Reveling in the build-up

[mamie]

The past couple of weeks have been amazing LIW-wise. An NYE conversation really started the momentum, with him telling me a proposal would be in the works around his 30th birthday (late May). A few weeks ago he urged me to give him some concrete ring ideas, which I excitedly agreed to, resulting in a ring browsing extravaganza with my best friend. I''m 90% decided on a three-stone handcrafted bezel ring from a local jeweler. Because the store is having a 30% sale the month of February, I discussed the ring (and sale) with my BF over the weekend. He took it all in, asked questions, the whole shebang and has given me the impression the ring will be purchased within the next few weeks.

We had a pretty deep conversation last night because I feel guilty that I''m kind of "rushing" the ring buying process (in large part to this sale that I''d love for him to take advantage of), but he assured me not to worry, that I should be happy and excited like he is. He said he''s never been happier in our relationship than right now and now the only thing semi-stressing him out is deciding on the "logistics" of the proposal (when and where)....though I have a suspicion it may happen the end of March on our winery trip (as I posted last week).

For the first time I can feel his assurance and excitement grow like mine has since we first started ring shopping last fall. And thanks to this forum, I''m giddy with the anticpiation of knowing it''s around the corner and also trying to sit back and appreciate my last few weeks of being a "girlfriend." I like thinking about how it may happen, which is bringing to mind the adage about the fun being in the anticipation. A woman usually only gets proposed to once in her lifetime, after all, and I don''t want to rush this experience.

So, thank you, you wonderful LIWers....this board has given me a wonderful and eye-opening new perspective.

Is anyone else reveling in the build-up as well?

 

[nessvan12]

I know how you feel! I too am actually enjoying the last stretch of this long wait, (7.5 years!). For some reason all the anxiety and LIW insanity seems to dissapait when you have an idea or timeline as to when it will happen. I guess it's the assurance we need. Our "deadline" is in 30 days and I can finally see my BF getting excited about it as he makes all sorts of secret plans. It's so cute! Good luck to you and everyone else waiting!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I love that you ladies are loving the anticipation and am so excited for you! I have no doubt you''ll look back on this time and remember it fondly!

 

[bee*]

I''m glad that you''re enjoying the build up to it.I was the exact same and it''s such a romantic, exciting time! It''s so great when they''re excited about taking that step too!

 

[mamie]

Nessa, I totally agree. I think a huge reason our relationship has been so great the past few months is that the future isn''t so murky, and there are actual PLANS being set in motion. The hardest part about being a LIW was the uncertainty and loss of control, but knowing he doesn''t feel "pushed" into this has done wonders for my own mental health!

Thanks to everyone for responding. : )

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 2/6/2008 6:15:45 PM
Author: mamie
Nessa, I totally agree. I think a huge reason our relationship has been so great the past few months is that the future isn''t so murky, and there are actual PLANS being set in motion. The hardest part about being a LIW was the uncertainty and loss of control, but knowing he doesn''t feel ''pushed'' into this has done wonders for my own mental health!


Thanks to everyone for responding. : )

I admire you all! Haha. I wish I was having an easier time with the whole loss of control thing. I am so excited, but I want to tell people so bad!! Especially some of the family that doesn''t know yet.

 

[LegacyGirl]

I feel the same! Things are so exciting when you know its happening soon. I look at my diamond 4 times a day at least. I''m obsessed!

 

[MissErin]

The build up is incredible. One day you think, "oh its so far away" and then it creeps up on you to which you are like me saying, "Omg - it''s 7 days away". I take a lot of pride in the fact that I did not forget the value of time in these last weeks as a gf. It''s something I have been lucky enough to really enjoy.

 

[pjean]

I''m looking forward to enjoying the buildup, if that makes any sense. Right now, the ring is being made, and it''s been a while since we''ve heard from the jeweler. I think I''ll be going to see the wax with my bf, but that was supposed to happen 2 weeks ago. I know the jeweler is busy for Vday, but he was the one who gave us the timeline.

. So right now, I''m still fretting about practical details.

Once the ring is made, I think it''s going to be great fun!

 

[LegacyGirl]

Date: 2/11/2008 9:32:42 AM
Author: pjean
I''m looking forward to enjoying the buildup, if that makes any sense. Right now, the ring is being made, and it''s been a while since we''ve heard from the jeweler. I think I''ll be going to see the wax with my bf, but that was supposed to happen 2 weeks ago. I know the jeweler is busy for Vday, but he was the one who gave us the timeline.

. So right now, I''m still fretting about practical details.

Once the ring is made, I think it''s going to be great fun!

Humm any chance they boyfriend asked the jeweler to take you out of the picture? Maybe he wants to have it done without you knowing

make the surprise even better...

 

[mamie]

pjaen, I''m going to agree with LegacyGirl and say that you''re probably being removed from the process....which is a good thing!

In fact, I just got officially removed from my part in the ring selection process tonight. Together BF and I made one last trip to the jeweler for me to try on "my ring" and ask a few more questions. BF told me that I''m now out of the equation. So now the hard part starts --- the waiting!! I know he plans to purchase the ring very shortly (maybe this week!), but I don''t think the proposal is coming for another 5 weeks or so if I have guessed his plan correctly.

Apparently he''s got the plan, or an outline of one. !!!

From what I''ve been reading on here, the waiting from when he has the ring in hand to the actual proposal is the most nerve-wracking part! Therefore, let me reflect on my initial post of "reveling" in the buildup.....and tell that to myself every 10 minutes until the big moment. : )

 

[choro72]

I completely understand your excitement! My BF initially was annoyed at how many pictures I looked at, how I always wanted to talk about it, how I was frustrated at his lack of enthusiasm. He told me that I was pushing him too fast, there is no need to hurry, and it will happen when it happens. He refused to set a time line or a schedule, saying that there is no need to proceed military style.

Lately he has been eagerly looking at stones, meekly asking me if it's alright if he changed the stone (of course it is!

), asking the jewelers lots of questions, discussing with me about what he liked/didn't like about the jeweler, and giving opinions on how to make the ring work. Seriously, just seeing this part of him tells would make me happy than any ring that he is going to give me!
I always complained (with tears too...*ashamed*) that he set no time frame to work on this, but I guess what I really wanted to see was his excitement in this process, no matter how long it takes.
I can't wait until I am kicked out of the process!

 

[mamie]

Seems like you''re getting close, too! Yay! Once BF brought up going back to the jeweler, asking questions about the ring, bringing up things like "at our wedding..." or "when we get married..." it''s like it''s finally REAL for him, and he''s excited to be in the process nearly as much as I am!

I felt like a whiny, nagging GF for the past year (out of four and a half). I swear the reluctant men do benefit from a little push to get the idea forming in their head. Then they start to think it was their own brilliant idea in the first place.

I was almost nervous that I was in the ring shopping process TOO much. Originally I wanted to give him a choice between rings but I knew it''d have to be very clearcut and simple for him, so I chose the one, and all he has to do is buy the thing.