Separate ceremony and reception?

[ammayernyc]

Has anyone done this?

A big ceremony for us (and me especially) will be sad since both of my parents have passed away and his father has passed away. We''re thinking of possibly eloping and then having a big wedding reception at a later date. I''m a little worried that I''ll feel like I''m missing something...

Just looking to see if anyone has had experience with this...

Thanks!

 

[AmberWaves]

Amanda, I know we were planning this, also. And if we hadn't had such a large family, we would have. In fact, most of our family is all for it. I am not a religious person, so a long ceremony has never meant much to me. Our ceremony is going to be a half an hour, and then the reception starts. The most meaningful part of it is my father walking me down the aisle, which is why we're even having a ceremony, really. My fiance's father passed away, and we're tying to find some way to remember him during the ceremony. I think, though, that if you truly will be happy eloping with your fiance, you should do it. This wedding is about the two of you anyway, isn't it?

ETA: Okay, the MOST meaninful part of it is marrying my fiance, the second part (that I dreamt about since I was little) was walking up an aisle with my daddy. The groom, until I met Paul, was just a face!

 

[ammayernyc]

I wouldn''t want to do any ''rememberance activities'' since I feel that will be too sad. I also wouldn''t have anyone walk me down the aisle because I feel like it would be a replacement and I don''t want that.

However, I do feel a little sad that we''re probably not having a ceremony, but I don''t know how to resolve the situation except for for having a wedding with just the two of his. His family is two people and mine (extended) is about 10 to 15... too off balanced to even have just the family there.

Ugh, the issues have already begun!

 

[flopkins]

My cousin did this, not bc parents were gone, but bc there was too much family drama... I think they were happy w/it in the end.

But really, it''s a decision only you and FI can make - what is most important to you? How do you envision your day?

 

[Tybee]

Oh Honey,

I am so very sorry. If you feel sad about not having a ceremony, then you should HAVE one! Don''t have anyone walk you down the aisle, you don''t have to, and now days many brides DON''T have anyone walk them.
I''m sure that you have many friends and family who would delight in sharing your wonderful wedding experience!

I just got married last month (just posted my pictures Hurray!.) My mother passed away years ago, but it was still really hard for me to plan the wedding without her there. We thought about eloping, but instead did a casual destination wedding. We invited everyone and were SURPRISED at how many came! Having friends and family there really meant a lot to us, especially our friends who traveled so far!

If you would be sad without a ceremony, I think you should have one. You really could make it a joyous occasion and not a sad one.

 

[curlygirl]

Amanda, I totally feel for you in this situation. It's a tough one for sure. But there are definitely options and the first one I thought of was jorman's wedding. She and her man eloped and had 2 "crashers" at their ceremony and that was it. I think she may be doing a party also but I can't remember. You can read about it here: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/were-married-pictures-too.47578/

You can always do a super private ceremony with a couple of close friends or family members as your witnesses and then just have a big party after the fact...

 

[codex57]

A lot of Asian couples don''t have a traditional "ceremony" per se. Lots of their guests just go to the reception. My wife''s brother and sister did this, for example. They didn''t seem to mind. I think it''s more about how much you''ve dreamed about having a lavish ceremony. Frankly, I think they''re boring and not something you''d miss terribly.