to eat and exchange gifts, then you can run to the space and have the rehearsal from 8 - 9:30 or so.

It actually might be better because it puts a clear ending time on it so you can go home and get a good night sleep before wedding day!

It is frustrating, though. As a someone obsessed with planning, I simply hate it when others aren''t good at it--especially when it is their job.

 

[KimberlyH]

I''d just do it in the other space. Take some time to look at your space before hand so that if you need to you can say "don''t forget a tree is here" or something along those lines, but really walking down an aisle is walking down an aisle no matter the location (unless the aisle is a trail in the Himalayas or something). We got married with no rehearsal and everything worked out just fine.

 

[Morgie44]

That totally sucks that they keep changing things on you! I think Katamari''s idea is a really good suggestion. That way, people don''t have to worry about cutting out of work early and you won''t have to worry about people being late and having to wait for them (which has been a problem at almost every rehearsal I have attended, especially since it is so early in the day!)

 

[doodle]

I also think katamari''s idea is a good one, if the venue will allow it. If you wind up having to do the rehearsal in a room, I would ask them if the room at least has the same amount of space as the ceremony site so that you know, say for example, that it takes you and your entire bridal party x number of minutes to walk in, etc. It helps you get a feel for music timing and that stuff. Our venue did the exact same thing to us, so I feel your pain. It got ugly--they weren''t even going to tell us. I confirmed our rehearsal time and location both six months and two weeks before and was told we were good to go, then I happened to casually say something like "See you friday night at 6!" in an email just a few days before the wedding, and the venue''s planner emailed me back and said, "We already have a wedding for that time scheduled, and since all of our brides have exclusive use of the property on their wedding day, you won''t be getting special treatment." I WAS FURIOUS! Had I not just happened to mention this in the email, my entire family and wedding party would''ve accidentally crashed someone else''s wedding! We wound up having our rehearsal in the back yard of the venue''s owner, and it worked out okay, but it''s just so much additional last minute stress when they pull that kind of crap. Try not to panic too much about it--it is what it is, and you have no choice but to make the best of it, so you might as well just go with whatever will be easiest on you, you know? Sorry you''re having to deal with all the crap scheduling (isn''t it annoying how the average bride is far more organized than the professionals who are supposed to be doing the organizing for her?!). Everything will work out for the best, and you''ll have a beautiful wedding!

 

[rhbgirl24]

I completely understand your frustration. When you have to plan SOOOOOOOOO many things, its really imperative that when you books events they aren''t switched up on you!

But I would go like the majority here and have dinner first, then the rehearsal!

 

[bensbride]

I''d be mad too. I''m sorry this happened to you!

 

[wannaBMrsH]

Not fun! Sorry that you are going through this!

 

[PearlDahhhling]

Ugh. I guess we''re going to have to do it in some random room. Rehearsal after dinner unfortunately isn''t an option. But I guess we''ll have to make the best of it... I''m still

though.

 

[Dannielle]

How frustrating!!!

 

[Sabine]

I would set up a meeting with you and the coordinator earlier in the week to go over the specifics that YOU need to know about/decide on, and then just have the rehearsal in the other room. It''s been my experience that rehearsals aren''t as helpful as they are ever meant to be anyway, so if you go over the details first, your wedding party will only need to know the short, necessary details.

 

[idreamofcushions]

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. This must be incredibly frustrating. I really think katamari had a good suggestion, maybe having the rehearsal after dinner. That way you get to practice in the courtyard.

ETA: Opps, I didn't see your response. That really sucks, just try to enjoy your family and friends and remember that your day will be beautiful regardless.

 

[NakedFinger]

pearl sweetie, I am so sorry and I know this is probably very frustrating. I am going to give you some "other side" perspective, so you can understand where they are coming from, and hope to offer some help as well.

1) NEVER listen to an assistant. They are not authorized to make decisions or quote space, and nothing should be agreed upon without speaking to your point of contact. If there is anything else you spoke with the assistant about throughout the course of planning that you can recall, make sure you call your contact to confirm those details asap.

2) Rehearsals are usually done by the venue staff as a courtesy to the bride & groom. They are not getting paid for it, and dont have to do it, so unfortunately brides are on their schedule. Unless you contracted your rehearsal date and time, they basically can say when and where you do it.

3) I know doing the rehearsal where you are having the ceremony would make sense. However, the true objective of a rehearsal is so your attendants understand the processional, who they are walking in with, when, and where they have to stand/sit. Not so that they can see the space the ceremony is happening. So as long as they have an opportunity to practice this, where it's done doesnt really matter. Most of my brides who have their wedding onsite at the venue, ESPECIALLY hotels and catering facilities will lots of space and dont only do weddings, need to do the ceremony in a small meeting room, because the venue is obviously not going to miss out on the revenue of another event, and block the space out preventing it from being booked, for a 30 min rehearsal. So doing it in an alternate space is actually not that uncommon. It will be fine, you'll see!

4) Finally, do you plan on seeing your fiance before the wedding? For like pictures and such? Or will the first time he sees you be when you walk down the aisle? The reason I ask is because most of my brides with ceremonies at the venue, will do the rehearsal the day of the wedding. Either early on before everyone gets ready, or once the bridal party is there for pictures (most common). Lets say the ceremony invite time is 6, and you were planning on the whole bridal party meeting there for pictures at 4, well that is a perfect opportunity to do a rehearsal real quick, and you wont have to worry about guests seeing you. You can even have everyone come like 15 minutes earlier than planned, because again, the rehearsal is a very quick process.

I hope this helps! Hugs to you! I know a curveball this late in the game is the last thing you needed, but it will work out!