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Skipping the toss?

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NuggetBrain

Shiny_Rock
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Mar 20, 2009
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So a vast majority of the people that are coming to our wedding are married or engaged currently. I want to skip the garter and bouquet toss because I don''t see the point in throwing the flowers out to a total of 3 girls, or the garter to 2 guys (one of which is going to be 15.) Not to mention the fact that I always felt kind of awkward when I was a single girl participating in the toss. Is anybody else forgoing this?
 
I''m pretty sure we will be skipping it, for much the same reasons.
 
I want to skip it...FI wants to keep it in "because it''s tradition".

This will be a battle come closer to wedding day
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I like it b/c it''s traditional, and we are going to have a LOT of single girls at our wedding. I don''t think it''s quite as weird if it''s a large crowd. I would feel very awkward if I were 1 of 3 girls, though.

It''s OK to skip it out of considerations for your small group of single ladies!
 
I''m skipping it. I bet most people wouldn''t even realize if you don''t do it.
 
I just wanted to mention that even though sometimes you want to skip something traditional in your wedding, you might end up having it anyway. My priest, reception manager and MC sure organized my wedding day for me in the end. There''s no harm in trying though!
 
We skipped it. There weren''t enough single girls at the wedding to be tossing bouquets at! If I''d have had a bigger wedding (more than 80 people) and a lot more single friends I would have totally done it. I think some traditional things seem fun to do but I didn''t miss doing it per se.
 
We''ll have tons of single girls at the wedding with a 250 person guest list, but are skipping the tossing of the bouquet. It just sort of rubbed me the wrong way when I was single (especially when the bride gets up there and starts giving NAMES to the DJ to call you up there...as someone who dated their SO for 10 years before getting engaged, that got REALLY old).

We are skipping the garter toss because (maybe I''m just a prude) we''ve always been horrified when grooms actually dive under the bride''s skirt in front of all of their friends and extended family. I''ve always found it awkward and uncomfortable.

So, definitely skipping both for us!!
 
It''s always interesting to hear everyone talk about skipping this. I''ve been to several weddings this year, and if memory serves me, every single one had either a garter or bouquet toss or both. Yet the vast majority of PSers say they''re skipping them. Weird. Anyway, I included both because I think they''re a lot of fun. It''s totally up to you, but if you want to include it, you could turn it around and invite all the married women instead of the singles. Then have the DJ announce that the one who catches it will have the longest or happiest marriage. So it doesn''t have to be just singles!
 
I never thought the bouquet or garter toss were much fun for the participants. Too often you can tell it''s single women feeling awkward and/or getting dragged out onto the dance floor. And then they''re supposed to dive after a bunch of wilted flowers to be next in line to be married? Eek. And I agree that it''s equally awkward watching the groom go up the bride''s dress to retrieve the garter. I''d rather leave that to the bridal suite! We didn''t do either toss.
 
I accidentally skipped it and I''m not too upset about it. I didn''t realize the florist brought my toss bouquet because it was so pretty I thought it was one of the BM bouquets and assumed I didn''t have a toss. Also we started to run low on time...so I was like well maybe we''ll do it later and we didn''t. So no worries!
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We did it because there were a lot of singles in our crowd.

If you still want to do something fun with your bouquet you can do an anniversary dance which is really cute. You ask all married couples to come to the dance floor for a slow dance. Then you eliminate couples little by little saying "couples who have been married one year or less, please leave the dance floor" Do this for 5 years, 10 years, 15 year etc. Whoever is left at the very end gets the bouquet. Its very sweet.
 
plenty of single girls in my crowd and im still skipping it ;)
 
If there''s really only 2 or three single people to do the toss, it seems best to skip it. You never know if one of the single guests doesn''t want to participate for some reason. It also singles out a very small number of people. What if one of the single guests is in the bathroom or unavailable and there''s only 1 single guest!?

If you still want a toss bouquet, you can display it on your cake table...and then give it to the couple who has been married the longest, a close friend who isn''t in your wedding, or your mom/grandma.

I didn''t have a garter toss at my wedding...but I wore a garter...and my husband kept it!
 
We're not doing a garter/bouquet toss. Like you, everyone's married or engaged already. I may however give my bouquet to the female half of the longest married couple. ETA: This is because I'm leaving the next day for my honeymoon and wont be able to enjoy it. I'm not really the type to dry it...
 
I LOVE the idea of the anniversary dance! I''m going to see if my FI will go for that. He''s pulling out the "everyone does it!" for all these wedding items (like insisting on having magnet Save the Dates because his friends did it. Even though they''re way more expensive than we want).
 
We skipped the bouquet toss. I presented the toss bouquet to my Grandparents instead, who (at the time of the wedding) had been married 65 years. They didn''t expect it at all, and were pretty thrilled.
 
We skipped the garter and bouquet tosses. They just didn''t fit in well with the feel of our wedding, especially the whole garter bit.

I love Goldenstar''s suggestion, that sounds like a lovely, dignified alternative.
 
We''re totally skipping both even though many of our friends are single. I''ve just never been a fan of the whole thing! Maybe I just have bad memories of being at weddings when I was 15 and being forced to go out on the floor by the DJ when I didn''t know a soul. I don''t want to do that to anyone else
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Date: 6/29/2009 10:50:02 PM
Author: goldenstar
We did it because there were a lot of singles in our crowd.

If you still want to do something fun with your bouquet you can do an anniversary dance which is really cute. You ask all married couples to come to the dance floor for a slow dance. Then you eliminate couples little by little saying 'couples who have been married one year or less, please leave the dance floor' Do this for 5 years, 10 years, 15 year etc. Whoever is left at the very end gets the bouquet. Its very sweet.
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I kind of want to do this, except both grandparents attending are widows (or widowers) and FI's dad passed away some years ago, so it would be really awkward when the only couples out there were my parents and a bunch of 30 somethings. I think my parents would win that one since they've been married for 35 years
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For big families it's a cute idea!
 
We are skipping it, too. There will only be a few single people at our wedding, so I don''t want to make them feel uncomfortable.
 
My friend''s wedding that I just attended a few weeks ago skipped it...and it was just fine. It actually almost would''ve ruined the moment if they would''ve done it. I felt like they did everything very tasteful, yet informal...and I think a bouquet toss would''ve cheesed it up a bit.

I plan to skip it at mine, too. But, I do like this idea - I attended a wedding once where the bride tossed her "bouquet" or so we thought, but it was actually individual silk, but beautiful, roses. Bunched up they looked like her bouquet, but when she tossed them, they all scattered, so every girl got one. And, on each one was a little saying...mine said "you will marry your best friend." I thought it was the cutest idea and I will always remember that...and, I still have my rose!!

I was trying to think of an idea of how to incorporate this concept without a "toss." My wedding will be in Mexico, so I was thinking of using those mexican paper flowers, small ones, put sayings on them and put them in some type of display with some type of instruction that these are for the ladies to take...kind of a favor/keepsake, incorporating the "concept" above and skipping the boquet toss, but having something in its place.

Just a thought...any other ideas from those skipping...would you do anything in its place?? (maybe this is a new topic)
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I skipped them at my wedding. Didnt miss them and didnt make anyone feel uncomfortable by dragging
them into the middle of the dance floor for something they didnt want to do in the first place. (I remember
those days when I had to do it and I refused to force it on my guest).
 
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