RSVP Etiquette Question

[MaggieB]

Okay, this is a dumb question, but I think I am just feeling guilty for not going to this wedding. However, it occurred to me that I have never RSVPed "no" to a wedding before, so I''m not sure what is appropriate."

Should you just check the regret box and that''s that? Or should you write a little "we are so sorry to miss it!" or something on the bottom?

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Check the "No" box, and write something if you like. So far all the people who have RSVPed "no" to my wedding (all 2 of them..lol) have left a little comment about why they can''t miss it.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 4/16/2009 8:25:12 AM
Author:MaggieB
Okay, this is a dumb question, but I think I am just feeling guilty for not going to this wedding. However, it occurred to me that I have never RSVPed ''no'' to a wedding before, so I''m not sure what is appropriate.''



Should you just check the regret box and that''s that? Or should you write a little ''we are so sorry to miss it!'' or something on the bottom?

I usually mention how sorry I am to miss it. I don''t usually specify why I''m not going though. That''s none of their business.

 

[Winks_Elf]

It depends on how close you are to the bride or groom. If they are immediate relatives, they deserve an explanation. If they''re good friends, same. If they are more casual friends or family, a simple "So sorry we won''t be able to be there." is sufficient.

 

[lliang_chi]

I''ve declined 1 wedding and just wrote a "Sorry we won''t be there, but many congratulations blah, blah"

 

[meresal]

Date: 4/16/2009 8:49:13 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 4/16/2009 8:25:12 AM
Author:MaggieB
Okay, this is a dumb question, but I think I am just feeling guilty for not going to this wedding. However, it occurred to me that I have never RSVPed ''no'' to a wedding before, so I''m not sure what is appropriate.''



Should you just check the regret box and that''s that? Or should you write a little ''we are so sorry to miss it!'' or something on the bottom?

I usually mention how sorry I am to miss it. I don''t usually specify why I''m not going though. That''s none of their business.

Ditto.

 

[Haven]

If it''s a formal invitation, I write a formal, handwritten response on my personal stationery.
It reads something like this:

Mr. and Mrs. Howard Haven regret that they are unable to accept the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Bridesparents for Saturday, the fourth of June.

I then send the wedding gift right away, with a handwritten note that includes all of my well wishes and whatnot.

 

[doodle]

Date: 4/16/2009 10:53:37 AM
Author: Haven
If it''s a formal invitation, I write a formal, handwritten response on my personal stationery.

It reads something like this:


Mr. and Mrs. Howard Haven regret that they are unable to accept the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Bridesparents for Saturday, the fourth of June.



I then send the wedding gift right away, with a handwritten note that includes all of my well wishes and whatnot.

Haven, sometimes I think you must be the spawn of Emily Post!!!

Personally, I''d include a little note lamenting my inability to attend but without explanation (unless the couple were particularly close to me), and I''d quickly send a gift as well. For some reason, it never even remotely crossed my mind that a formal invitation would merit a formal reply...now I feel silly! I even took etiquette classes in high school!

 

[honey22]

Date: 4/16/2009 10:53:37 AM
Author: Haven
If it''s a formal invitation, I write a formal, handwritten response on my personal stationery.
It reads something like this:

Mr. and Mrs. Howard Haven regret that they are unable to accept the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Bridesparents for Saturday, the fourth of June.

I then send the wedding gift right away, with a handwritten note that includes all of my well wishes and whatnot.

Haven, you are just so nice it puts so many of us to shame!!!

Damn, I gotta go out and get myself some personalised stationery - so very cool!!!!!

 

[Haven]

Doodle and honey--Ha ha! Trust me, I''m no Emily Post. I just adore stationery and I''ll jump at any chance to use it. It also just makes it so much easier to know what to write and how to write it when you respond in the same manner as the invite.

honey--Personalized stationery is the BEST gift ever, if you know someone is going to use it. I love mine.

 

[MaggieB]

Thanks everybody! I sent the gift immediately. I wanted them to have that before the rejection

I''ve just got some medical stuff going on with infertility treatment and it''s just not the best time for me to take off on a destination wedding. But I feel kind of weird because we know these people well enough to be invited but not well enough for them to know the intimate details of what''s going in our lives. I feel like they might be insulted.