RSVP wierd question

[galvana]

ok so i good friend of mine (who rsvp''d yes for her and her husband).
She just called me and said her husband can''t get out of work to come to the wedding and that she is bringing a friend as her date.
a girl friend.
I dont know this girl - is this odd? what would you do?
my friend said she doesn''t want to go to the wedding alone so she is bringing this friend but wanted to let me know ahead of time.
she said if im not ok with it she understands and will just send a gift. ?

i want her there but this is odd to me. - what does my ps world think?????

 

[Blair138]

I think it''s odd, and technically NOT appropriate etiquette. However, what is your current wedding situation? With so many people RSVPing NO to mine, I would say OK to this friend if it was my friend.

I think it''s however you feel at this point.

 

[meresal]

First off it was very nice that she called instead of just showing up.

Here''s my take, if she knew a bunch of other people then, no, I would not be ok with her bringing a friend instead. However, that is not the case, and she is saying she will be so uncomfortable that she won''t come. In our invitation case, we invited everyone with date if they weren''t going to know more than at least two other people. I don''t care who they bring just someone to make them feel comfortable.

Because of that, I would be fine with it, in this situation. It all depends on how much you want her to be there?

 

[CDNinNYC]

Personally, I''d be fine with it, especially if it was a good friend I wanted to attend and wanted to make feel comfortable. Some people are just not comfortable attending functions on their own, whether they know people there or not. I don''t know if this is the case, but if she does know other guests attending, maybe she''s thinking they''ll all be paired up and she''ll be the odd one out?

 

[mrscushion]

It most likely isn''t proper etiquette, but honestly, I would not mind if this happened to me. You were counting on two heads anyway, so expense-wise it''s the same, and I''d rather that my guest feels comfortable at my wedding.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I think it''s fine. You already budgeted for her and guest...nothing has changed expect who her guest will be.

I''m going to be totally honest here, when I got married I didn''t know a good portion of the people who attended--they may have been the +1 of a friend, my parents business associates or friends, or prehaps they were from the grooms side...I didn''t even really notice until I saw the pictures. It didn''t take anything away from my wedding at all. Actually, I think it added to it...my guests had a great time, they were comfortable, and they had someone to spend the time with.

I''ve been the +1 to weddings where I didn''t know the couple. I was welcomed, and it was fun...I know I didn''t stand out in a negative way, and I know the bride wasn''t offended by my being there.

All in all, I''d welcome her friend to the wedding because it''s really not worth your friend missing out. And remember, as women, we''re more comfortable traveling in pairs.

 

[galvana]

HI all and thank you for your responses. I am honestly ok with it, it just seemed odd and i had never heard of that happening before so i wanted to ask you all.
I also asked FI and he is fine with it.
I DO really want her there so i just texted her and told her it was fine.

thanks again.

this wedding "stuff" is never ending! oh and we invited 186 and are down to 145 i think

 

[LilyKat]

I think if you invite someone "and guest", they can bring whoever they like, male or female. I was surprised to see someone recently on these boards implying it was wrong to bring a same-gender friend as a guest rather than a "date".

If you invited her husband by name, it''s not really proper etiquette to substitute someone else in unless the host offered. However, if she asked nicely, in a way that gave you the option of declining her request, and she won''t know many other people at the wedding, I wouldn''t really be offended.

 

[rhbgirl24]

I would be fine with it too. You want your friend to be comfortable and have a good time right? Isn''t this better than her not coming? You were already going to pay for her and her husband to attend, does it matter if she brings a friend instead?

 

[Sabine]

As long as your wedding isn''t a really small, intimate shindig, I would be fine with it. I know it''s odd to have someone you don''t know there, but I would want my guests to be comfortable and have fun, and since she''s not changing the head count, it would be fine with me.