Ring Question?...after the proposal...

[nvmst]

Hello All,

New to the site, but had a question that I''m hoping you can help with...

I just got engaged over the weekend to my best friend and it feels amazing. It''s overwhelming and exciting at the same time.

I met my sweetie 7 years ago, and although we clicked immediately it wasn''t the right time for us, as we were both dating other people. We would see each other throughout the years in passing, but about a year ago we crossed paths again and decided to develop our friendship and let our relationship happen naturally. It worked for us and I can truly say this man makes me completely happy and I feel loved and adored 24 hours a day.

We have a very understanding and loving relationship. We both value family and we appreciate the simple things in life. We strive for excellence in all that we do, and make it a point to excel in our careers in order to provide for ourselves and future family.

The proposal was sweet and extremely genuine.

On to the question I have...

The ring is smaller than something that I would have chosen for myself, simply because of style and the size of my hand. I know financial strain was an issue in selection, but I''m not asking for a more expensive ring or something flashier...just something different and a little larger on the finger. He has mentioned that my wedding ring will be amazing, and even acknowledging that this one was smaller than what he would like but he felt this time was right for him to make the commitmen despite finances. Growing up we all envision what "the ring" might look like and fantasize it on our finger. I am completely a romantic and I''m very sentimental. Do I mention that I would like a different ring to wear for the next year and a half, or should I tough it out and not offend my honey? If I do ask for something different does that take away from the sentimental value of the original?

Please help....and no I''m not a silly shallow materialistic b****. Just seeking advice.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Ugh, that''s a dilemma. We''ve seen it happen several times. When guys come on here, we normally advise them to let the girl pick out a couple of setting she likes OR if he has to surprise her, then get a simple inexpensive tiffany setting so she can pick out her dream setting after the proposal. I wish you could have sent him to PriceScope first!

A girl named Blenheim is on here, and she received a ring that was very different than she had expected. To make a long story short, she eventually told him she had something else in mind. While I think it was a touchy situation at first, he agreed to return that ring and they went together and picked out a better diamond and had the kind of setting made that she really wanted. Now she has a ring she loves and I think he is pleased as well. Others may say it isn''t worth hurting his feelings. Some here have had the guy buy the diamond and they have put their own money toward a setting to help get what they wanted. I certainly think you should have input into the wedding ring regardless.

Is the diamond in a real simple thin setting? If so, that would help justify or explain the change to something that would better fit your hand. I''d vote for changing to something you like better if you think he can get over it.

 

[stebbo]

My guys point of view is to (if finances allow) also ask him if we can redo the band. If my fiancee asked me the same, I would be hurt at first but in a few hours realize it's just my fragile appreciation-hungry ego taking a hit, and that my fiancee's long term satisfaction would make me happier in the long run.

I would NOT be thinking my fiancee was a materialistic b****. You're not asking for a much bigger diamond, just a band that suits your fingers.

Don't worry about the sentimental value of the original. The first thing you'll always think of when looking at your ring is that it's doesn't suit your hand.

 

[ladykemma]

i am confused is the ring too small (physicall) or is it aesthetically too small?

can you post a picture?

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 7/24/2006 4:08:29 PM
Author:nvmst

Hello All,

New to the site, but had a question that I''m hoping you can help with...

I just got engaged over the weekend to my best friend and it feels amazing. It''s overwhelming and exciting at the same time.

I met my sweetie 7 years ago, and although we clicked immediately it wasn''t the right time for us, as we were both dating other people. We would see each other throughout the years in passing, but about a year ago we crossed paths again and decided to develop our friendship and let our relationship happen naturally. It worked for us and I can truly say this man makes me completely happy and I feel loved and adored 24 hours a day.

We have a very understanding and loving relationship. We both value family and we appreciate the simple things in life. We strive for excellence in all that we do, and make it a point to excel in our careers in order to provide for ourselves and future family.

The proposal was sweet and extremely genuine.

On to the question I have...

The ring is smaller than something that I would have chosen for myself, simply because of style and the size of my hand. I know financial strain was an issue in selection, but I''m not asking for a more expensive ring or something flashier...just something different and a little larger on the finger. He has mentioned that my wedding ring will be amazing, and even acknowledging that this one was smaller than what he would like but he felt this time was right for him to make the commitmen despite finances. Growing up we all envision what ''the ring'' might look like and fantasize it on our finger. I am completely a romantic and I''m very sentimental. Do I mention that I would like a different ring to wear for the next year and a half, or should I tough it out and not offend my honey? If I do ask for something different does that take away from the sentimental value of the original?

Please help....and no I''m not a silly shallow materialistic b****. Just seeking advice.

hmmm... I would keep the original and in 10 years get *another* ring and have two sets