Ring Shopping?

[marcybelle]

I decided to do this poll because I''ve never actually known of anyone to go shopping with their man for their engagement ring. Is this a common practice?

 

[Selkie]

"I decided to do this poll because I've never actually known of anyone to go shopping with their man for their engagement ring. Is this a common practice?"

Around here, it is, but you have to consider the audience for this forum: people who are very interested in educating themselves about jewelry. Many women found themselves here because they were actively looking for information about diamonds, gems, and engagement rings. Often this was spurred by discussions with their SO about what they want in a ring. This isn't true for everyone here, but I'd say more than half of the LIWs and BIWs had at least some input in the process. There are many threads debating this topic, you might try a search on terms like "shopping together."

As for myself, I did go shopping with him (in stores and online), and did a ton more research on my own. He picked out the sapphire we used as the center stone. All along the way, I showed him the types of rings I liked, and he told me whether or not he did too. In the end, I chose a ring that I loved all along, and he definitely liked it too.

 

[froufrou]

I thought it would be neat to go to the jewerly store to see what kind of rings i like so we went together in April and it was fun but I didn''t really expect him to buy anything right then since we were in the "lets get engaged someday" stage, and then after we went he was all like "well okay, lets buy this ring now" and i was like "WHAT!". so now we have it but its not set yet and we probably wont get engaged for a while yet but its cool to have the ring cause now i feel like it definately has to happen someday soon

i always think it is so cute and romantic when i walk in the mall and see couples in the jewerly stores looking at engagement rings together. Of course i also want to go in there and be like "leave right now and go to PS, youre getting ripped off" haha.

 

[Kaylyn]

Date: 6/6/2006 3:13:52 PM
Author: froufrou
Of course i also want to go in there and be like ''leave right now and go to PS, youre getting ripped off'' haha.

I always want to say that, too...except I want to say ''leave right now and go to my jeweler''...

We did the mall thing, in fact my jeweler is located in the mall. I knew it was time to stop looking at the "normal" stores (ex. Kay, Helzberg, Zale''s) when Helzberg told me that the only thing I could get for $600 was an I3.

So yes, I did go with my fiancee ring shopping, and he has proposed. It was a lot of fun, but it got extremely tiring after awhile.

 

[anchor31]

We went to buy my ring on May 27th. I even paid for the setting, which is also very uncommon practice where I am. But then again, getting a 0.50ct centerstone isn''t common practice here either!

 

[jas]

My beloved apparently was snooping around here for MONTHS and worked with a vendor for the diamond and a local jeweler for the setting. I think. Still haven''t gotten the whole story.

I had no clue, but in hindsight he did a lot of poking around regarding my preferences and did a perfect job.

 

[radiantgirl]

My bf and I started looking at rings in March, but we both didn't think he was going to get it any time soon. It just so happens that during our first ring shopping experience, I fell in love the with a beautiful setting (Michael B petite princess). After weeks and weeks of trying to find the perfect diamond (square radiant cut) at a B&M store and thorough research from the both of us, we opt to get it online (DCD). He got the setting first and a few days later purchased the diamond. This was mid last month, and it should be ready by the end of next week hopefully. I don't know when he's going to propose, but I hope he won't keep me waiting for too long because I feel I've waited long enough for this. I still can't believe it's going to happen soon!

There are some girls out there that don't want any involvement whatsoever in the ring purchase. They just want to be totally surprised and think it's more romantic that way. In our case though, we've been together for so long (6 yrs and 4 months), that was it was given we're gonna get married really soon. I didn't think it was any less romantic than if he did everything himself. It also depends on the girl too. I am so picky and particular about everything. I love doing the research just to make sure we get the right one at the right price, etc. I am so glad that I got to be a part of the whole ring shopping expererience. I saw it to be a great bonding experience for the both of us and it was our first huge decision together (money wise) that we will have for the rest of our lives.

 

[bookworm21]

My bf and I went shopping to look at designs together, to get a feel of what we both liked on my hand. I also insisted that I will get to choose the stone when the time comes around for this purchase, for several reasons: 1) This is something that I will be wearing for the rest of my life (no upgrades!); 2) He simply has no time to do the research required to purchase a stunning stone, since he works 12-hour days, five days a week, and the remaining day, he works a normal 6-8 hour day; 3) He''s more picky about the setting than the actual stone, so if we shop together, he can be picky about the setting and I can be picky about the stone, and in the end, I''ll wind up with a ring that we''re both happy with.

Oh, I should also mention we''ve been together for quite a while, which might be another reason why we''re comfortable with this.

 

[kcoursolle]

This wasn''t an option, so I''ll just say what we did. I picked out everything and he really wasn''t involved in much except the budget. We have the ring but are not engaged yet.

He knew I was picky since I would have to wear it all the time and he also knew that I knew a lot more about diamonds. He gave me a budget and I picked out the diamond. He payed for the rock, and I paid for the setting...but we are not your average couple. I just wanted it this way because I didn''t want to be surprised with a ring I didn''t like that I had to wear everyday. He was cool with it, because I don''t think he really wanted to attempt to pick it out and he also wanted to make sure I was happy...and to me that is very sweet, and I loooooved picking it out!! More than he ever would haha!!!

 

[ephemery1]

Ditto for us! At first, my BF wanted to do it on his own, so my friend and I went ring-idea-shopping and she relayed my favorites on to him. But after months of searching B&Ms and getting increasingly frustrated with inventory and price... and increasingly afraid it wasn't going to be exactly what I wanted (OK, I may have had a nightmare or two about not liking the ring he chose...

) ... he decided to open the search up to me.

Within a few weeks, I'd narrowed down some choices online, and had one sent to an appraiser here to see... and now it's ours! Yesterday, he went to the B&M I like here to finalize the setting, and they told him 10-14 days. After that, it's in his hands... I don't know what he'll do for the actual proposal!

All in all, a good experience, though I do feel guilty he doesn't get to have the big "surprise" he so wanted. But he's incredibly busy, and we're already planning the wedding for next May... so we really just wanted to get the show on the road, and a ring on my finger!

ETA: I contributed to the cost as well, and my BF didn't mind at all. I liked the idea of paying for the setting, because if I want to switch it to something new in a few years for the sake of variety, I won't feel as guilty about it, since it was my money in the first place! Flawed logic I guess... but it works for me!

 

[metaphor85]

We started ring shopping in January, just for fun. He wanted to see what would look good on me because he wants to buy me something that suits me, and something that I will like. If he hadn''t gone ring shopping with me, he would probably still be under the impression that I need some huge gigantic rock (which wouldn''t look good on my petite hands).
He hasn''t looked into purchasing a seperate setting or stones, because I don''t think he''s picky about them, and I''m not either. I just want something that will look good on me.

 

[Scooba]

I picked out everything, I am super picky, he just tagged along, gave opinions, and wrote the check of course!

 

[selflove]

I picked out nothing! He surprised me with a proposal and at the time I thought it was too early in the relationship to be giving him ideas, like pictures from magazines and stuff or shopping together, of what I wanted in a ring. The only time I dropped a hint was when we saw some fakies that a sidewalk vendor was selling and I was like "Honey, if you ever want to give me an engagement ring I''d like something like this." That was 6 months before he proposed and of course he forgot that street vendor incident completely when he shopped for my ring!

So ended up with a much smaller diamond than I wanted...but in his country they don''t do engagement rings, so I was happy to get anything, really. And thrilled to have the proposal be a complete surprise! I like it now, kinda love it.

But needless to say, I picked out everything about the wedding band!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I actually went shopping way before he proposed or we even seriously talked about marriage. I just HAD to see a Tacori in real life so I "pretended" I was closer. I did find my setting however and took my FI into see it a year or so later. Of course the setting was sold and they didn''t have another sample so he just saw a photograph. It took another 6 months for him to take me (on V day) to buy the setting (they still didn''t have it. He never saw it in real life until he picked it up). Took another 3 + for him to propose. It was a long process!!!

 

[Mannequin]

I shopped with my FI back in March, and we looked around together and discussed price ranges and settings and stone shapes. I gave him about three final choices that he could pick from and then left everything else to him. It was a great experience. He didn''t want to do this at first, but he was so happy about it later because it was less stressful and more worry-free for him. All he had to do then was "assemble" the different parts of the ring. get the stone set into the setting he picked (which of course was exactly what I wanted), and plan a proposal (over dessert at a magnificent Italian restaurant, after asking my daddy''s permission). I highly suggest shopping together to anyone still looking, if at all possible. I love that I now have a ring that shows that both of us worked together to create it, since the reason for getting engaged is to make us a permanent "team" to work together on everything from here on in. Picture below (I just love my ring):

 

[ladykemma]

in 1994 he asked me to marry him and then we went together to shop for a ring. it took about two weeks. At a very nice shop in the houston galleria, we selected a loose 0.25 carat stone (the best) and selected a plain tiffany style rock holder to hold it.

 

[blodthecat]

In the UK it is the ''norm'' for the couple to shop for an engagement ring together.

Let''s face it, the guy knows he''s saving time, and the girl knows she is definitely going to get the ring she wants!

Most guy''s don''t even know their partners bra size, let alone what ering they would like!!!! (sorry guys!)

Blod

 

[Sujuann]

I didn''t know which box to check so I thought I would respond here. My boyfriend and I went with a really good friend of mine and her 9 year boyfriend to a Diamond seller for a Diamond education class. It was very cool. We got to see what we liked on our hands and also learned a ton of things about diamonds that we didn''t know.

So, no I didn''t technically didn''t go shopping with him and I am not yet engaged but he was able to see what looked good on my hand and what styles made me happy or nt so happy.

 

[dani13]

We picked out the ring and the setting together because I am incredibly picky and particular, and it was just too much $$ to spend to not be completely 100% happy with it. Then, of course, he handed over the AmEx...

But, I do have to say, he has really great taste, and we totally picked out both the diamond and the setting together...it was a great experience! I wouldnt have done it any other way....he really did ended up suprising me in the end anyway...

 

[kimberlina13]

We went shopping together for the setting. He''s always so nervous about picking the right jewelery for me, so I picked out the setting, and he did the diamond by himself.

A nice little compromise for the both of us, cause he did want some surprise to it...

 

[Munchkin]

My answer would have to be "none of the above!" I was extremely wary of my FI chosing a ring without my input. I am very picky when it comes to my jewelry, and I was the member of the couple who actually knew something about diamonds.

When I was looking around online for ideas of things I liked to steer him in the right direction, I found "the" ring at antiqueengagementrings.com. Unfortunately, (and fortunately!) being that it is from the 1950s, it wasn''t something that could be ordered at any given time. So, I sent the info to my sister and told my FI that when he was ready, to go shopping with her. I had no idea when they got together and went shopping, so it was a total surprise. But I picked out the ring.

Munchkin

 

[blueroses]

Hey Munchkin......did you ever post pictures of your fabulous vintage ring--I couldn''t find any and would loooooooove to see it!

 

[KristyDarling]

My DH *wanted* to go ring-shopping with me...I didn''t even have to ask, thank goodness! LOL. Before he proposed, and after many serious talks about spending our lives together, he started sending me links to Blue Nile, asking me what I liked. He said he couldn''t bear the thought of surprising me with such an expensive item and risking me not liking it. We decided to visit a local B&M together...where we promptly purchased a stone and stock solitaire setting. Big mistake....we should''ve shopped around A LOT more and educated ourselves better. (we paid about 4K more than we should have) I love my e-ring, but the stone could be better in quality. However for a stone with a not-so-great cut, it sparkles pretty nicely and I will keep it forever.

I think it''s great that you''re here on PS....at least you can do your homework before you or your BF makes the big purchase!