setting myself up for disappointment?

[robbie3982]

I''m getting the feeling that the proposal might be coming sooner rather than later. He told me originally that his timeline for himself was by the end of the fall, so December 20th at the latest. I also know that he has a plan of what he''s going to do. No idea what it is, but I did casually mention once that it would be cool if we got engaged and then later, married on our anniversary and he said something along the lines of, "don''t you think I''ve already thought about that?" Our anniversary is coming up on July 24th (just under 2 weeks away!) As far as I know he hasn''t bought a ring yet, but he''s pretty sneaky.

In August we''re going to the beach with his entire family (it''s a big family) and they''re all taking a big family picture. Family meaning no significant others included unless you''re at least engaged. I was just kind of joking around yesterday (ok, slightly joking, slightly fishing for a clue) and I said something like, any chance I''ll get to be in the family picture at the beach? He replied with something about the end of the timeline being the end of fall and he said it in a way that made me think I''d completely misunderstood him originally. Suddenly I was sure that he was going to wait until the last second to propose and I felt disappointed and stupid for thinking otherwise so I got upset and walked away. Not yelling upset, but mopey upset.

He came over to try and cheer me up and said that there is a chance that it''ll happen before the beach (he always knows what''s bugging me

). I told him not to say that if there really was no chance and he said that he wouldn''t do that. Then he was staring at me, making this really weird face. In my imagination it''s because he was trying really hard to keep his plan a secret. He says he wasn''t making a face.

So, despite the fact that I really don''t want to get my hopes up and then be disappointed (especially on our anniversary), I can''t help thinking that maybe, just maybe, that''s when he''s planning it. Even if he doesn''t have the ring yet, it wouldn''t take very long for him to get one since what I want is really simple (rb in a 4 prong solitaire setting) (in case you read my original post about the princess w/ a halo turned 45 degrees, I changed my mind because $ is a bit of an issue, ok a big issue, with the ring so I''d rather focus it on a center stone and I prefer round to princess when it''s not set on point.). I even found a local jeweler who seems really awesome and even has prices comparable to the online vendors here on pricescope. I made sure to tell the ff about him and leave his card on my computer desk where he can look at it whenever he wants.

I really need to try and just not think about this so that if it doesn''t happen in 2 weeks I won''t be too upset, but it''s hard to think about anything else when I''m home alone all day playing on pricescope (I quit my job to move out here about a month ago and now I job search/play on pricescope all day). Any suggestions?

 

[Blenheim]

Hang in there. It was always easier for me when I just assumed that he was going to propose on the last day of his deadline, because I chilled a little more and didn''t read quite so much into everything. And worst case, with that family picture, you can always be in it next year. Even if he doesn''t propose on your anniversary, you still might be able to get a wedding together for then. It''s during a busy time of the year for weddings, but it is during the week, which might help immensely when you get to booking things. And, if he does end up proposing earlier rather than later, great for you!

You do need to do something to get out of the house though. I hate to admit it, but in some ways I''m in the same boat as you. FI and I moved out here a little over a month ago. He''s at work all day, while I''m at home spending way much more time on PS than I should. And I haven''t been overly proactive about meeting people, because I''m working on housebreaking the puppy and I justify it by thinking that once I start grad school, I''ll automatically have a much broader social circle. I make myself workout everyday, because it just makes me feel better and the fresh air does me a lot of good. Are you planning on going back to work? If so, it might be good to find something sooner, rather than later, to occupy your time. Or you could always volunteer or take classes to pick up a new skill. (If it weren''t for my back, I''d be learning how to row right now. I keep seeing the classes out on the river and I''m jealous.)

Hope this helps some, at least!

 

[blodthecat]

I would be content in knowing that it was going to happen, and soon! I would be happy for him to pick the right moment.

And as for the family picture, if my son loved you, that would make you a significant other...with or without a ring on! (but that''s not important)

Be calm....and let it unfold in the fullness of time!

(I do understand how you feel....when God was handing out patience, i wasn''t in the que!)

Blod

 

[robbie3982]

Blenheim- I am planning on going back to work. I''ve been looking for a job since before I moved out here. The job market is just not in my favor. I actually have an interview on Monday for a temp job in my field, though. It''s kind of depressing realizing that I''m not going to be making anywhere close to what I was before I moved, but I decided a long time ago that money is nothing compared to happiness and what I need to make me happy is my ff, so it''s looking like I''m going to have to settle on the job front. At least I''ll get to come home to my honey every night

. I would take a class or join a club or something if I wasn''t trying to save as much money as possible. I''m trying my best to support myself instead of relying on the ff even though he''d happily support me right now and forever. I''m working out using the eyetoy: kinetic game that he bought me. It''s a lot of fun, not the same as going to a gym or getting outside though. The weather here hasn''t really been permitting that lately. We''ve had 2 tornado watches, a bunch of sever thunderstorms and some pretty crazy hail over the last few weeks.

I think that maybe one of the reasons that I''m slacking on the making new friends front is that I hate the reaction I get when I tell people that I quit my job and moved out here for my bf. It just makes me sound, I don''t know how to describe it, foolish? silly? I would just feel more comfortable telling people that if we were already engaged. People perceive the situation differently. I know I shouldn''t care what other people think, but unfortunately I do.

Blod, I have the same patience problem. I have none.