Returning Wedding Gift to the Guest?

[Trelala]

Just curious, have any of you ever returned a wedding gift to the giver? Or have you been the guest whose gift was returned to you?

I''ve gotten three insanely generous checks as wedding presents. My parents are having qualms about my cashing them...

 

[Lucky Kid]

here, I''ll take em


Roy

 

[labbielove]

I think if I was a guest I would be offended if the gift was returned to me, but especially if it was cash.
Unless you think there''s a mistake on the check (i.e. they put one too many zeros or something!),
maybe a nice gesture would be to make a phone call to thank them in addition to the normal written thank you.

If you''re close with them, you could say lightly "We just wanted to call and make sure this wasn''t a mistake before we cashed it...etc."

I would consider yourselves lucky, and run to the bank

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 7/11/2007 7:28:26 AM
Author: labbielove
I think if I was a guest I would be offended if the gift was returned to me, but especially if it was cash.

Unless you think there''s a mistake on the check (i.e. they put one too many zeros or something!),

maybe a nice gesture would be to make a phone call to thank them in addition to the normal written thank you.


If you''re close with them, you could say lightly ''We just wanted to call and make sure this wasn''t a mistake before we cashed it...etc.''


I would consider yourselves lucky, and run to the bank

TOTALLY agreed. I agree with Labbie that a phone call PLUS a written note is in order.

 

[sumbride]

If they took the time to write out a check, they are fully aware of how large it is! Accept it GRACIOUSLY!!! Your parents may not be used to such a show of generosity, but weddings bring out all sorts of emotions and some people are moved to give big gifts! Don''t even think about returning it... that would be a major insult. Just be quick with the thank you notes!!!

 

[cara]

Thank them graciously! Its pretty hard to accidentally miswrite a check. You need an extra zero and a different numeric word.

I was pretty shocked when my friend told me that her parents routinely give $1000 checks at weddings. They are not THAT wealthy, its just part of their culture. At a minimum they would give the cost of their food, making some assumptions about cost, but people that are able give more. The idea being that the cost of the wedding is mostly covered by cash gifts from guests.

So, it might be that they are from a different culture in terms of wedding gifts. Or they could just be really generous.

 

[surfgirl]

Please feel free to send you unwanted gift checks to:

Surfgirl
c/o Surfgirl Manor
SoCAL

Thank you in advance!

Cara, can you introduce me to your friends parents? Perhaps they''d like to attend my elopement?

 

[Trelala]

Yeah, I agree that it is insulting to return a check. But my mom has been insisting... so I thought I''d ask all of you for your opinions.
Gosh, Cara, one of the checks my mom wants me to return is for $1000, another one for more than double that amount!
I have to say, I''ve been pleasantly surprised by my guests'' generosity!

 

[Independent Gal]

Oh man! I really, really, really hope we get some gifts like that. I don''t know how long I''ll be able to cope with living with FI in 800 sq ft! We need a bigger downpayment so we can afford a bigger place!

Lucky Trelala!

 

[cara]

Unfortunately I don''t think I can even invite said friend''s parents that I''ve never met to my 100-person wedding on the other coast from where they live. That would be somewhat conspicuous!

But its nice to hope!

 

[FireGoddess]

Considering you have to write out the amount in english, as well as numerically, it wasn''t a mistake. Just give them as generous a thank you as they did a gift.