Response Card Wording

[Class n Sass]

I know this is a popular topic however I am having a bit of a dilemma. I just received the proof this evening for my invitations and I am wondering if I can change the wording.

I am a bit concerned with certain guests "substitutiing." For example I have a friend whose parents I am inviting. Her older sister really wants to come however I am not friends with her, have never been friends with her, and I barely even like her(lol). I am afraid that my friends mother will tell her husband to stay home which he would care less about and then bring her daughter in his place. That really annoys me because I have other people that I was not able to put on my "A" list that I would like to invite if people decline. I don''t want others making the decision for me to fill in spots. I have had these same people do this to me a couple of years ago for a graduation my mother gave me. The mother didn''t bring her husband but brought her younger daughter in his place. I guess she felt she didn''t want to waste the spot. I didn''t make a big deal because this event was half the price of my wedding.

Some would say not to invite them at all but their daughter is one of my closest friends and I have known them most of my life. So I guess my question is.....is there anyway to word the repsonse cards to prevent this from happening?

 

[Independent Gal]

Well, I don''t know that you can word things in a way that prevents someone from doing something rude (like bringing someone who was not invited). The invite doesn''t say + guest. It lists the invitees. If she brings her daughter anyway, I guess there''s not much you can do about it.

Except maybe not invite the parents.

 

[Haven]

I agree with Indy--your guests should know that they cannot substitute someone for their invited partner if their invited partner chooses to abstain from attending the wedding.

I can''t imagine anyone doing such a thing--if their names aren''t on the invitations, they aren''t invited. Plain and simple.

This, by the way, is why one should never invite anyone "and guest".

Good luck, CnS, I certainly hope you don''t run into this problem.

 

[Harleigh]

Hi there,

We are having a DW with limited space. Everything I did was DIY, so I personalized each of my RSVP cards with something along these lines:

Dear Uncle Joe and Aunt Pam,

We have reserved 2 seats in your honor for our wedding in Maui on July 22, 2008.

___ of 2 guests will attend the wedding in Maui
(Dinner to follow ceremony)

___ Our family would like to attend the wedding reception in California on August 16, 2008.
(Formal reception invitation to follow)

___ Will not be able to attend any wedding events.

The favor of a reply is requested by January 22nd, 2008.

I''m sure none of the above is politically correct according to etiquette standards (I can already hear Haven cringing!

), but it fit our needs for the few people we were inviting to Maui with us, and it also got the information across to our guests and supplied us with all of the information we would need to make accurate plans for our Destination Wedding.

 

[Class n Sass]

Hmmmm...not putting the word "guest" on the envelope. I didn''t know that was an option. I have a book that I have been following for addressing the envelopes. It mentions that on the inner envelope you should put "Ms. Smith and Guest" if for example Ms. Smith is a woman who is being invited with a guest.

However I actually like tha idea of not using the "word" guest as long as it is proper to do so. That way other people are not confused as who to bring.

I have a friend that I am inviting with her boyfriend. They don''t live together but have been together for a while so according to my book he should be listed as "guest." She would never substitute him, but I guess that could be a situation where someone without tact would bring their own guest even though they knew that extra seat was intended for their significant other.