Should I settle? Hard decision to make...

[tawn]

After 10 years of marriage, we decided it was time for a nice wedding ring! Of course, life keeps happening, foiling my plans for the "perfect ring"!! New 4X4, mortgage,kid, evil Taxman, etc...(somehow my husband had claimed 4 dependents for last year? Must have a hidden family somewhere else!

),

Now, we found out my hubby is going overseas in October! He''ll be gone for 6 months (including Christmas)...So, our families insist that we visit this summer before he heads off into danger!! That means travel for family of 3 to Maine & British Columbia in one month$$

So that puts my ring on the back burner again! I feel guilty for being so greedy, but I''ve been waiting for so damn long!! Whine, whine...

However, we were out shopping on Mother''s Day...and I found a really simple set that I can''t stop thinking about!! Not anything like I dream about...but simple, classic, nice and sparkly, & on sale for an amazing price !! TCW is 1ct. The center is about .45, and there are 2 diamonds on either side, and 5 across the band! It''s in white gold, and when you look at it, all you see is flash, and not separate stones!

My husband is concerned that it''s not what I "want"! But, I was thinking that I would be really happy with it "now", and then I could replace that center stone with a 1.25 or 1.5 ct in a couple of years!? Then recycle that other smaller center into a pendant!

The other nice thing is...it''s in the "cash" budget..even with our trips! (We just can''t justify financing something like that!) The whole set is about the price of the "mountings" I''ve been looking at!

Why do diamonds and rings provoke such strong emotions!?

Note: This isn''t the ring...but sort of the same general set up! The actual ring has smoother edges,less prong action, and a little bit more of an antique classic look to it! Wish I could find a picture of it...then I wouldn''t have to drive off my island into San Diego to look at it again!!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Hi,

This is a beautiful ring! If your "perfect" ring is on the back burner regardless I'd go for it and get this ring and upgrade when you can afford to so you at least have a nice wedding set to enjoy now. My only concern is that in two years other expenses may still come up (as we always know happens) and you'll have to put your dream ring off again! You can always put the money you'd spend on this temporary ring in savings and then add to this amount each month until you have enough to purchase what you're hoping for. . .??? I'm not sure! Hard decision.

What IS your dream diamond/setting (is the 1.2-1.5 carat diamond plus THIS pictured setting roughly resembling your dream ring)?

Michelle

 

[sevens one]

I'm sorry to hear about the dilema. I say go with your gut.
Nan

 

[Patty]

That's a tough decision, tawn. What do you have now? Do you wear a wedding ring already? In the past I have "settled" with things because they were a good deal but then I've regretted my decision. The ring you are describing and showing is beautiful, though! I don't know how easy it would be to replace the center stone, though. To put a diamond that is much larger into it, you may be talking about re-making the whole ring...not just popping a new head onto it.

Maybe someone who knows more about the feasability of replacing the center stone down the road will chime in.

 

[diamondlil]

I have to agree with Patty. Every time I have "settled" for one thing when I really wanted something just a little nicer, in a short period of time I regret not waiting to get what I really wanted or just going for it in the first place. Now, I'm not saying go out and buy your dream ring and diamond right now with the other financial obligations coming up, but maybe there is a way to work it out.




Have you seen your dream settings? Would you feel comfortable getting your dream e-ring/wedding set and using a sim for the center stone now? Then when you are able, just change out the center stone with the real thing? I don't know how you feel about sims and I've never had one, but I've been to a couple of high-end jewelers in my area that sell settings, and they mount CZs as the center stone so people can visualize the rings better. I must say, they look pretty nice. For me, looking down at that sim would give me incentive to put a little aside every month for my dream diamond. What do you think?




DiamondLil

 

[tawn]

Sounds like we've all experienced the "settling" thing...But, when you have a family, you make sacrifices and are happy to do so! I've been wearing my mom's diamond which is half a carat of complete white sparkle, which I had reset into an antique filagree setting. It's lovely, but has nothing to do with my marriage! It's purpose to notify other men that I'm taken usually works though, except for today when some older man asked me if I was a movie star, and if I wasn't...told me that I could be! Too funny...

When it comes right down to it...I think that my "dream ring" is sort of focused on the diamond! I have about 20 "favorite" settings in my ring folder!! All, white gold or platinum, classic and antique settings...different styles for different shaped diamonds! Some of them completely not practical for my active lifestyle...but girls have to dream!

My husband is supposed to get a pretty fair sized bonus from his work contract in the spring of 2006...and I should be able to pick out a pretty nice stone then!! And, a new car too!!

I'm pretty sure that I would have to have a total new head put on that setting if I were to upgrade to a larger stone though! But, even if I ended up having to get a simple solitaire setting for the new stone...it would be okay too! Heck, the more rings...the better! I really love the wedding band, and I've seen similar ones priced close to what this whole set would cost!

I think I'm going to go in tomorrow and have another closer look at it on my finger...and see how obsessed with it I become! And, of course, talk to my poor husband, (who is probably glad he's out of town right now!)

Thanks for the advice...I think "you're" helping me talk myself into it!

 

[tawn]

To answer the sim question:

Looked at some rings at Robbins Brothers over the weekend as well...and they had sim centers in a lot of them! Thought about doing that, but didn't really find any rings that I fell in love with there!? Although they do have a nice selection!

 

[Judi W]

Hi Tawn,

Try not to think of it as "settling"....but as a "step up". Look forward to the day when you can get that dream ring, and believe that it come. In the meantime....may life continue to "keep happening".

 

[tawn]

Thanks Judi...

I'm starting to like this idea more and more!! And, by the way...we decided months ago to purchase our diamond at Whiteflash! Looks like it might not be for awhile yet!

Tomorrow, I'm going to go check the ring out really carefully, and put a deposit on it if I'm still impressed with it! Also, I'm going to check to see if there is enough room to put at 1ct+ diamond on there later!

Thanks for the advice guys...I feel much better about it!

 

[daboyzmomi]

Hi Tawn!

I basically think you should hang out and wait to get what you exactly want all at once. We were suppose to upgrade my ring at 5 yrs but we decided to buy another house and had to put it off til 10 years. But, it worked out in my favor. My .62 RB center was going to be upgraded to a 1ct RB, but due to the extra wait Hubby had to upgrade to the sweet 2.01 ct RB and 1.07 ct in sidestones too! HEHEHEHEHEHEHE...so sometimes waiting is a wonderful thing! Hang in there, soon your dream will happen.


PS- Does my setting look more like what you saw? It is a custom job by the great folks at WF. I HIGHLY recommend them for your peice. Brian was wonderful to work with on this design. It is PERFECT.

 

[tawn]

I've been waiting for 10 years...have purchased 4 houses, vehicles, travelled, have a kid, etc...!

With no wedding ring at all!!

He even has one! We were in Italy and he found a simple band that he really liked, so we got it and he started wearing it before we even got married! But, we closed on our first house 3 weeks before we got married...so, I didn't get one! I wasn't upset then, but I might have been if I'd known I would still be weddingringless 10 years down the road!

If it were an upgrade, I would be more willing to wait...but my theory is that I can get a wedding set now, which a nice classic style, and keep my center stone upgrade option open!! (This way I'm sort of guaranteeing an upgrade within the next few years!!)

My husband would never buy me a diamond...it would never even cross his mind! I would fall over dead if he actually surprised me with a 2ct ring like your hubby did! His last gift to me was a knife...a deadly sharp little number that clips on to your pocket!

Of course, a diamond studded knife...he might go for that!

 

[valeria101]

One more vote...

against "settling" - however you look at it, bargains are often just a loss of money (ok, a smaller loss than the relative non-bargain, but who needs any?). It seems to me that the respective set just happened to cross your way exactly in the right time when you were more eager to get no matter what as long as you get it!

Now, most seller have something called "trade uo policy" - It seems that this would be the best "instrument" to settle for a "stepping stone" and get another later. Could there be a nicer way to save for a diamond ?

However, this would mean that both stones come from the same place.

 

[diamondlil]

Since you have decided to go with White Flash for the diamond eventually anyway, I would take advantage of their excellent trade-up policy. It seems you have not found your dream setting (which I thought you had and was recommending the sim for the center), so how about getting an affordable diamond now with White Flash in a simple setting and trading up when you can. In the meantime, if your dream setting comes along, you can consider that at the time. If that setting you posted is not your dream setting, you probably won't end up putting an upgraded diamond in it anyway (and it may not fit a stone over 1 ct either). I feel that the "settled-for" setting has regret written all over it, so to speak.




I hope we are not totally confusing you.

DiamondLil

 

[daboyzmomi]

Oh let's be perfectly clear here, Hubby did NOT surprise me with this ring at all. He wouldn't ever buy me diamonds without my help due to the fact I use to be a Diamond Consultant. So, no surprise, but the shock of getting it out of his tight wallet did just as nice a trick hehehehe.

 

[tawn]

Your ring is super gorgeous by the way...I love it!

I think what really appeals to me about this ring set....is the wedding band! It's just really simple and really sparkly, and I'd be happy to get just the band...and to wait for the other! But, it's sold as a set...and the engagement ring is pretty much identical, except it has a bit bigger center stone! So, it's almost like a bonus ring!

I'm justifying it for myself...

My husband and I talked about it last night...and he agreed that we can just upgrade the center stone, or if that isn't possible, get a simple solitaire setting in spring of 2006! But, he doesn't understand why I'm just not happy with my knife! Oh...and for Christmas, I got a Wave Leatherman! (I do love it though!)

So, I'm going to go look at it again today...and I think I forgot to mention that the reason we can get a good deal is through my husbands work contact! So, it's not on sale at WalMart or anything!

The wedding band will be just that...but, I think I'm going to consider the engagement ring, the "Promise Ring"!!

I really appreciate everyone's opinions! It really helped to make me realize that I don't really feel like I'm settling! I'm getting something that I'll wear forever...a wedding band...and that I can still look forward to getting my dream diamond!

 

[tawn]

And...most importantly, will still give me an excuse to go into every jewelry store I see, and browse the internet for diamonds all day!

 

[tawn]

Went and looked at it today...and liked it just as much! The center can most definitely be upgraded to a bigger stone...(would just have to rebuild the head a bit)!

I think it actually passed a good test earlier on the weekend, because we went in to Robbins Bros right after we first found it....and I couldn't spot anything in there that I liked more!

So, I put it on layaway today...and when my hubby comes home, we'll make the final decision!! It will have to be sized, and I want the rings soldered together since the tops are a wider than the band, so I know they will spin and drive me crazy! The stones are all H colored, and S1-S2 clarity, and they sparkled more than any of the others in the case!

I feel really good about the decision...and keeping my upgrade option open! My husband even suggested that I'll probably be able to get a nicer diamond in 2006, because we'll only be purchasing the stone!!

 

[aliciamt7]

I just saw your post today, I think the settings are gorgeous!! My setting is very similar, instead of two diamonds on the side of the center, it's three on each side. And my wedding band (when it comes time to get it) will be just the seven stones in a row, just like yours has the five to match the e-ring (or promise ring)! You will love the setting, I've gotten so many compliments on the ring because it really does "just SHINE" with all the diamonds! I can't wait for my wedding band to match! Good luck, and post pics when it's all bought! And when you upgrade later, you'll just love it even more!

Alicia

 

[tawn]

It's on layaway...and that's not a picture of the actual ring, just the closest I could find! My husband will be away longer now, until the 28th!! So, I have to wait forever! Actually, even longer than that...because it has to be sized down, and soldered together and that takes about week right now! Apparently, they're really busy in June because so many people get married!

In the meantime, I keep looking at other rings...and can't find anything even remotely close to as nice in the same price range! So, that makes me feel good!

So, I should have pics online by about the middle of June at the latest! Have to buy a magnifying glass, so I can take some good ones! (Picked up that photo tip here, of course!)