shape
carat
color
clarity

Should I have my wedding on TV?

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.

Emeraldfan

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 27, 2006
Messages
299
We were asked today if we would like to have our wedding aired on a one hour special episode on elegant, intimate weddings. It is not a recurring show like Platinum Weddings and I was assured it would be very respectful (not like Bridezillas). It is sponsored by Tiffany's and Neil Lane and we would get some nice benefits - however, I'm just not sure I want our wedding to be a spectacle. My fiance and parents think it might be fun, but I worry that our guests may feel uncomfortable and not enjoy the day. Also, will we feel like we are putting on a show rather than enjoying our wedding?

So, I thought I would come here for advice. Would you want your wedding broadcast on TV??
 
How good are the perks from Tiffany?
9.gif
Would they pay for your wedding and stuff?

I don''t know, I don''t think I could do it, personally.

If you do do it, ask if you can sign off on the footage they choose to use, or whether, once you sign initially, they have the right to show you crying, or in the ladies'' room, or losing your temper with your mom or whatever whether you want them to or not.
 
I''d do it, but I''d have a lawyer read the contract very very carefully before signing it.
 
The perks, although nice and not-insubstantial, are nothing that would really sway me. In fact, I feel like I would eat up all that money really quickly on new expenses just so everything was perfect for the wedding show.

I am an attorney, so no problems there on reading the contract. It would be read very, very carefully. I certainly wouldn't want to have any of my less than beautiful moments aired for the world to see. I didn't ask about the rights to veto anything or get into too much detail though, cause I am still mulling it over. If we are interested I am supposed to call them back and then we'll get into the nitty gritty.
 
Personally, I would not do it. My gut feeling is that a wedding is an intimate affair for family and close friends. I can''t for the life of me think of a good reason, for instance, to have a large wedding; no one really "knows" 300 people, do they? It should not be a public affair, and the more *hype* is involved, the less *real* it will seem. And this goes double for a televised wedding; it may very well seem like you are ''performing'' rather than living in the moment. IMHO.

The DH and I chose not to even have a videographer. We wanted our memories to be actual memories; we didn''t want a recorded version differing with our recollections. Because, really, the way you remember your wedding is the basis for all of your feelings about the day.

I realize I''m in the minority on this issue, and that''s okay by me. I''m just offering my 2cts as requested.
28.gif
 
Date: 1/17/2008 4:34:30 PM
Author: Emeraldfan
The perks, although nice and non-insubstantial, are nothing that would really sway me. In fact, I feel like I would eat up all that money really quickly on new expenses just so everything was perfect for the wedding show.
If the perks aren't that great, I wouldn't do it. Even if the perks were great, I don't think I'd be able to do it personally.

Out of curiosity, how did you get selected?
 
The only way I''d agree to that (because it WILL be somewhat of an intrusion) is if:

1. Tiffany''s ponied up a free Patek watch for the hubs as a wedding gift,

and

2. I got the wedding bling of my choice, for free and to keep, from Neil Lane.

Anything less, fuggedaboutit...
 
The consultant where I got my wedding dress knows the producers of the show. They needed a few brides who fit my description and my consultant thought it would be a fun idea if I was interested.

The more I think on it, the more I am leaning towards not doing it. I wasn''t even sure I wanted to hire a videographer and now we could possibly be having a whole camera crew
23.gif
. However, it would give me the motivation to lose those 15lbs. and look good in my wedding dress
1.gif
 
Not on your life.

No way......wouldn''t do it.
 
I don''t think I would do it. Especially if the "perks" are not really worth it. However, if the perks are *very* good, I might consider it. I would also ask about getting veto rights and the rights to the raw footage. If they are going to video everything, why not ask for the raw footage or a copy of the raw footage to make your own video? Just a thought.
 
I think if the perks were good enough then I''d think about it but if they''re not I definitely wouldn''t do it.
 
Would it be aired nationally, locally, on a premium cable channel? This would probably partially affect my decision because it would determine just how many people might see it.
 
Date: 1/17/2008 5:26:43 PM
Author: BriBee
Would it be aired nationally, locally, on a premium cable channel? This would probably partially affect my decision because it would determine just how many people might see it.
Yeah, that''s the rub. If you have a less than flattering moment, for whatever reason, how many people who know you will see the darn thing?
 
Thanks girls!!! Yes I am definitely worried about those unflattering moments taken out of context. It would be on national tv so a lot of people would be seeing it (plus all the re-runs).

I did call again and speak with them, they said I would not get to see an advance showing and wouldn't have creative control/veto power. They promised they wouldn't show any of my guests in a negative light/drunk etc. and the guest could sign a form saying they don't agree to be filmed. They would want to go with me for my dress fitting and film me getting dressed in the morning, standing with my father before walking down the aisle, basically all those intimate moments. They said it would be very unobtrusive, still I am not sure I am up for it - I'm not really the flashy need to be on tv type girl. My fiance and his friends think it would be really cool though and now he's getting swayed by them. I think we'll have to talk it over more tonight.
 
I wouldn''t do it, too many reasons to list. Most of them have been mentioned already.
 
I think it depends on your personality. If you (and FI) like being the center of attention, go for it! If you''re inclined to stay in the background, just say no.
 
As long as I had veto power and knew they weren''t going to follow me to the bathroom, etc, it wouldn''t bother me one bit.
I think it would keep me on my best behavior which is always helpful and it would save money off a videographer and photographer.
I think it really depends on how you see your wedding. If it is an intimate affair meant to be a spiritual binding of two people then of courese it is a problem.
If it is like my wedding, then it is just a big party for family members and having broadcast means that all the people who coudn''t come like my friends in Germany and France could see it even though they can''t come.
Besides, no one believes me when I tell them how bad my FMIL is and this would prove it!
 
The exhibitionist in me is screaming "yes, that would be so fun!", while the realist and more private side of me is saying "nah...I wouldn''t want to deal with any additional stress/chaos." I remember several sort of candid moments during our reception when the photog blatantly interrupted us and asked us to pose really quick...and both DH and I weren''t happy about that issue especially since we had asked for a more laid-back, candid style of photography for our wedding. Watching some of these wedding shows I sometimes wonder if it isn''t sort of a strain on the couple to have to do little interviews here and there throughout the day...no matter how hands-off a photographer/videographer/t.v. production crew says they will be, in the end I think you would have to think about whether you want your day to be filled with more direction than the wedding coordinator or your photog would demand. I just read your most recent post on this thread where you mention the crew would be as unobtrusive as possible...I guess I would be wondering what their definition of unobtrusive was, and if it matched mine...

I can definitely see it being a lot of fun, though. And I''d looooovvveee to see a fellow PSr''s wedding on t.v. sometime!
31.gif
Best of luck with your decision!
35.gif
 
My gut says no. I am not very good about being the center of attention and without being able to see an advanced copy or have content control, I would just feel too exposed. What if what they deem appropriate is not to your liking? I love Neil Lane, and if I got some red carpet ready bling to keep...lol...but, really, I think you seem like too classy of a lady to do this. Though I get that this is being done in a more elegant and tasteful way, no tantrum showing etc, I just think you might regret it later on and then you have already done it. I have often wondered what people say to themselves in order to make it work in their minds...maybe budget is an issue and they get everything donated or whatnot...but it is still your wedding. But I am not one who pines to be on television, I have been before a few times and I hated it! I get very selfconscious and embarrassed. If your fiance is loving the plan, you may have to have a big picture talk, presuming you do not wish to participate. He might be getting hooked on the cool, in the moment aspects and not thinking about the latter issues.
 
Oh hell no. And no. And NO.

Perks? I would be having a wedding to share my vows with the one I love and get married. For perks, I''ll look to my employer!
 
Amybride - I am definitely not a person who likes to be the center of attention. We aren't even planning on having a head table so we'll be able to spend time with our friends and family and not feel like we are on a pedastool. We do want a more intimate affair and we limited the guests to about 80 people

brazen irish hussy - unfortunately no veto power and that really concerns me. If we went forward I would definitely try to modify the contract so it explicitly said what they could and could not air (bathroom, and fights with my mother come to mind).

monarch - I know, a part of me is like "wow, this would be so fun, and a great memory to have forever of our day" while another part of me is like "heck no, I don't want to commercialize my wedding and have the added stress of being always on." Figuring out what unobtrusive means to them would also be something we would have to figure out. It would be fun to see a pricescoper on a show - and you guys could see my reset and wedding band I'll be getting done in a few weeks by Leon (which I've been keeping under wraps)

diamonfan - thanks so much for your reply!! You are such a classy lady as well and your opinion means a lot. It's not something I ever saw doing for our wedding and I am afraid I might regret it later on. I am very selfconscious as well but I guess my thought on it was now that it's in our lap, do we go for it. I am trying to make this wedding a beautiful, elegant yet fun affair, and if it's not portrayed in that light it would really upset me.


After everyone's good advice, I am most likely not going to do it. I'm will talk to my fiance tonight though and see how he's feeling.
 
You might want to tell them that you would be happy to do it in exchange for a percentage of the advertising revenue derived from the show and its repeats and any other use of your [and any of your people''s] likenesses [in addition to the perks] - and get it in contract form. Or, they could pay you an up front lump sum for a single airing.

In instances like this I''d suggest approaching it from the perspective of "what''s in it for you", how can you leverage it and is it worth it?

My guess is that they are looking for volunteers to do it for basically nothing [only the "perks"].

If you decide it is worthwhile, you might also want to go to the maker of your gown, your florist, etc. and get them to pay you for a mention of their names on the show, etc.

There could be an opportunity here
9.gif
.
 
If they paid for the ENTIRE wedding excluding the bridal couple attire and the photographer (EVERYTHING, food, flowers, venue, ceremony ALL OF IT). But with the stipulation that it's their money, but all my taste and choices. Plus a wedding coordinator to keep me trouble free all day.

And they threw in a dream honeymoon to someplace like Peter Island (that they wouldn't be coming to).

AND I got to veto any scene being taped or aired.

AND I got to approve the final cut.

AND I got SERIOUS bling: Tiffany for Watch for groom, bridemaid's gifts, and groomsmen cufflinks. PLUS full bridal suite from Neil Lane (necklace, earrings and a wide bracelet-- WITH diamonds).

Then MAYBE I'd consider it.

Short of that. No.
9.gif
 
No way ever.

The other thing to consider is your career. Weddings are usually made up of friends and family, so if you become a blubbering mess (emotionally), or who knows what it, is not seen by all your clients, future bosses etc - I dont know, that would make me shudder, hard to maintain your professionalism when they have seen you in some intimate or less than flattering moments. Also, the reality is unless you have the clout to veto all footage you dont like, they will use stuff that you wont like - that is what makes interesting TV.

best of luck and let us know what happens
35.gif

D2B
 
I don't think I'd do it because it would be a distraction. I'd feel really self conscious knowing that I'm being filmed for TV, and the guests might feel self conscious also. Or maybe people would start hamming it up for the cameras.
3.gif
 
Date: 1/17/2008 5:06:58 PM
Author: aljdewey
Not on your life.

No way......wouldn''t do it.
Big ditto to that!
 
Would I want my wedding broadcast for all the world to see? No. I think certain shows like TLC''s A Wedding Story do a great job of showing the best parts of someone''s wedding day. I''m not sure if that show''s on anymore though -- I haven''t seen it lately. Other shows like Bridezilla are more sensationalized and they don''t show the bride in very good light. So it could depend on what the angle is of the show tht wants to air your wedding. For me, it would be one more thing to think about and potentially worry about and I wouldn''t want to deal with it.
 
I''m going to have to agree with everyone else on this one. Unless someone offered to pay for my entire wedding AND I knew I could keep all of my "bratty" moments off TV. The thought of having an entire TV camera crew at my wedding.....
38.gif
they have a ton of equipment.
 
How did the discussion go with your FI last night??

I think that even if the show was very respectful and tastefully done (like TLC''s "A Wedding Story") having a camera crew around you all day would still take away from the experience. I think there are people who are perfectly comfortable in front of a camera and people who are not. I was opposed to having a videographer at our wedding, but DH''s uncle is a videographer and showed up with his camera despite me asking him NOT to film it numerous times. The entire time he was filming I could only think about what I would look like on camera and it was distracting. Also, his stupid camera was in many of my favorite pictures.

I can''t imagine how much more pressure you''d feel knowing that the film was going to be shown on national TV. No matter how laid-back and easygoing you are, the day of your wedding is going to be overwhelming. It''s a combination of being very emotional, wanting everything to come together and having many, many people around you. I think if you add a camera crew, it might be too much.
 
Date: 1/18/2008 12:47:34 AM
Author: DiamanteBlu
You might want to tell them that you would be happy to do it in exchange for a percentage of the advertising revenue derived from the show and its repeats and any other use of your [and any of your people's] likenesses [in addition to the perks] - and get it in contract form. Or, they could pay you an up front lump sum for a single airing.

In instances like this I'd suggest approaching it from the perspective of 'what's in it for you', how can you leverage it and is it worth it?

My guess is that they are looking for volunteers to do it for basically nothing [only the 'perks'].

If you decide it is worthwhile, you might also want to go to the maker of your gown, your florist, etc. and get them to pay you for a mention of their names on the show, etc.

There could be an opportunity here
9.gif
.
Maybe it's just me......but something just doesn't feel right about turning one's wedding into a 'business opportunity'.
23.gif


Maybe this is just me being naive and sentimental, but I just couldn't get behind doing this for a wedding unless it was the only way to have a wedding otherwise? And even then......nah.

I know most people are focused on 'will it add extra stress', and I know that most people aren't comfortble in front of the camera...hence their reasons for discomfort. But for me it's more than that......

People's behavior changes when they are being watched/filmed, and that distraction/focus actually *interferes* with the emotions of the day, etc. This isn't just about agreeing to be filmed; for me, it's allowing an outside force to actually influence (not just observe) one of the most important days of your life.

To me, that's just too high a cost.
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
GET 3 FREE HCA RESULTS JOIN THE FORUM. ASK FOR HELP
Top