Seeking guidance on anniversary ring style

[Nolan B]

My wife and I will be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary this summer. I would like to get her a ring, though am conflicted as to the direction I would like to go. I've spent countless hours doing online research, visited a couple of local jewelers and just can't seem to find my direction. I've grown to appreciate those within the PS community, their expertise and the responses they provide, so I figured I would seek your guidance.

My wife currently only wears her e/r that is a round brilliant, 93/100, I, SI1 set in a yg milgrain trim (12) round full cut side diamonds total weight of 31/100. There is a matching w/b with (15) round full cut side diamonds. She has a few other rings that she occasionally wears, though my goal is to purchase something that she will wear every day in addition to her wedding set. Here are my thoughts thus far:

Option 1: A larger solitaire - I would never consider doing anything with her original wedding set. Though I do not want to compete with her original, I have always wanted to get her a 2+ ct for our anniversary. She always states that she doesn't like larger, showy rings, though I believe she is just being modest and frugal. I know she deserves it. Would it look strange to have a larger solitaire on her right hand as an anniversary ring while wearing her wedding set? I do know that she will continue to wear her wedding set daily.

Option 2: Stacking an anniversary band - if I went this route I assume I should stay with a similar looking band and size, more of a matching band? Her current band is about 1.5mm, so probably something no larger than 2mm.

Option 3: Larger right hand anniversary band - if I went this route I would consider larger stones in a 5/7/9 stone setting. Maybe 1.5ct and 3mm or so. I do know that I have no interest in an eternity band.

At this point I'm seeking guidance as to what of these options is the best route. I personally like the larger looks, though after spending time reading though others comments I'm not sure that is the case. I've attached a photo of her current set, though my apologies for the poor quality that my cell phone provides. Any thoughts or guidance is greatly appreciate. Thanks so much!

 

[Mooshi]

You do know your wife best.. but there are plenty of people that would not enjoy a larger stone and it would make them feel uncomfortable, and it has nothing to do with being frugal. In your shoes I would err on the side of what she said her preferences are (not large) and stick with either an anniversary band she could stack with her current set, or maybe something like a "large" eternity band that she could wear on the right hand that wouldn't take away from her ER set (not to be stacked together I mean). I'd go option 2 or 3.

How about purchasing from a shop that allows returns, and presenting it to her in a way of, I didn't want to give you an empty box but we can easily return this and pick something out together that you'd like better.

 

[dk168]

A Gypsy set round diamond ring for the right hand?

DK

 

[Nolan B]

Thank you, Mooshi. I appreciate your thoughts. Being that I felt my original message was wordy enough, I deleted most of the section that detailed her interests. At the end of the day it is of course her interests that I am trying to satisfy. I gave her a beautiful 2+ carat blue face-up tanzanite solitaire for her 30th birthday, which she had set in a platinum band with 4 rounds brilliant side stones. Even with the considerable size, she adores this ring, though does not wear it daily. She has 2.5ct diamond stud earrings and wears them daily. She sometimes wears her 1ct studs depending on the days events. She has a one carat diamond pendant, and wears it just about every day as well.

To not spoil the anniversary surprise, I've tried to nose into the topic of a larger diamond. Her response is it's not worth the money. She and I are both alike where we prefer to do things for others, though not for ourselves. When she knows someone with a large diamond, she dismisses it as showy. I somewhat sense a bit of jealousy. So who knows, lol!

I definitely will and always have chosen a jeweler that provides and option for her to change it up if she doesn't like it. I love that piece of mind when making this type of purchase. With so many options, I can only go wrong. I do believe the safe route is the anniversary band. I still need to determine the general size if I go that direction.

DK168 - I've haven't heard of a gypsy setting though will definitely check it out.

Thank you both for taking the time to respond.

 

[dk168]

DK168 - I've haven't heard of a gypsy setting though will definitely check it out.

Here is my 0.86ct OEC at the bottom of my three RHRs in its Gypsy setting in Platinum shortly after I received the ring, hence still very shiny! It has started to develop a nice silky patina now.

DK

 

[tyty333]

I vote anniversary band for a RHR (option 3). Use 20 point stones to tie in the 20th anniversary??? You could do this in a 5, 7, 9 stone, or
an eternity band depending on your budget and what you think she may like.

My second choice would be a stacking band for her ering/wedding band. Diamonds the size of her side stones in her ering would
look nice IMO. She could also wear it as a RHR if she wanted.

Edit..maybe by your 25th anniversary she'll be ready to upgrade her ering diamond!

 

[oldcutclubmember]

I also vote for a substantial anniversary band that she can wear on her left index finger or her right hand.

 

[Dreamer_D]

It sounds like she has a lovely collection and a five or seven stone diamond band would round it out perfectly!!

 

[Nolan B]

Thank you everyone for your response and guidance. It is clear that option 1 is not favorable, so I can comfortably exclude. Making progress already thanks to you!

Now to determine what a “substantial” anniversary band entails. I assume this would be 2+ ctw and 3-4mm in width. I will spend some time this evening to see if there are related prior posts, and if not, I might pose this in a new post in the upcoming days. Not only the setting, though recommendations on a high quality online retailer would be great as well. I’ve only experienced Ritani, which was favorable, though they have a fairly limited selection. Thanks again!

 

[tyty333]

Just to start your research off and hopefully help you narrow down the size. What size finger does your wife have?

Here is a .2 size stone eternity band (3.4ctw I believe), post #9. Size 6 ring.

Show Me Your "Super Ideal" cut eternity bands!

I need to decide ASAP if it's worth it to pay the 15% markup on my 20 pt. eternity band to go from excellent cut to super ideal cut. Help!

www.pricescope.com

The stones in my avatar are .2 (7 stone 1.4ctw) size 7 ring.

See post #3 for 3mm stones

5, 7, 9 or 11 stone wedding band??

Hi all, As some of you know I am looking at wedding bands now in the range of .75 to 1 carat total weight to go with my almost 1ct solitaire. My finger size is a 6...do you think a 5, 7, 9 or 11 stone band would be best? I don''t know that I like how the 5''s do not totally cover my finger but...

www.pricescope.com

Mrs. B's with .27 stones...not sure of finger size. That would be helpful.

#JOTW - New eternity band

Well that's about the least inspiring thread title possible for what is a glorious eternity band! I've been collecting these diamonds for years - never really making it a priority - more just a case of my DH telling me from time to time that he had nothing particular for a birthday or...

www.pricescope.com

These are 1/3 carat stones...very substantial

My beautiful Victor Canera hearts and arrows solitaire with a hearts and arrows eternity band. I’m in love!

 

[oncrutchesrightnow]

After 20 years of marriage, when you approach the subject of a larger diamond, your wife knows what you are asking.

With the size of her earrings and pendant, I would say she might enjoy a 1.5-2 cttw band. Go with high quality diamonds. If she cares a little more about appearances than she lets on, a high quality band is actually a good choice because it is less common.

FWIW I prefer center diamonds under a carat. I have a 1.5 cttw 5-stone band (size 6.5) and it is perfect.

 

[Nolan B]

tyty333 - The posts that you shared were super helpful. Somehow I looked through old posts for three hours yesterday evening and did not come across any of these, lol. She wears a size 8 ring on her right hand. I do know that she does not prefer a full eternity style band, though I would like to find full coverage for the viewable portion of her finger. I believe the 0.2 would be ideal. I do really appreciate your 0.2 7 stone and will probably focus on a 5 or 7 stone to start.

oncrutchesrightnow - I have always loved the element of surprise, so I have never had a direct conversation around a larger diamond. If I didn't surprise her, she would never be interested. Unfortunately just making the purchase is necessary or she would not have any jewelry, lol. I am learning that it is probably necessary in this case. I liked tyty333's suggestion of considering this for our 25th and will fully involve her for that. That being said, I agree that a 5 or 7 stone, 1.5-2 cttw, high quality stone would be ideal.

Considering the plethora of sellers out there and that they are less common, who provides "high quality" diamonds? I see everyone sells these with options, though am unable to identify high quality from the details they provide. People share a great deal of detail in these posts, though rarely where they purchased. Any recommendation for achieving this? Thank you!

 

[MissGotRocks]

tyty333 - The posts that you shared were super helpful. Somehow I looked through old posts for three hours yesterday evening and did not come across any of these, lol. She wears a size 8 ring on her right hand. I do know that she does not prefer a full eternity style band, though I would like to find full coverage for the viewable portion of her finger. I believe the 0.2 would be ideal. I do really appreciate your 0.2 7 stone and will probably focus on a 5 or 7 stone to start.

oncrutchesrightnow - I have always loved the element of surprise, so I have never had a direct conversation around a larger diamond. If I didn't surprise her, she would never be interested. Unfortunately just making the purchase is necessary or she would not have any jewelry, lol. I am learning that it is probably necessary in this case. I liked tyty333's suggestion of considering this for our 25th and will fully involve her for that. That being said, I agree that a 5 or 7 stone, 1.5-2 cttw, high quality stone would be ideal.

Considering the plethora of sellers out there and that they are less common, who provides "high quality" diamonds? I see everyone sells these with options, though am unable to identify high quality from the details they provide. People share a great deal of detail in these posts, though rarely where they purchased. Any recommendation for achieving this? Thank you!

Call Whiteflash or email them. They sell super ideal cut diamonds that are such sparkle bombs and they are very easy to deal with in making choices and a purchase. There are other super ideal vendors too - Brian Gavin Diamonds, Victor Canera, and Continental Diamonds (ask for Wink). Their diamonds are beautiful as well; I have just never worked directly with them. I have had several pleasant experiences with Whiteflash so they are my go to.

 

[Nolan B]

I had the opportunity to stop by a local jeweler today. They only had a few 5 and 7 stone rings available, though they did have a 5 stone round brilliant 1.0 and 1.5 cttw rings. I definitely preferred the 1.5 cttw between the two and can also see going a little larger. I believe the 1.5 - 2 cttw suggestion will be perfect. Now I need to figure out what configuration and setting will cover her finger well being a size 8. I’m sure a jeweler will be able to provide guidance.

MissGotRocks - thank you for the suggestions. I’ve spent a great deal of time perusing on White Flash and will give them a call tomorrow. I’ll check out the others as well.

 

[CMN]

I would also recommend Whiteflash for their A cut Above diamonds.

I also see you have moved away from 0.2ct size stones. I think that is a good decision. In my opinion 0.2ct stones for a size 8 ring would be too small. I have a 5 stone size 5.5 ring from Whiteflash, 0.3ct stones totalling 1.5tcw which gives me a full finger coverage look.

 

[tyty333]

tyty333 - The posts that you shared were super helpful. Somehow I looked through old posts for three hours yesterday evening and did not come across any of these, lol. She wears a size 8 ring on her right hand. I do know that she does not prefer a full eternity style band, though I would like to find full coverage for the viewable portion of her finger. I believe the 0.2 would be ideal. I do really appreciate your 0.2 7 stone and will probably focus on a 5 or 7 stone to start.

oncrutchesrightnow - I have always loved the element of surprise, so I have never had a direct conversation around a larger diamond. If I didn't surprise her, she would never be interested. Unfortunately just making the purchase is necessary or she would not have any jewelry, lol. I am learning that it is probably necessary in this case. I liked tyty333's suggestion of considering this for our 25th and will fully involve her for that. That being said, I agree that a 5 or 7 stone, 1.5-2 cttw, high quality stone would be ideal.

Considering the plethora of sellers out there and that they are less common, who provides "high quality" diamonds? I see everyone sells these with options, though am unable to identify high quality from the details they provide. People share a great deal of detail in these posts, though rarely where they purchased. Any recommendation for achieving this? Thank you!

Ditto @CMN .2 in a 5 stone will not give enough coverage for a size 8. My band is a size 7. You will need at least 7 stones
(20 pointers) to get full coverage for a size 8.

.40 on a 5 stone (2 ctw) would probably be enough coverage for a size 8 (and would be a wow! Look)

Ditto contacting Whiteflash for Super Ideal H&A stones. You can ask them if they have any pictures of close to size 8 with
1.5 - 2 ctw.

 

[Nolan B]

Ditto @CMN .2 in a 5 stone will not give enough coverage for a size 8. My band is a size 7. You will need at least 7 stones
(20 pointers) to get full coverage for a size 8.

.40 on a 5 stone (2 ctw) would probably be enough coverage for a size 8 (and would be a wow! Look)

Ditto contacting Whiteflash for Super Ideal H&A stones. You can ask them if they have any pictures of close to size 8 with
1.5 - 2 ctw.

I received an introductory response from Becca of WF this afternoon. We didn’t have a chance to connect, though I plan to call her on Monday. She recommended this Trellis setting in the email. I’ve never seen a setting where the diamonds were so openly viewable. I assume I will be selecting the stones, though she didn’t detail that part. My goal is for my wife to wear this ring daily, and am not sure if she will be overly concerned with losing a diamond, etc. So I’m not sure what I think of it. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I know they have other options.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I received an introductory response from Becca of WF this afternoon. We didn’t have a chance to connect, though I plan to call her on Monday. She recommended this Trellis setting in the email. I’ve never seen a setting where the diamonds were so openly viewable. I assume I will be selecting the stones, though she didn’t detail that part. My goal is for my wife to wear this ring daily, and am not sure if she will be overly concerned with losing a diamond, etc. So I’m not sure what I think of it. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. I know they have other options.

It is a beautiful setting. However, if you are concerned about it, ask Becca about a five stone basket setting band. The diamonds would sit lower and gently wrap around the finger. Just make sure that you explain you would want the ends of the band to end smoothly, so it would not poke into the adjoining fingers. You might also want to consider a bezel setting for each diamond; again lower set and maybe more comfortable.
Here is a five stone ring thread - you might find some styles in this thread that you might like.

The 5 Stone Ring Thread!

Because I have been obsessed lately. Plus, the old one was closed so nobody can post their new additions. *boohoo* Please post yours! I will start us out with some lovelies... kcoursolle''s ring. 4.5 ring size, .31 stones

www.pricescope.com

 

[CMN]

I would only choose a trellis setting if you are going with high colour diamonds D or E. I have this setting with D colour diamonds and I love it. I have never had any problems with the setting. I find it to be elegant and also great for everyday wear. I really enjoy looking at the underside of the stones ie looking down your finger side on. It gives the look of an eternity ring when looking down at the top of the hand, but without it actually being an eternity ring.

With any setting you are considering you should also think about the prong shape. My setting has “claw” prongs.

 

[Nolan B]

It is a beautiful setting. However, if you are concerned about it, ask Becca about a five stone basket setting band. The diamonds would sit lower and gently wrap around the finger. Just make sure that you explain you would want the ends of the band to end smoothly, so it would not poke into the adjoining fingers. You might also want to consider a bezel setting for each diamond; again lower set and maybe more comfortable.
Here is a five stone ring thread - you might find some styles in this thread that you might like.

The 5 Stone Ring Thread!

Because I have been obsessed lately. Plus, the old one was closed so nobody can post their new additions. *boohoo* Please post yours! I will start us out with some lovelies... kcoursolle''s ring. 4.5 ring size, .31 stones

www.pricescope.com

Thank you, @MissGotRocks. 'The Stone Ring Thread!' was amazing! I've spent much of the weekend reviewing all 19 pages, lol. So much detail and insight. It will be a helpful reference going forward. I also noted a clear trend with WF, IDJ and Brian Gavin. In addition to my inquiry with WF, I will add IDJ and Brian Gavin as well. Thank you for the suggestions with the setting. I will include this in my conversation with Becca tomorrow.

@CMN - Thank you again for your response and feedback on the setting. I do think it is lovely, and your direct feedback is very helpful. I will include this in my conversation with Becca tomorrow as well.

 

[Lookinagain]

OP, when you say everyday wear, do you mean every day, as while home and doing normal house things like laundry, dishes etc. Some people remove their rings for these types of things, and others (me) do not. Since I don't take them off as other might, I like bezels or basket settings. Less likely to knock out a stone.

 

[Nolan B]

OP, when you say everyday wear, do you mean every day, as while home and doing normal house things like laundry, dishes etc. Some people remove their rings for these types of things, and others (me) do not. Since I don't take them off as other might, I like bezels or basket settings. Less likely to knock out a stone.

Everyday wear for my wife implies just when she is out and about doing things, though daily. She typically returns them to her jewelry cabinet when she gets home unless we have guests. I do not want this ring to be interpreted for special occasions only.

I have a call with WF tomorrow and received a thorough response from BGD though I have not had a chance review in detail. I had a few exchanges with IDJ today though the experience thus far has felt underwhelming compared to the others. We’ll see how it goes…