Shower hostess gifts?

[robbie3982]

When do you give the shower hostess(es) her/their gift/s? Would it be rude to wait until after the shower and to give each girl her gift in private? FSIL, MOH (bff) and MOH (little sister) are hosting one of my showers. MOH (bff) has put sooo much work into this shower that I wanted to make her present a little extra special, so I don''t want the 3 of them to be opening their gifts at the same time.

I was just asking my cousin what she''s getting for her shower hostess and she said she''s never heard that you''re supposed to give a gift to the shower host.

Help!

 

[janinegirly]

uh oh. my shower''s next week and i didn''t know i was supposed to get them gifts.

 

[luckystar112]

I''ve never heard of that either!

What I would do is get them all the same gift...or similiar gifts. And then in private AFTER the shower...maybe even the next time you see her, give her the other gift and tell her how much you appreciate all the extra work that she put into the shower.

 

[robbie3982]

Ok, maybe I''m confused and you''re not supposed to get the shower hostess a gift?

 

[sumbride]

It''s kind of a regional thing. My Texas shower had 12 hostesses so I was thrilled when mom told me all they expected was a great thank you note. For the one my bridesmaids are throwing, I''m going to send them their gift after the event because 2 girls are traveling to it. If you went that route, it wouldn''t be so awkward to give them different things. I think it would be kind of weird to hand them gifts at an event that is supposed to be about you getting gifts. Don''t know though.

As for what I''m giving, my shower is a tea party, so I''m sending "rariteas" gift sets.

 

[Jaders731]

I gave my shower-hostess a Lalique Rabbit for her gift... I had heard she collected rabbits.. and since I live out of the country I could get it duty free.. which helped!

I dont know that there is a rule that you have to give a gift to the hostess.. but as a general rule for me.. I always bring something for the hostess of any party.. shower, dinner or otherwise..

Hope that helps.

 

[RoseAngel04]

Oh how exciting about your upcoming showers Robbie! I just had my last bridal shower Saturday...they''re so much fun!

As for the shower hostess gifts it is NOT a "must do." I don''t think hostess expect a gift however I do think it''s a very kind gesture for all the hard work they put into an event in your honor. I think a hostess would be happy just to receive a nice thank you card...but if you want to go above that then a small gift is a really nice gesture. I made all of my hostesses "Cookies in a Jar." I bought mason jars as a local craft store, as well as cute fabric to place on top and tied with a ribbon. Attached to the ribbon I made a cute card thanking them and included baking instructions on the back. I simply added the dry ingredients and layered them in the jar...it really came out nicely and all of my hostesses were so thankful and said how thoughtful etc. it was.

So Robbie I say go for it!

I gave all mine to the hostess the same day as the shower but after most of the guests had left. For your instance it may be better to do it privately since you are doing different things for each hostess.

 

[blushingbride]

Wow - I never heard of this either! My shower is next Saturday and really it was my mom and sister (MOH) who did all of the planning. I planned everything for my sister''s shower last year and she wrote me a really nice thank you note and I figure that she''s returning the favor by planning mine.

 

[FireGoddess]

I have never gotten a shower hostess gift, nor did I expect one, but I wouldn''t have declined one either!!! LOL.
I''ve mentioned it to others before, but I''m a big fan of a Tiffany''s champagne flute. Some are super cute and only $25 each.

http://www.tiffany.com/search/search_results.aspx?search_params=t+daisy-s+0-p+1-l+-h+-c+-r+200-x+

 

[sumbride]

Oh, I forgot... one of my hostesses told me it was "standard practice" that the hostesses would keep any duplicate gifts, and that they would each pick their favorites of the non-duplicates and take those too! Luckily she was kidding... everything made it into the car! My pewter santa bowl did get handled a LOT though!!!

 

[zoebartlett]

Personally, I think giving a gift (and tipping for that matter) has gotten so complicated these days. In my opinion, if you WANT to give a gift, that's great. BUT, I don't think anyone needs to do it out of obligation. I also think that your MOHs and FSIL are doing something FOR YOU, and you don't need to give them a gift for it. I do think it's very appropriate to give a very nice hand written thank you note, thanking each one personally for doing so much to contribute to your special day. To me, that would mean more than a gift. If you're very thoughtful about your words, I think that would mean so much more than a trinket.


ETA: I think it is standard practice to give the wedding party a gift either for the wedding (jewelry to wear, etc.) or something else. I think it's to show appreciation for all they've done for your wedding. If you ALSO give them a gift for hosting your shower, they're really getting more than needed. Again, this is only my opinion.

 

[robbie3982]

I think I''m going to go with some bath and body works type stuff and give moh bff a gift card to olive garden (her favorite restaurant).

Firegoddess, I LOVE the champagne flutes! I think FI and I are going to get one for FSIL''s 21st bday. We''ll give her a bottle of champagne too. I think she''ll love that it''s from Tiffany''s! I was really stressing about this gift, so thank you so much for the suggestion!

 

[Harleigh]

BlushingBride, I absolutely love your avatar! It''s beautiful!

I have been in 11 weddings and hosted or co-hosted several showers and I never received a "hostess" gift, nor did I expect one. I think a nice thank you card is expected, and anything beyond that is a nice little treat for your hostesses, so I say, "Go for it!" They will appreciate the extra thought you put into it and know how much their efforts meant to you.

 

[FireGoddess]

Date: 7/11/2007 4:26:34 PM
Author: robbie3982
I think I'm going to go with some bath and body works type stuff and give moh bff a gift card to olive garden (her favorite restaurant).

Firegoddess, I LOVE the champagne flutes! I think FI and I are going to get one for FSIL's 21st bday. We'll give her a bottle of champagne too. I think she'll love that it's from Tiffany's! I was really stressing about this gift, so thank you so much for the suggestion!

Glad it helped for something! I think they are really pretty and it's always fun to get anything in the little blue box with the white bow.

We got my SIL a set of 4 of these and the matching bowl, water pitcher, and vase in the daisy pattern for their wedding gift. It's beautiful.

ETA: They have plain ones and more expensive ones too...I just love the daisy ones.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 7/11/2007 1:40:35 PM
Author: robbie3982
Ok, maybe I''m confused and you''re not supposed to get the shower hostess a gift?

I always do. I think it is only polite and shows how much their effort means to you. For my first shower my MIL''s friends threw it (it is a tradition) I painted home made cards and gave them etched glass bud vases (from a local artist). I guess I was the first one in the 10 + years they have been doing this (they throw one for all their kids) who gave them gifts. They were pretty impressed. My second my gifts were similar but a little nicer since it was only thrown by 3 people (vs 6) and it was my family. I also got them etch glass pieces but they were serving pieces.

Just for ideas my SIL and friend threw me a baby shower and I got them Vera Bradley stuff (since they are really into that).

 

[jcrow]

for each of my showers i gave gifts too. some were given private. some public. depended on the situation.

i got my bridesmaids crane's blank notecards with their initial in gold on the font.
for older friends of the family (in law side) i gave a set of hot chocolate from mariebelle.
and for another set of hostesses i got soap engraved with their inital.

all were gifts given based on personality and such. and just a token of thanks.

eta: i don't think it's expected.

 

[labbielove]

Good point,
My situation is that my 3 sisters (my Bms) are technically paying for the shower, but a very dear friend, who would be a bm if I had a bigger wedding party (we really wanted to keep it as simple as possible) is actually hosting it at her home and is so happy to have a part in the wedding as such.

So,,,because she''s one of my best friends, I''m going to get her a gift and give it to her in private.
For my sisters I''m not, will just do a thank you note, because I''m giving them very generous (IMO) bm gifts, and paying for their dresses (although they don''t know that part yet)

In any case I don''t think it''s expected.

 

[kcoursolle]

I sent a nice thank you card and a one of those nice scented candles that comes in a jar.

 

[zoebartlett]

I just reread my post and I didn''t mean to sounds as harsh as I might have.

To give a gift...polite, definitely! Thoughtful and caring, for sure! Mandatory, not really.

 

[KimberlyH]

As the host of a shower I was pleasantly suprised to recieve a small token of thanks (candles in wine glasses w/ wine glass locators attached to each) from the bride. I didn''t expect it but was so pleased to recieve it as it showed she recognized how hard I''d worked to make her shower and wedding as nice as possible. She gave it to me privately, and it was a really special moment in our friendship.

 

[robbie3982]

This is what I ended up getting for the shower hostesses (minus moh bff) http://www0.epinions.com/content_351465082500. I went in to bath and body works and told them that I was looking for something little for my BMs who were hosting my shower and the woman directed me to this "Runaway Bridesmaid" bath set. It''s so cute! The box opens up and has 2 lists: I promise to and I promise not to. Both lists are totally wedding related. For example, "I promise not to try to set you up with one of the groom''s loser friends" and "I promise to seat you next to someone hot." I think the girls will definitely get a laugh out of it.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Robbie what a cute choice! I am sure they will love it.

 

[blushingbride]

Date: 7/11/2007 4:27:04 PM
Author: Harleigh
BlushingBride, I absolutely love your avatar! It''s beautiful!

I have been in 11 weddings and hosted or co-hosted several showers and I never received a ''hostess'' gift, nor did I expect one. I think a nice thank you card is expected, and anything beyond that is a nice little treat for your hostesses, so I say, ''Go for it!'' They will appreciate the extra thought you put into it and know how much their efforts meant to you.

Thanks Harleigh - I don''t even remember where I got it from, but I love cherry blossoms. I''m kicking myself for not using them as a theme for my wedding (we used them in our engagement party invites). Oh well....