Shower awkwardness - need advice

[Independent Gal]

My parents'' friend is throwing me a shower, about 3 days before the wedding. Problem is, there will only be 3, possibly 4 of my friends in town at that point. I do have some family in town, but on my dad''s side, and I don''t know how my mom would feel about having them there. The rest of the ''local'' invitees are family friends, some very close, some less so.

So, I''m a little worried that I''m going to end up with a shower with, like, 8 attendees. I guess that could be kind of fun! But I might feel like a dork. Plus, the hostess is going to have a house guest who doesn''t like me (at a fundraiser once, like, 7 years ago, she WRONGLY thought I was trying to steal her date!) but she will be at the shower. That would be easier to handle if there were more than 8 other guests. But whatever. I''m a big girl. I guess.

My resulting questions are:

1) Whom do you invite to the shower? Should I have her invite all the local ladies who are invited to the wedding? Or only those I feel a special connection to?

2) And is there, like at the wedding, an implied obligation that they have to give a gift even if they can''t come? If so, I don''t want her to invite all my BMs who I know won''t be in town yet... since that would be like a gift grab. But on the other hand, is that rude?

3) Since the shower is so close to the wedding, are separate thank you cards required? Or can I think someone for both the shower and the wedding gift in one note?

Thanks gals!

 

[Independent Gal]

By the way, the hostess nixed my earring shower idea. She said it wasn't 'bridal enough'. Great. Customs Hell, here I come!

ETA: Not that I'm an ungrateful b!t@h or anything.

 

[tcm]

OK, I mostly lurk, but as someone who lives overseas much of the time I burst out laughing over your "customs hell" comment. You have my sympathies! Hope they come up with a shower that will be delightful for YOU.

 

[surfgirl]

I dont know but when I read the title of this thread I thought, "wow, TMI!" But now I see you''re talking about shower''s of the non-water variety...phew.

 

[Independent Gal]

That reminds me of the time when I was in grad school when I ran into two of my students in the communal shower room at the gym. Like, literally ran into them. My glasses were off, OK? Cause, like, I was in the shower. So I was, y'know, disoriented.

Anyway. There's your shower awkwardness TMI. Enjoy!