should i invite my FI''s ex-wife and family???? HELP ME!!!

[doodle]

my guy has a young son from a previous marriage who lives with his mom and stepdad several hours away. he''s going to be in our wedding, but we''re having difficulty figuring out the logistics of him being at the wedding because we''re leaving for our honeymoon the next morning, so we won''t be able to take him home after the wedding, and as it''s a 7 hour drive, we don''t want to ask my future in-laws to do it either. the only solution we''ve been able to come up with so far is to invite the ex''s parents, who my guy still gets along well with and who would have no issue with taking the kiddo back and forth if they were able to attend the wedding, but we can''t invite them without inviting the ex and her hubby, too (believe me, it''ll start world wars 3-9!!!). the ex and i don''t get along well at all (she brings back scary childhood memories of ursula the sea witch from disney''s the little mermaid, if you catch my drift). it''s extremely important to my guy that his son be there, but it''s starting to look like the only way to swing that is to risk the ex RUINING our wedding (we once arrived to pick up the kid; it was her other kid''s first birthday party, so all their friends and family were there. she had gotten in a fight with her husband and was throwing his clothes all over the yard in front of everyone. if she''ll act like that at her own child''s birthday party, i have no doubt that she''ll show her butt at our wedding in some way or another!). as of right now, my best idea is to run her over, get legal custody of the kid, and live happily ever after, but then i''d need PSers to post bail!!!! any sage advice out there? ...or professional hitmen? jk...maybe

 

[Independent Gal]

What about Grandma? Aunty? Family friend?

 

[luckystar112]

In a word...um.....NO.
Unless you want this woman to pick apart everything about your wedding, I would not invite her. Who''s to say she''d show up anyway? Awkward!!! She sounds lovely by the way. lol. Can''t grandma and grampa watch the son for the weekend as a wedding gift to you?

 

[luckystar112]

Date: 4/1/2008 12:20:53 PM
Author: Independent Gal
What about Grandma? Aunty? Family friend?

I hope you''re posting about your wedding young lady!!!

 

[bee*]

Date: 4/1/2008 12:25:59 PM
Author: luckystar112

Date: 4/1/2008 12:20:53 PM

Author: Independent Gal

What about Grandma? Aunty? Family friend?

I hope you''re posting about your wedding young lady!!!

ditto to both posts!!

 

[swingirl]

Do NOT invite them to the wedding (they don't want to be there either!) but you could offer to put them up in a nice hotel so they could spend the night and not have to drive all in one day. Nice hotel, dinner or movie tickets, chocolates sent to their room. It would make a nice gesture.

And it's not fair to expect someone else to miss the wedding or be inconvenienced for your wedding. The poor kid shouldn't feel like extra baggage, either.

 

[lauralu]

No to the ex coming and No to the ex in laws coming. Do you know for certain that the ex in laws would want to be there anyway? Wouldn't it feel weird to them to attend the wedding of their ex son in law even if they still get along? I would imagine still getting along may have a lot to do with them being his sons grandparents? I don't think you need to invite them just because they would be taking him back to their daughters house.

Would your FI be able to talk with them...asking them if they could come and get their grandchild at some point during the reception? being there for the wedding, pics and all that goes with that is most important for his son I would say....

Why do you not want to ask your future in laws? They are his grandparents as well. Wouldn't they want to help you guys out in this circumstance? Maybe even his ex would be willing to meet your FI's parents half way the next day. it's worth a shot anyway....

Or..........is there one of your family members that you guys could pay a pretty penny to, to drive him back home the next day? I would pay someone big bucks to do that for me before I would invite trouble like an ex and her mom and dad. OMG makes my head spin just thinking about it.


How old is he? Can he ride a bus back? lol sorry, just brainstorming. I really feel for you

I hope you get a solution that works for all

 

[lauralu]

OOOOOOOOOOO good idea putting ex inlaws up in a hotel for their trouble....great idea!!!

 

[doodle]

this woman won''t even meet my FI half way when he gets visitation on weekends (we drive 14 hours total every other weekend go get the kiddo). with it being such a long drive, i don''t know if having two old people drive a 10 year old that far would be a good idea. most of my guy''s family lives out of the country so probably won''t be here, and the ex would NEVER let someone from my family do it. ::sigh:: putting the ex''s parents up for a night isn''t a bad idea, though, and since the ex''s mom generally helps my FI out when there''s drama, she''d probably understand our situation and would at least consider the idea. we''ve completely kept the kiddo out of this, so he shouldn''t be feeling like baggage. heck, right now, he still thinks he''s going on the honeymoon with us!! we haven''t yet gotten the opportunity to set him straight on that one. i KNEW we should''ve set our date earlier--then he''d be out of school for the summer, could stay with the FI''s parents while we were honeymooning, and we''d have no problemo. DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT! i appreciate all y''all''s advice very much! whoa, i just noticed all the "dang" and "y''all"--can you tell i''m from the south?

i did notice, however, that nobody vetoed my idea of running her over...

 

[LegacyGirl]

ouch what a situation

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 4/1/2008 1:49:38 PM
Author: doodle
this woman won''t even meet my FI half way when he gets visitation on weekends (we drive 14 hours total every other weekend go get the kiddo). with it being such a long drive, i don''t know if having two old people drive a 10 year old that far would be a good idea. most of my guy''s family lives out of the country so probably won''t be here, and the ex would NEVER let someone from my family do it. ::sigh:: putting the ex''s parents up for a night isn''t a bad idea, though, and since the ex''s mom generally helps my FI out when there''s drama, she''d probably understand our situation and would at least consider the idea. we''ve completely kept the kiddo out of this, so he shouldn''t be feeling like baggage. heck, right now, he still thinks he''s going on the honeymoon with us!! we haven''t yet gotten the opportunity to set him straight on that one. i KNEW we should''ve set our date earlier--then he''d be out of school for the summer, could stay with the FI''s parents while we were honeymooning, and we''d have no problemo. DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT! i appreciate all y''all''s advice very much! whoa, i just noticed all the ''dang'' and ''y''all''--can you tell i''m from the south?

i did notice, however, that nobody vetoed my idea of running her over...

If it''s a long drive and the grandparents have the time make it easy for them. I would have them drive to a halfway point, stay the night (on your dime) then the next morning get up and drive the rest of the way. Attend the wedding, spend the night drive (on your dime) half way again. Spend the night half way again, then go home.

It would be worth the hotel payments to keep the crazy lady away from the wedding.

 

[neatfreak]

Is there any way you can change your honeymoon tickets to leave one day later and to leave from an airport closer to where the kid lives? That way you could drive him home and only delay your honeymoon by one day.