Six months out and random rambling...

[Octavia]

I can''t believe that this past weekend marked the six month mark to our wedding! Time has gone pretty quickly, and I''m glad

We haven''t done much wedding-related stuff since we got the big things (venue, caterer, photographer, dress) all set, so we''re going to schedule some cake tastings soon. Yum. Need to find a judge/JP to officiate, which isn''t as easy as it sounds.

It''s been a little over six months since I ordered my dress and they gave me a six-month timeframe, so I sent an email to find out what''s up. Dress isn''t shipping until April 30th, so it will be here the first week of May. Sigh. Not that I need it yet (especially since I have finals at the end of April/beginning of May, so it should come in right after my last exam), but I''m tired of being patient and I''m terrified I''m either going to hate it or it won''t fit or both, so I''d rather be sure sooner than later.

We have scarcely thought about registering. I''m pretty sure we want to get the Aspen dinnerware from Crate & Barrel as our everyday dishes, and we already have a few soup bowls (I was in a pinch last Thanksgiving, and they were simple and cheap) so it will be nice to get matching sets! But there''s really not much we need, and the stuff we do like/need is scattered at a bunch of different places. I''m terrified of having four or five registries and looking like a greedy pig of a bride, even though there would only be a few things on each. And I''m worried about not having enough stuff to put on the registry, since a lot of people have started asking where we''re registered, are expressing shock and horror that we haven''t done it yet, and then say ominously, "well you better do it soon...you have to register, you know." Guys, even! Horrors!

Oh, and I''ve started putting out feelers for my wedding ring and now I just have to convince the FI that I can''t live without the ring of my dreams

Don''t know why I wrote all of this out, really, but it does feel good to get it out. Now I can go back to reading about real estate law, which is one of the few classes I''ve taken that has a real-life purpose...or will, once FI and I get our acts together on the house front...

 

[QueenG]

Yay Octavia! Can you believe that the wedding is fast-approaching? I''m sure the excitement will start to build after you get through your finals.

Do you feel like you''ll have any last-minute changes? Especially in the food department... do you think you might start wanting to switch menu items? I already see myself considering other choices. I obviously won''t talk to the caterers about it until we''re a weeee bit less than 18 months out! BTW, did you ever ask abou having the salads plated for guests befoe the buffet begins? It might be something I''d want to do.

I hear you about registering. We really don''t need ANYthing. Maybe new pots and pans b/c the set I bought 8 years ago out of college are starting to get a bit worn, and possibly a new set of dishes b/c I happen to be breaking them all lately. Just do whatever you want as far as registering is concerned. Really I think it''s more for the shower than the wedding. You said that your FI''s family is Turkish? If many of his guests aren''t originally from the U.S., you can probably expect cash gifts for the wedding. In my experience, it seems to be more customary.

And you must tell us about your dream ring! I''m sorry if I missed it in another thread if you''ve already gushed about it.

Good luck with finals!

 

[Octavia]

Aww, thank you Lioness! It's so nice to hear from you, and you're so sweet to "listen" to me babble on

. How are you doing, and how is your planning going? I know it's hard to do too much when the wedding is still pretty far away, but I'm seriously impressed by how much you've already done.

It is very exciting to finally be getting close (or at least, closer) -- our engagement is almost 2 years, and it's definitely wearing thin now because I just want the wait to be over! I haven't even thought about making changes to things yet, though, I've kind of been on a hiatus lately with the exception of shoe-shopping, which I'm always up for

. And I haven't asked about plating the salads but I'm planning to go to the linen rental place with Darby sometime in May, so I'll probably ask then. I'll make sure to page you to let you know what I find out.

We're actually having two celebrations, one here for our real wedding and then another the following summer in the little village FI's family spends summers in. A few of his friends and family are planning to come over for the wedding, but the majority will just celebrate with us there, since travel isn't cheap or particularly easy if you don't hold a US or EU passport (I honestly never realized what a blessing it was to have an American passport before, and definitely took it for granted). So I'm not exactly sure what to expect gift-wise, although I don't really expect anything at all. I'll just be happy to have our nearest and dearest there with us.

I haven't posted about my dream ring yet, I'm still trying to make sure it's feasible before I get too worked up about it. It should be, but FI doesn't "get" jewelry so he's probably going to have a heart attack when I spring it on him, hehe. But the dream wedding band has bezeled diamonds, and I'm constantly slicing him (accidentally) with my e-ring prongs when we're out walking and he reaches for my hand. So I might tell him it's really for his health and safety, not just for me...

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Octavia my dear-isn''t the registry thing such a bear?? I had my mother call me yesterday to ask for the umpteenth time where I was registered and whether I had an electric ice cream maker or not (yes, I do, I made ice cream when you were at my house last time Mom!)...sigh... I don''t think you look like a greedy bride. I registered at one place because I was forced to. I didn''t really want to register at all. I now have some relatives who are freaking because I registered at C&B and they don''t have one locally. I should have done a registry at a Walmart or Kmart so they had a place to go in person. I honestly didn''t even think about it. For some reason they''re scared or don''t know they can order online...You just can''t win.

Six months out was an exciting/stressful time for me. I started to stress about my dress, would it fit, did I make the right choice, but we also put some things in stone, like our DJ and officiant. Look on the knot, google JPs/officiants in your state and then take an afternoon to line up meetings with the most promising ones. The right person will jump out at you. Ours was the first person we met. She was fantastic! And cake tastings are by far the best thing about planning...yummo! FI and I are always tempted to go to them just for fun (we never do though).

 

[Octavia]

Thanks for the kind words, HH

I'm really not that concerned about the registry thing, it's more that it's just another thing to think about and do, and other than the cake tasting (which both FI and I are really looking forward to) I'm just over wedding planning. Completely and utterly done. People ask me about it all the time and I just want to scream "I. DON'T CARE. ABOUT. CENTERPIECES. We'll have them and they'll be fine and if you care so much about them, go ahead and take over, knock yourself out." I just don't think I'm cut out for this planning stuff.

As far as the officiant...that's more difficult because I've googled and googled and haven't come up with anything. FI and I are both against having a "faux minister" -- you know, the ones that are technically ordained by some random church but will do whatever kind of ceremony you want. We'd really, strongly prefer a government official (neither of us are religious, and in his native country, the only way you can get legally married is to go to a government official, so it kind of sketches him out that ministers can perform a legally binding ceremony here). But they're pretty impossible to find. I'm actually clerking for a couple judges right now, and for a different one this summer, so I'm hoping one of them will agree to officiate, but I can't quite figure out how to ask. I guess I can also call the courthouse to ask if they have a list -- maybe they just don't publish it. Who knows. We might still make it legal before the wedding anyway, so I'm trying not to stress too much.

I'm SO jealous that your wedding is coming up soon, though! I envy everyone whose wedding is before mine!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 4/15/2009 4:42:48 PM
Author: Octavia
Thanks for the kind words, HH

I''m really not that concerned about the registry thing, it''s more that it''s just another thing to think about and do, and other than the cake tasting (which both FI and I are really looking forward to) I''m just over wedding planning. Completely and utterly done. People ask me about it all the time and I just want to scream ''I. DON''T CARE. ABOUT. CENTERPIECES. We''ll have them and they''ll be fine and if you care so much about them, go ahead and take over, knock yourself out.'' I just don''t think I''m cut out for this planning stuff.


As far as the officiant...that''s more difficult because I''ve googled and googled and haven''t come up with anything. FI and I are both against having a ''faux minister'' -- you know, the ones that are technically ordained by some random church but will do whatever kind of ceremony you want. We''d really, strongly prefer a government official (neither of us are religious, and in his native country, the only way you can get legally married is to go to a government official, so it kind of sketches him out that ministers can perform a legally binding ceremony here). But they''re pretty impossible to find. I''m actually clerking for a couple judges right now, and for a different one this summer, so I''m hoping one of them will agree to officiate, but I can''t quite figure out how to ask. I guess I can also call the courthouse to ask if they have a list -- maybe they just don''t publish it. Who knows. We might still make it legal before the wedding anyway, so I''m trying not to stress too much.


I''m SO jealous that your wedding is coming up soon, though! I envy everyone whose wedding is before mine!

Oh god, it''s coming up SO fast! FI reminds me every day and I want to strangle him! LOL...

I''m horrified with myself as I type this, but have you checked on the knot? they have vendor suggestions by region.

 

[CNOS128]

Cake tasting was without a doubt my favorite part of wedding planning. It was so low-stress, and delicious. I wish I''d gone to more than 2 places....

What''s the wedding ring of your dreams look like??

 

[pan_manda]

Octavia... reading your thread made my day!! We are just over 6 months out (Oct. 24) and have our church, venue (catering included), dress, and down to 2 possibilities for a photographer. We have started to think about registering but haven''t yet... and are starting to get pestered about that too! We''re both in school so we don''t really have a ton of time for wedding stuff either. I''m getting pretty annoyed with people asking questions all the time and telling me I better get moving, my answer for them has been "if everything gets done before October it does, and if not FI and I will still be married by the end of the day"... but NOBODY takes that seriously!

I know I haven''t really said much, but I think getting it out and seeing that I am not the only one feeling like this helps!!

 

[JR320]

I am right there with you girls... I''m also at the 6 month mark (Oct. 17). We have all the major things done (venue, photographer, DJ, officiant, dress, and florist) And now I''m just totally over all the planning and just want the wedding to get here already! (we''ve only been engaged for 2 1/2 months, so I haven''t even been waiting long yet)

I''m trying to get my BM to order their dresses and haven''t even thought about registering for gifts yet. It''s all the little details that I find really annoying to plan.

Thanks for checking in... It was nice to see where others are in the process!

 

[jstarfireb]

Regarding the registry, could you do something like myregistry.com? It combines items from multiple stores onto one registry. My friends did a similar thing with felicite.com, but Felicite is now defunct.

 

[Octavia]

HH, I've scoured The Knot, Weddingwire, Project Wedding, everything I can think of. But all I come up with are companies with names like "Ceremony Heaven, Inc." and "Two Hearts, One Bliss Ceremony Officiants." Really not what we're after. Whatever. I might wait a little longer and see if I can get the judge I'm clerking for this summer to do it, she seems really awesome. If all else fails, we can always do a self-uniting ceremony (one of the few good things about PA) but we've been told that the INS doesn't like those as much. Blah.

TheBigT, I'm soooo looking forward to cake tasting! FI told me, very seriously, that he wants to try as many cakes as possible so he can make sure we're getting the best one. Hehe. I haven't really talked much about the dream ring yet because I want to make sure it's going to happen first. I always wanted just a plain plat band, and I still do, but I already have a plain band (WG, though) from our engagement ceremony with FI's family -- it's traditional there for both the bride and groom to have engagement bands worn on the right hand, which are then switched to the left at the wedding. But it seems a bit silly to get another plain band, so I'm thinking that maybe I should get something a little sparkly instead...

pan_manda, I'm so glad someone else feels that way! I'm also in school, and I don't have any patience for all the little details right now. It definitely helps to commiserate a bit!

JR320, you're so lucky to have a fairly short engagement! FI and I have been engaged since December '07, so it's way past time. It looks like we October brides have all gotten pretty similar stuff done so far, which is nice...I feel like there's not that much to do until August or so, now.

jstarfireb, that's a great idea! I'll definitely look into it. Thanks for mentioning it!