Several questions

[Autumnovember]

1. How many girls were in your bridal party?

2. Who paid for the dresses?

3. How many men were on the grooms side?

4. Who paid for the tuxes/suits?

5. If you were invited to a wedding within the year of your own wedding and you DID attend, did you invite them back?

6. What do you do when people who you are *not* that close with (but they think you are) say things like "I can't wait to come to your wedding!!!!!"


My bridal party is going to be an interesting one----4 girls as of right now and 10 guys (he has a lot of brothers). For his brothers wedding this past June, they had everyone pay for their own dresses and own tuxes. I figured if the dresses that I pick out for the girls are expensive, I should at least pay for half of the cost. I'm not sure what to do about the guys? Pay in full for their tuxes, pay half, or have them pay for their own? I've considered the same for the girls and I'm torn.

I was recently invited to a wedding for someone I used to work with. I'm not sure yet if I'm going but if I *do* does that automatically mean I *must* invite her to mine? I'm not really close with her (I used to be when I worked with her) and if I invite her it means I need to invite another girl who worked with us also (I can't imagine inviting one and not the other). Thoughts?

Pertaining to question 6, I've had several people say things like, "will I be invited to the wedding?!?!?!?!" or "OOMMMGG I can't wait to come to the wedding!!!!!!!!" and lastly "You better invite me!!!!---or I'll crash it " while its nice that some people are overjoyed to come to the wedding and *want* to be there it drives me a little crazy when I'm asked these questions by people I'm barely even friends with. I just always respond nicely and say "yeah! you're invited!"....probably not the best way to answer but they catch me off guard and thats the first thing that comes out of my mouth

 

[vc10um]

1. How many girls were in your bridal party? I'll be having 3

2. Who paid for the dresses? They will, as I'm letting them choose their own so long as they are black, knee length, and church appropriate

3. How many men were on the grooms side? There will be 2

4. Who paid for the tuxes/suits? We may buy them their suits as their gift (it's FI's brothers and they could each use a good suit...)

5. If you were invited to a wedding within the year of your own wedding and you DID attend, did you invite them back? We will be attending 2 weddings in the year leading up to our wedding, and they will be invited to ours, but that's because they are close friends (both weddings are a significant distances out of town for us).

6. What do you do when people who you are *not* that close with (but they think you are) say things like "I can't wait to come to your wedding!!!!!" I fortunately haven't had to deal with this one yet...


My bridal party is going to be an interesting one----4 girls as of right now and 10 guys (he has a lot of brothers). For his brothers wedding this past June, they had everyone pay for their own dresses and own tuxes. I figured if the dresses that I pick out for the girls are expensive, I should at least pay for half of the cost. I'm not sure what to do about the guys? Pay in full for their tuxes, pay half, or have them pay for their own? I've considered the same for the girls and I'm torn.

I was recently invited to a wedding for someone I used to work with. I'm not sure yet if I'm going but if I *do* does that automatically mean I *must* invite her to mine? I'm not really close with her (I used to be when I worked with her) and if I invite her it means I need to invite another girl who worked with us also (I can't imagine inviting one and not the other). Thoughts?

Pertaining to question 6, I've had several people say things like, "will I be invited to the wedding?!?!?!?!" or "OOMMMGG I can't wait to come to the wedding!!!!!!!!" and lastly "You better invite me!!!!---or I'll crash it " while its nice that some people are overjoyed to come to the wedding and *want* to be there it drives me a little crazy when I'm asked these questions by people I'm barely even friends with. I just always respond nicely and say "yeah! you're invited!"....probably not the best way to answer but they catch me off guard and thats the first thing that comes out of my mouth

Re: your coworker, if you're not that close with her, you're not obligated to invite her.

Best of luck, AN! Hope my answers help some!

 

[nicoleben]

1. How many girls were in your bridal party? I will have 6 girls in my bridal party..

2. Who paid for the dresses? They will pay for their own dresses, and they each know that. their dresses will not be more than 140$

3. How many men were on the grooms side? 6 men will be on the groom side..

4. Who paid for the tuxes/suits? they each will pay for their own as well..

5. If you were invited to a wedding within the year of your own wedding and you DID attend, did you invite them back? Yes, I will invite them as well. However, you do not HAVe TO if your limited on numbers.

6. What do you do when people who you are *not* that close with (but they think you are) say things like "I can't wait to come to your wedding!!!!!" I just ignore them :\ There is no possible way I can invite everyone that want''s to come.. let alone people i haven't seen in years!!




I was recently invited to a wedding for someone I used to work with. I'm not sure yet if I'm going but if I *do* does that automatically mean I *must* invite her to mine? No it does not mean you have to invite her to yours. If she asks why, just say there is a lot of family, and unfortunately friends had to come last

 

[ts44]

1. How many girls were in your bridal party? 4 including maid of honor

2. Who paid for the dresses? Me

3. How many men were on the grooms side? 4

4. Who paid for the tuxes/suits? they bought their own suits

5. If you were invited to a wedding within the year of your own wedding and you DID attend, did you invite them back? yes, but they were close family friends so automatically on the list

6. What do you do when people who you are *not* that close with (but they think you are) say things like "I can't wait to come to your wedding!!!!!" Smile graciously, say "the guest list hasn't been finalized yet", then change the subject. If you have already finalized the guest list, then say "thank you so much for your kind interest, but we are having an intimate wedding, of only family and close friends." It's rude to assume you are invited to something, and you are under no obligation to invite them. Do not tell them they are invited, that will only make it worse. If you have told people they are invited after this question, you may as well invite them because they will plan that they are.

My bridal party is going to be an interesting one----4 girls as of right now and 10 guys (he has a lot of brothers). For his brothers wedding this past June, they had everyone pay for their own dresses and own tuxes. I figured if the dresses that I pick out for the girls are expensive, I should at least pay for half of the cost. I'm not sure what to do about the guys? Pay in full for their tuxes, pay half, or have them pay for their own? I've considered the same for the girls and I'm torn. I budgeted my bridesmaids' clothing into my wedding expenses. I've always been of the mind that if I am requiring grown women to wear a dress of my choosing, they shouldn't have to be burdened with the cost. If you say, gave them a color and allowed them to pick their own dress, then you shouldn't feel obligated to pay for it, or you could offer to pay a portion of it. I feel that the groomsmen's attire and costs are not up to you, but between them and the groom.

I was recently invited to a wedding for someone I used to work with. I'm not sure yet if I'm going but if I *do* does that automatically mean I *must* invite her to mine? I'm not really close with her (I used to be when I worked with her) and if I invite her it means I need to invite another girl who worked with us also (I can't imagine inviting one and not the other). Thoughts? No, you don't have to invite her. Some people have 500-person weddings, some have 50-person. If you did invite everybody and their mother's dog to your wedding, she probably would be a bit put-off that she wasn't included, if she found out how "unexsclusive" the guest list really was.

Pertaining to question 6, I've had several people say things like, "will I be invited to the wedding?!?!?!?!" or "OOMMMGG I can't wait to come to the wedding!!!!!!!!" and lastly "You better invite me!!!!---or I'll crash it " while its nice that some people are overjoyed to come to the wedding and *want* to be there it drives me a little crazy when I'm asked these questions by people I'm barely even friends with. I just always respond nicely and say "yeah! you're invited!"....probably not the best way to answer but they catch me off guard and thats the first thing that comes out of my mouth Refer back to #6

 

[LtlFirecracker]

1. How many girls were in your bridal party?
Started with 4, now have 3.

2. Who paid for the dresses?
- my BM's did. Although I just offered to help with alterations after one of my BM's posted the price on Facebook and got 20 responses about how crazy that was (I didn't think they would be that much!). I wish she would have called me first

3. How many men were on the grooms side?
Four

4. Who paid for the tuxes/suits?
The Groomsmen did.

5. If you were invited to a wedding within the year of your own wedding and you DID attend, did you invite them back?
Have not been in a wedding the last year. However, I will be going to a friends in November. She is coming to mine.

6. What do you do when people who you are *not* that close with (but they think you are) say things like "I can't wait to come to your wedding!!!!!"
My FI encountered this much more than I did. He just told them because of budget constraints it was going to be very small. We are having 60 people at the most, so he was not lying.

 

[meresal]

1. How many girls were in your bridal party? 9 (3 sisters, 1 SIL, and 5 friends)

2. Who paid for the dresses? They did. It is normal in my area to pay for your own stuff. I however, think that the bride should pay for any accessories or shoes if they want something specific worn.

3. How many men were on the grooms side? 9 (1 brother, 1 BIL, and 7 friends)

4. Who paid for the tuxes/suits? My IL's. There is a whole back story, but my husbands parents paid for everything, including hotel rooms. This is not normal in our area.

5. If you were invited to a wedding within the year of your own wedding and you DID attend, did you invite them back? Yes, but they were all close friends. If they weren't then I wouldn't feel obligated to invite them.

6. What do you do when people who you are *not* that close with (but they think you are) say things like "I can't wait to come to your wedding!!!!!" - This ususally means they *know* their is a chance that they aren't being invited and are trying to make sure you know they want to come. You'll notice the only ones who say this, are the people you aren't really close with.
Also, in regards to what you are saying/have said in response to these people... just start telling them you haven't figured out the size of the guest list.

 

[Dreamer_D]

1. How many girls were in your bridal party?

I had 4 bridesmaids

2. Who paid for the dresses?
I paid for two who were flying in from out of town, I wanted to limit their costs.The two local ones bought their own. But they also wore off the rack dresses from a chain store, so it was not expensive.

3. How many men were on the grooms side?
Four.

4. Who paid for the tuxes/suits?
They rented them, and I think they paid for them? I cannot recall exactly though...two were DH's brothers so perhaps his parents paid for those ones...

5. If you were invited to a wedding within the year of your own wedding and you DID attend, did you invite them back?
Not in one case, yes in another. The obligation did not enter the picture, we invited people we were close with.

6. What do you do when people who you are *not* that close with (but they think you are) say things like "I can't wait to come to your wedding!!!!!"
No one said that to us, but I would have said, if I knew they were invited, "I'm really sorry, but we couldn't invote everyone we wanted due to finances/space (whatever), I'm so sorry!

 

[zipzapgirl]

1. How many girls were in your bridal party? 2

2. Who paid for the dresses? They did. I found them on special at Ann Taylor, so they paid $65+alterations, but I think we all just lucked out. They would have been willing to pay more if it hadn't worked out that way.

3. How many men were on the grooms side? 2

4. Who paid for the tuxes/suits? They just wore black suits they already owned. We bought them matching ties.

5. If you were invited to a wedding within the year of your own wedding and you DID attend, did you invite them back? Yes, but it was DH's cousin.

6. What do you do when people who you are *not* that close with (but they think you are) say things like "I can't wait to come to your wedding!!!!!" I think you really need to manage expectations. Can you imagine how confused you'd be if you planned on going somewhere and blocked off a big part of a weekend months in advance--and then never got the invitation? Being polite is also about letting people have their dignity and setting expectations, so leaving someone checking their mail and wondering what happened is ruder than just saying right off "It's a very small wedding" or "That's a tough question because our families are so big, the venue is so small, we're not really at that point in the planning process..." At least then they know they're not definitely in.

By the way, have you considered making some of those guys ushers instead of groomsmen? I'm not saying it has to be perfectly even, but that's very out of proportion and will look very odd if they all stand up there with you (right now there will be 17+ people up there on stage ). Also, just from a crowd management and organizational perspective, keeping the bridal party smaller means you have less stress the week of the wedding and generally less drama with the rehearsal dinner, gifts, tux pickup, etc.

 

[Autumnovember]

1. How many girls were in your bridal party? 2

2. Who paid for the dresses? They did. I found them on special at Ann Taylor, so they paid $65+alterations, but I think we all just lucked out. They would have been willing to pay more if it hadn't worked out that way.

3. How many men were on the grooms side? 2

4. Who paid for the tuxes/suits? They just wore black suits they already owned. We bought them matching ties.

5. If you were invited to a wedding within the year of your own wedding and you DID attend, did you invite them back? Yes, but it was DH's cousin.

6. What do you do when people who you are *not* that close with (but they think you are) say things like "I can't wait to come to your wedding!!!!!" I think you really need to manage expectations. Can you imagine how confused you'd be if you planned on going somewhere and blocked off a big part of a weekend months in advance--and then never got the invitation? Being polite is also about letting people have their dignity and setting expectations, so leaving someone checking their mail and wondering what happened is ruder than just saying right off "It's a very small wedding" or "That's a tough question because our families are so big, the venue is so small, we're not really at that point in the planning process..." At least then they know they're not definitely in.

By the way, have you considered making some of those guys ushers instead of groomsmen? I'm not saying it has to be perfectly even, but that's very out of proportion and will look very odd if they all stand up there with you (right now there will be 17+ people up there on stage ). Also, just from a crowd management and organizational perspective, keeping the bridal party smaller means you have less stress the week of the wedding and generally less drama with the rehearsal dinner, gifts, tux pickup, etc.

We were thinking of having two girls on each side (two standing behind me, two behind him) and then five guys on my side and five on his. I'm not worried about proportions as of right now....but I do understand what you're saying. I can't eliminate anyone from his side at all because its his brothers and he wants all of them to be part of it. So thats 6 brothers right there. One of the 6 is more than likely not going to attend the wedding so that leaves 5. He wants my BIL and 3 friends part of it too...so if anything, it will be 9 men and 4 girls...15 people.

 

[lulu66]

1. How many girls were in your bridal party? 4 total: 2 bm, 2 co-moh

2. Who paid for the dresses? they did but we kept the cost down b/c it was a factor for everyone ($40)

3. How many men were on the grooms side? 3 total: 1 bm, 2 gm

4. Who paid for the tuxes/suits? FI is paying for groom's attire as their wedding party gift (tux rental & tie to keep)

5. If you were invited to a wedding within the year of your own wedding and you DID attend, did you invite them back? N/A to us but I probably would but i don't think it's *required*

6. What do you do when people who you are *not* that close with (but they think you are) say things like "I can't wait to come to your wedding!!!!!" usually pull the "thank you so much! we're not sure how many people we're going to be able to invite; we might be keeping it very intimate."

 

[zoebartlett]

1. How many girls were in your bridal party?

2. Who paid for the dresses?

3. How many men were on the grooms side?

4. Who paid for the tuxes/suits?

5. If you were invited to a wedding within the year of your own wedding and you DID attend, did you invite them back?

6. What do you do when people who you are *not* that close with (but they think you are) say things like "I can't wait to come to your wedding!!!!!"]


1 and 3. My husband and I had one person each. My sister was my MOH and a friend of my husband's was his BM.

2. My sister paid for her dress although I had planned on doing so. She beat me to the register and wouldn't accept my cc.

4. I think we paid for the BM's tux, if I remember correctly. Maybe we split the cost? Now I'm not sure.

5. Well, we were pretty much the last of our friends to get married (we were "older" -- in our mid thirties). We were invited to a wedding a year before ours and we did invite the couple to our wedding when it was our turn. We would have anyway though since they're friends. If we weren't too close, I don't think I would have necessarily felt obligated to invite them to ours though. I guess it would just depend.

6. Luckily, that didn't happen to us. If it did, I might have just smiled and then changed the subject. Again, I wouldn't have felt obligated to invite that person if he/she wasn't on the list already.

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

1. How many girls were in your bridal party? five bridesmaids and two in the house party

2. Who paid for the dresses? the bridesmaids paid for their own dresses and alterations

3. How many men were on the grooms side? five groomsmen and three ushers

4. Who paid for the tuxes/suits? My husband paid for four groomsmen and my dad's tuxedo rentals and bought the formal dinner jacket for his best man's Navy uniform. The ushers wore Navy uniforms that they already owned.

5. If you were invited to a wedding within the year of your own wedding and you DID attend, did you invite them back? Yes, but these were close friends.

6. What do you do when people who you are *not* that close with (but they think you are) say things like "I can't wait to come to your wedding!!!!!" It depends on how close they are to you. If they are random nutjobs who have no business expecting to be invited, you smile graciously and exit the conversation without comment. If they are friends who would be invited if only you could afford or desired to have a larger wedding, you thank them for their well wishes but regret to tell them that you are having a small wedding. You don't owe them an explanation (cost, size, etc) unless you feel like giving one. Luckily, my mom received more assumed invitation conversations than I did, and she set them straight very politely for me. It's a lot less awkward if someone else handles it for you!

 

[mrscushion]

1. How many girls were in your bridal party? 3.

2. Who paid for the dresses? They did, though I capped it at $250 and what went above (shipping, alterations), I paid for. I asked them twice to confirm the cost of the dress was okay.

3. How many men were on the grooms side? 6, so double my girls.

4. Who paid for the tuxes/suits? They're wearing their own black suits. One guy is wearing a black-looking blue, the other a green suit that no one can tell isn't black. We had to be flexible because we didn't want people buying new suits.

5. If you were invited to a wedding within the year of your own wedding and you DID attend, did you invite them back? This did not happen to me (we did not attend), but if it were me in your shoes, I would not go to your co-worker's wedding (though I'd send a gift).

6. What do you do when people who you are *not* that close with (but they think you are) say things like "I can't wait to come to your wedding!!!!!" I would make sure I don't respond "you're invited" to people you're not sure you can invite. I did that with one distant cousin, and sure enough he's coming despite no invitation (his parents got one) and he's bringing a date.

 

[legallyspoiled]

1. How many girls were in your bridal party?
8 bridesmaids, 1 junior bridesmaid, 1 flower girl

2. Who paid for the dresses?
I am paying for half because all but two of them have to fly in and get hotel accommodations.

3. How many men were on the grooms side?
8 groomsmen and 1 ring bearer

4. Who paid for the tuxes/suits?
The groom originally said that he was going to pay for them but then he changed his mind and said he was going to get them back for all of the tuxes that he had to rent.

5. If you were invited to a wedding within the year of your own wedding and you DID attend, did you invite them back?
Yes.

6. What do you do when people who you are *not* that close with (but they think you are) say things like "I can't wait to come to your wedding!!!!!"
I just smile and say something like, "yes, it is a very exciting time." If the issue is pressed or someone straight out asks if they are invited, I don't give them a yes/no answer. I just tell them that we are still finalizing the guest list and unfortunately we won't be able to invite everyone who we would like.

 

[yssie]

1. How many girls were in your bridal party? 4 bridesmaids, no MOH distinctions

2. Who paid for the dresses?
They chose and bought their own, I told them "one of these eight shades of brown, or something close, tea-length or shorter
3. How many men were on the grooms side? 5 groomsmen

4. Who paid for the tuxes/suits? they're paying for their own rentals - but I think two or three already own tuxes, so they'll just be renting the vests and ties.

5. If you were invited to a wedding within the year of your own wedding and you DID attend, did you invite them back? Yes, but because they would have been invited anyway! We would not have done any 'courtesy reciprocal invites' - or, at least, it's very unlikely we would have...

6. What do you do when people who you are *not* that close with (but they think you are) say things like "I can't wait to come to your wedding!!!!!" Say thanks, smile, and move on. Usually they're just being nice by being enthusiastic for you, I think!


My bridal party is going to be an interesting one----4 girls as of right now and 10 guys (he has a lot of brothers). For his brothers wedding this past June, they had everyone pay for their own dresses and own tuxes. I figured if the dresses that I pick out for the girls are expensive, I should at least pay for half of the cost. I'm not sure what to do about the guys? Pay in full for their tuxes, pay half, or have them pay for their own? I've considered the same for the girls and I'm torn.

I was recently invited to a wedding for someone I used to work with. I'm not sure yet if I'm going but if I *do* does that automatically mean I *must* invite her to mine? I'm not really close with her (I used to be when I worked with her) and if I invite her it means I need to invite another girl who worked with us also (I can't imagine inviting one and not the other). Thoughts?

Pertaining to question 6, I've had several people say things like, "will I be invited to the wedding?!?!?!?!" or "OOMMMGG I can't wait to come to the wedding!!!!!!!!" and lastly "You better invite me!!!!---or I'll crash it " while its nice that some people are overjoyed to come to the wedding and *want* to be there it drives me a little crazy when I'm asked these questions by people I'm barely even friends with. I just always respond nicely and say "yeah! you're invited!"....probably not the best way to answer but they catch me off guard and thats the first thing that comes out of my mouth

Good luck Autumn! I'm pretty sure noone will *actually* crash your wedding, though the discussions are uncomfortable..

 

[wannaBMrsH]

1. How many girls were in your bridal party? I had 3 including the MOH

2. Who paid for the dresses? DH and I did (I found them on sale and bought them); we also paid for everyone's travel to our DW and accomodations during our stay

3. How many men were on the grooms side? He had 3 including the BM; but was going to have 5 initially

4. Who paid for the tuxes/suits? DH and I did (he bought all of their clothes online and had it shipped to their addresses for tailoring); we also paid for all of their travel and hotel to our DW

5. If you were invited to a wedding within the year of your own wedding and you DID attend, did you invite them back? We attended FIVE other weddings the year we were married. We invited all of the couples to our wedding, but with all of their expenses, they were unable to attend. All of the brides attended by bridal shower and/or bachelorette and a couple of the grooms attended DH's bachelor party. All gave us beautiful gifts and we gave all of them lovely gifts as well.

6. What do you do when people who you are *not* that close with (but they think you are) say things like "I can't wait to come to your wedding!!!!!" We were fortunate that we had a DW so I would just beam back and say, "We can't wait either!" and I didn't mind adding them to the invitation list. As long as the people I loved were there, I honestly didn't care who else was. That said, I also knew most people weren't going to shell out $1500 per person to attend our wedding...

My bridal party is going to be an interesting one----4 girls as of right now and 10 guys (he has a lot of brothers). For his brothers wedding this past June, they had everyone pay for their own dresses and own tuxes. I figured if the dresses that I pick out for the girls are expensive, I should at least pay for half of the cost. I'm not sure what to do about the guys? Pay in full for their tuxes, pay half, or have them pay for their own? I've considered the same for the girls and I'm torn.

I was recently invited to a wedding for someone I used to work with. I'm not sure yet if I'm going but if I *do* does that automatically mean I *must* invite her to mine? I'm not really close with her (I used to be when I worked with her) and if I invite her it means I need to invite another girl who worked with us also (I can't imagine inviting one and not the other). Thoughts?

Pertaining to question 6, I've had several people say things like, "will I be invited to the wedding?!?!?!?!" or "OOMMMGG I can't wait to come to the wedding!!!!!!!!" and lastly "You better invite me!!!!---or I'll crash it " while its nice that some people are overjoyed to come to the wedding and *want* to be there it drives me a little crazy when I'm asked these questions by people I'm barely even friends with. I just always respond nicely and say "yeah! you're invited!"....probably not the best way to answer but they catch me off guard and thats the first thing that comes out of my mouth