Seeing each other before the ceremony? What are your feelings on this?

[peonygirl]

I was completely against it before, but after reading some brides'' description of how intimate and exciting their first private meeting was, I feel like it would be just as special as having my SO see me when I walk down the aisle. Now I''m really conflicted!

 

[lmurden]

No way!

I want to keep it traditional. I want to suprise him when I walk down the aisle.

In the end you must go with what makes you confortable.

 

[flopkins]

I didn't think I would either but I probably will... a lot of photogs, they say that it makes the couple feel more relaxed and you get better pics... since once the ceremony is over and you're rushing to take all the family pics, it gets to be a zoo.

But, it's totally personal. What does your FI think?

Personally, I think it's all a rather silly tradition, but hey... they die hard. I'm actually looking forward to the little bit of private time before the ceremony... most who've done it say it was the best decision they ever had, bc it was the only peaceful alone time they had w/their FI before they went to bed that night!

 

[jcrow]

my FI and i are dealing with this issue too right now. i see pros and cons to it. i kinda want to, but haven''t figured out the logistics yet. for istance, we are getting married at a church, that being said, where would we take pics? i assumed (and wanted) them to be at the church. but if we get there early, would guests be arriving and see us?? i really wouldn''t want any of the guests to see us before the ceremony.

my FI''s brother got married last year. they to pre-ceremony pics (they didn''t have a church ceremony) and had wonderful pics from this private time they had. and something really cool they did--- the bride walked down the stairs with her father. her FI was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. the photographer got pics of the moment he saw her for the first time dressed as a bride, and got pics of her seeing him dressed for the first time as a groom. so it still was very special.

 

[JCJD]

My wedding day was totally relaxed compared to some I''ve heard about, but after our 30 mins of "just us" time before formal photos began, I didn''t get to spend any alone time with my husband until we left the church for the reception, and then we were driving or had 2 photogs with us! The next time alone was at the hotel. Walking up the aisle during the ceremony wasn''t the intimate, special, magical moment I had previously imagined it to be, but perhaps that''s because 1) we had 100 people watching us, or 2) we''d already seen each other hours before...

We still made it special, and it was even more special because it was just us and the photographers in the room. I could really look at him and talk to him, and he could do the same to me, and we have the most gorgeous photos! He was standing up at the altar, and I entered the room and walked up the aisle to him, so it was like doing it during the ceremony, but better! One photog I talked to would have the groom blindfolded up on the altar and then bring the bride in, and photograph the groom over the bride''s shoulder as the blindfold was taken off.

I''m really really glad we did it this way. You can''t kiss your FH when you first see him if you do it in front of your guests at the beginning of the ceremony, and you''ll really really want to! I got to actually speak to him. I was able to notice little details - my SIL had scratched off the badly peeling scratch-resistant coating on his glasses that morning, I could straighten his tie for him (boys

), we did a private ring exchange "ceremony" between us so we could have them on for photos, and we got beautiful emotional photos. Here''s the one of me when I first saw him.

 

[heart prongs]

We did not, but we also had a pretty long cocktail portion of the reception where we were able to take pictures...I guess I saw no need to even think about seeing him beforehand. Also, we lived togehter before marriage. I stayed with my girlfriends at the hotel where we got married the night before to make things a little more exciting. If we were going to spend the night apart, it only made sense to wait to see him until the ceremony.

I also have to say that one of my favorite memories of the day was hearing the words "It''s time" right before I was about to marry my now-husband -- I can''t even describe the anticipation that was racing through my heart!!!

Whatever you do though will be the right thing for the two of you...how does your fiance feel about it?

klr

prongs

 

[AChiOAlumna]

We also did NOT see each other before the wedding. I stayed at my parents the night before and DH stayed with the best man at our apartment. We saw each other for the first time as I walked down the aisle.

Like heart prongs, we also had a cocktail hour and at one point my new DH and I left the party to take outdoor photos on the golf course. It was just us and our photographer, which gave us an opportunity to relish in our new roles alone and gave us some moments away from the crowd of guests...we soon returned to the party, but that was enough "down time" after the anticipation and anxiety that goes along with the ceremony...

 

[goldengirl]

I 100% want private time before the ceremony. I love the photos that come out of those meetings. I love that I''ll have time to see him, touch him, kiss him, talk to him before we''re swept up in the hundred other people that want to talk to us. So many brides and grooms say their wedding day was such a chaotic blur of events they didn''t even have time to eat... I don''t want to miss spending some special time together, especially on that day.

Plus, depending on your venue, you may be too far away from him to see his reaction when you walk down the aisle. I absolutely want to see the look in his eyes when he sees me for the first time. (And I want to give both of us a chance to compose ourselves!

)

 

[FireGoddess]

That look of awe in his eyes is going to be there whether he sees you for the first time in front of everyone, or privately. We chose to see each other before the wedding because we wanted the whole wedding party to ride up to the wedding (a 45 minute drive) in the limo together. So much fun, and so glad we did it that way!

 

[njc]

I was against seeing each other before, but after talking to the photographer and a friend who had used the photographer, decided to do it. My friend said it was an incredible moment out of the day and that she remembers that 5-10 minutes more than any other time from her wedding. I totally agree... i can remember what i was thinking going into the room, while i was waiting for DH to walk in, EVERYTHING! The rest of the day was so rushed and planned. We could talk and touch each other... we exchanged gifts, DH put my bracelet he bought me on for me... i would do it the same way again!

Jcrow - we had a church wedding and did the pre-ceremony pics and meeting. Ceremony started at 4 and we had everyone there and ready to take pictures at 130. The photographer took some of the guy pictures and then DH and I had our meeting about 2ish. I went into the sanctuary and stood up on the alter and then DH came in and had to walk down the aisle to me! No one else was in there, not even the photographer and people were guarding the door so no one would walk in on us. It was just the two of us for a good 5-10 minutes. The photographer knocked on the door, asked if we need more time, we said no, and then he let everyone that needed to be in pics came in. The doors to the sanctuary were closed and guarded the entire time, so guests couldnt see and at 315, all pictures stopped so they could start seating people. The few pictures that couldnt or didnt get taken before the ceremony were taken after, like ones outside and with our grandparents. It took a max of 30 min and then we were off to enjoy the reception!

 

[VuittonGal]

I''m not superstitious or anything, but I don''t like the idea. I think it takes away from some of the initial excitement as he first sees you walking down the aisle. I dunno, maybe I''ve watched too many movies

 

[appletini]

I haven''t even though of this, but since we aren''t having a gigantic wedding (at least not yet...hopefully that won''t change once the planning get started with the fams), we won''t have tons of distance between us, plus the plan is to have the ceremony and reception at the same place, so everyone else can start the party while we are taking "us" pictures.

 

[gingerBcookie]

We''re having the ceremony an reception at the same place so the guests will be munching on passed appetizers while we take pics. Also, since we are having a bhuddist ceremony inthe AM, we''ll have seen eachother already anyway and I kinda still want for him to see me forthe first time in my white dress walking down the aisle. I think their are pros and cons of both, go with what you are most comfy with!

 

[JCJD]

Date: 12/26/2005 7:12:40 PM
Author: FireGoddess
That look of awe in his eyes is going to be there whether he sees you for the first time in front of everyone, or privately.

I think this is the heart of the issue. It just depends on what you want, that special moment between just the two of you, or that special moment with your guests watching.