Sad enough to make a new topic

[junepatient]

So the ring is still in the drawer, I am finishing up the invitations, this is all the more pressing because we are getting married in June. Leaving for a 2 week business trip on Sunday and since we got the ring a week ago, I was really expecting something last weekend. My 3 month engagement is turning into 2 and I'm starting to feel that no ridiculously romantic proposal (I doubt one is in the works so getting rather pissed off tha a simple will you marry me is taking so long)..is gonna make up for this. He coulda just said something simple the day we got it...I did say he could give it to me whenever he wanted but we usually understand each other better than this.

I've been good. No peeking for over a week, no talking to him about it/ asking/ even put it out of my mind. But If I have to get on a plane for 2 weeks with a naked finger......

Ideas?

 

[honey22]

I am so sorry you are upset! Sometimes I just don''t understand men. I honestly can''t imagine what''s keeping him from popping the question, especially since the wedding plans are obviously in full swing. I am just hoping hoping that he has an incredible suprise up his sleeve! But, that said, I would have a little chat with him and make sure he is still on the same page as you. I can understand how upset you must be, but hopefully things will work out soon!

I am kinda worried too, my ering has been in the house for two weeks, and no signs of a proposal! I am going away this weekend to celebrate my good friends hens weekend. Everytime we speak she asks if we are engaged yet, and when things started to look really good and positive, she was so excited for me, even in the midst of planning her own wedding. I would have loved to be able to tell her that we were engaged and show off my gorgeous ring. We don''t get to see each other very often. Never mine, our time will come

Stay strong!!

 

[surfgirl]

June, I think it''s important to take a step back and remember that becoming engaged - the proposal, the ring, how it occurs - it''s not just about you, it''s also 50% about the person doing the proposing. It''s a huge step for most people (and I''d be concerned about those for whom it doesn''t feel huge) and your BF deserves the time it takes to decide and plan how he wants to propose. Too many times women come here and complain that their guy has the ring and they''re pissed off that he hasn''t proposed but honestly, he HAS the ring so you KNOW he''s going to propose. Just let him choose the time and place. He''s a part of this too. IMO, society is obsessed with allowing us to think that the engagement and the wedding is mainly about the bride. I''d like to think it''s about both halves of the couple and this is the one thing that the guy really can take charge of. So let him.

 

[honey22]

I have to say surfgirl, you are so right. It''s easy for me to have a little whinge, but deep down, I totally agree and would be really devastated if he wasn''t happy or comfortable about the proposal!

 

[bee*]

I agree with surfgirl. D had the ring for nearly three months but I didn''t mind at all as I knew that he was going to propose and I was just intrigued to see how he did it. In the end, it was better than anything I could have thought of. Let him do his thing, he might just surprise you with something amazing.

 

[sklingem]

I am sorry that this is turning into a stressful situation ... could you remind us why you went ahead with planning the wedding before getting the ring? Not sure I would ever do that to be honest. But I guess it is all about circumstances and too late now anyway

 

[junepatient]

Because we mutually agreed a year a go to get married and set a date we had been trying to set for a year prior. Us getting married was in no way dependent on however many thousands of dollars worth of gemstone. Most of my family never had engagement rings or proposals and have been married well over 30 years or more. We just wanted the romance of the proposal thing and it''s king of a requirement of the zeitgeist.

 

[sklingem]

Thanks for the update. Again, sorry to hear about all the stress. He should have proposed a lot earlier ... maybe he just really does not realize how much you value your (and his!) engagement time before tying the knot. Maybe time for a serious discussion ... though anything from now on would unfortunately seem more a result of a time crunch than a spontaneous proposal. Sigh.

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 3/13/2008 2:02:25 AM
Author: surfgirl
June, I think it''s important to take a step back and remember that becoming engaged - the proposal, the ring, how it occurs - it''s not just about you, it''s also 50% about the person doing the proposing. It''s a huge step for most people (and I''d be concerned about those for whom it doesn''t feel huge) and your BF deserves the time it takes to decide and plan how he wants to propose. Too many times women come here and complain that their guy has the ring and they''re pissed off that he hasn''t proposed but honestly, he HAS the ring so you KNOW he''s going to propose. Just let him choose the time and place. He''s a part of this too. IMO, society is obsessed with allowing us to think that the engagement and the wedding is mainly about the bride. I''d like to think it''s about both halves of the couple and this is the one thing that the guy really can take charge of. So let him.

I completely agree. Surfgirl took the words right out of my mouth.