southhorizon
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2009
- Messages
- 18
A couple of weeks ago SO finally fessed up that, after months of searching for a ring, he didn''t know what to choose and asked me to help. We have been to a few places together and I have been to a few more on my own but I just can''t find a setting that I love. I was feeling a little down because for something this special, I want to love it (especially given how much it will cost).
To add to the pressure, SO is under some pressure to propose in the next week (not from me but from family) and wants me to find a ring this week (not just one that can be made but one that he can put on my finger). We have considered some form of diamond pave band (ie no centre stone) but don''t want something that looks like a traditional wedding or eternity band. I found one that I loved and, as it is not too expensive, I figured it would make a beautiful right hand ring if we ever decided to upgrade (although I love and am not sure I would want to change it).
But I don''t think SO loves it (too modern for this taste). He is thinking maybe earrings or a necklace as a temporary measure but to me it just doesn''t feel the same as some sort of ring (I like the idea that it would be something I would wear pretty regularly, the earrings may work but I just don''t wear necklaces often). I also think that if we don''t have a ring that we would just get more pressure from people about when we are going to get a ring.
I think part of his issue with a ring that isn''t a traditional engagement ring is that he wants me to have a big sparkly rock and is worried that people will think less of him if he doesn''t buy me one. (As we are in our mid thirties, most of our friends have pretty decent sized rocks). It isn''t an issue for me and I like the idea of a different ring but want him to love it and be proud that he has given it to me.
At the end of the day, I don''t care if he proposes with anything because it isn''t about the ring but it seems to be important to him. I just don''t want him to make an expensive mistake. I feel like all this fuss about the ring is distracting us from what the proposal is really all about and that proposal feels forced. I''m not sure what to do now - do I say something or just let him do whatever he feels comfortable with?
To add to the pressure, SO is under some pressure to propose in the next week (not from me but from family) and wants me to find a ring this week (not just one that can be made but one that he can put on my finger). We have considered some form of diamond pave band (ie no centre stone) but don''t want something that looks like a traditional wedding or eternity band. I found one that I loved and, as it is not too expensive, I figured it would make a beautiful right hand ring if we ever decided to upgrade (although I love and am not sure I would want to change it).
But I don''t think SO loves it (too modern for this taste). He is thinking maybe earrings or a necklace as a temporary measure but to me it just doesn''t feel the same as some sort of ring (I like the idea that it would be something I would wear pretty regularly, the earrings may work but I just don''t wear necklaces often). I also think that if we don''t have a ring that we would just get more pressure from people about when we are going to get a ring.
I think part of his issue with a ring that isn''t a traditional engagement ring is that he wants me to have a big sparkly rock and is worried that people will think less of him if he doesn''t buy me one. (As we are in our mid thirties, most of our friends have pretty decent sized rocks). It isn''t an issue for me and I like the idea of a different ring but want him to love it and be proud that he has given it to me.
At the end of the day, I don''t care if he proposes with anything because it isn''t about the ring but it seems to be important to him. I just don''t want him to make an expensive mistake. I feel like all this fuss about the ring is distracting us from what the proposal is really all about and that proposal feels forced. I''m not sure what to do now - do I say something or just let him do whatever he feels comfortable with?
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